


Mordu de vous (Beyond the line)

by Llixale



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, M/M, Temporary Character Death, Vampires
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-30
Updated: 2019-03-13
Packaged: 2019-09-02 16:16:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 16
Words: 64,341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16790392
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Llixale/pseuds/Llixale
Summary: Sam is ready to do anything it takes to save the ones he loves but is he ready to live with the consequences?





	1. This is not a date

"Don’t make it weird Wilson” Bucky said, taking Sam’s drink in front of him to taste it “Bleegh you have weird taste, what the hell, is this lavender?”

Sam takes his drink back, their fingers touching for two seconds too long before Bucky lets him proceed “first of all, who allowed you to drink in my glass? Secondly, this is weird. Admit it, it’s weird”

  
They were in the Baroola Bar, an overpriced place for mixologists amateur who couldn’t bear to call a mojito what it was. How could that place have become this close to be “their” place, it was a mystery for the both of them.  
It was too early for the bar to have more than a few clients, right at the start of the happy hour. It was also their fourth time here and they would always seat next to each other instead of face-to-face for some reason. They liked to be here only when they could choose where to sit.

  
“We are just having a drink”

Sam glares at Bucky showing him perfectly how little he believes in those words. He adds with fake nonchalance “Sure, just two buddy having a drink in a bar, totally no homo"

  
  
Bucky grins “See, I knew we were on the same page here, Sam”

  
  
It makes Sam snort in his drink, shaking his head in disbelief. He knows the long haired man would never admit anything unless he did it first. That was the state of their relationship, a chicken game.   
Still, they are close. Bucky’s metal arm spread behind him as if it could bring Sam even closer anytime.  
  
He couldn’t fully relax when the other man does that. Not because he believed he would hurt him but because his body anticipates a contact that just won’t come and always leaves him on edge.  
Truth to be told, he doesn’t even know if he wants Bucky to touch him. He doesn’t know what he would do if he did.  
  
His glass isn’t even on the table when he raises his other hand and catches his human fingers.  
It’s short, nothing more than two seconds before he lets go. At least, tries to, since his non-date catches his hand properly, intertwining their fingers.  
  
They stay like this for a few seconds before they start laughing nervously and separate, it doesn’t stop Sam to clap his hand on Bucky’s thighs, making his laugh die prematurely.

  
  
“I like this bar, even if the prices are way too high” he suddenly says, looking at the clients sitting a few tables in front of them.

  
  
“Maybe we should go somewhere else then” Sam proposes, noticing the stupidity of his proposition way too late.

  
  
His friend looks him in the eyes when with a warning “Don’t play that much Wilson”

  
  
He understands. He knows he does. Some things are just coming too easily when it comes to Bucky like making fun of him or flirting.  
  
When their relationship started to take this unexpected turn, at least for them, Sam didn't take long to play a bit more than he should have. Sam didn't mind since Bucky flirted with a lot of people, he couldn't have known that what "they had" was more special. What was supposed to be an innocent game change in something serious enough for them to see each other without Steve.  
  
The last thing Sam wants, now, is to look too closely at his feelings for Bucky, especially when his relationship with Steve is just as confusing. He knows Bucky is living something similar even if they don’t talk about it.   
  
They finishes their drink and leave. As usual after this kind of meeting, this kind of non-date, they look at each other as if ready to say something else then decide otherwise and part ways in silence.

* * *

  
  
It’s early morning when Sam gets a message for an Avengers mission.  
Now that it was his only job, he had found out how difficult it was to expect any sort of normalcy in his life but a call after seven am when he already got some coffee in him? And not a earth-saving crazy kind of mission on top of that?  
It must be a really good day.  
  
In twenty minutes, he is ready to join whoever has been called too in front of the meeting room mentioned in the message.  
Passing a small number of people working here, he has an easy resting smile on his face, which only gets bigger when he sees the big blonde-haired man against the door.

  
  
“Steve Rogers himself, glad to see that you’re still alive” he welcomes.

  
Steve rolls his eyes with a shy smile “We saw each other yesterday Sam”

  
  
“Yeah and you could have managed to do something foolish in the meantime. Who knows what kind of things you do after the missions?” he teases, taking Steve in a short embrace.

  
  
“Ha ha, very funny. You know you sound just like Bucky? Anyway, you seems happy this morning, I guess your “after mission” with him went well”

  
  
Sam pauses a moment, considering the words and the tone. He never tried to hide that when Bucky and him were on a mission together, they tend to go out once they are back but he never talked to Steve about any kind of feelings. He wonders if Steve is implying something here.

  
  
“The bar we went in is overpriced. You could have come too if you hadn’t been busy with Sharon”

  
  
“Testing new fields vehicles isn’t that fun Sam, believe me. I would rather be with you two you know?”

  
  
Sam makes a touched noise “Hanw buddy, what about tonight? Me and you and a nice movie? It’s been a while, I mean, if we don’t learn during this brief that we have to go in space or something”

  
  
Steve smiles “If we aren’t in space or somewhere far away then yeah”

  
  
Sam considers a moment to take the extra step and ask Steve on a date but the words refuses to get out of his throat. Maybe he’ll have an opportunity later. No, it’s not about having an opportunity as much as exposing himself and changing things between them.  
Even if Steve rejects him and tells him it’s okay and they can still be friends, how could it ever be the same when Steve would know that every touches and smiles they share could mean something different for Sam?  
Confessing to Steve is accepting to get more distant with him. He doesn’t like that.

  
  
Maria arrives exactly three minute before the meeting hour with Bucky and Natasha right behind.

  
  
“Hi guys. Let’s get inside” she greets.

  
  
The room is bland and a little small but they like it that way when they are a small group. Maria is quickly typing on her laptop.  
  
A North America map appears on the giant wall-screen with a dozen of red dots from Tampa to Richmond.

“Someone or something is waking up and controlling dead people. Each dot represent an incident, all in two weeks. Whatever this is, it’s moving north. The authorities has been warned and for now, the dead are not violent. If they are-fresh (she flinches at the word) they even retain their memories and their personalities” She changes from the map to some pictures, showing people in various states of deadness.

“Two days ago, someone woke up before his cremation Natasha provides. Sam remembers that it’s been three days since he last saw her. “I let you imagine how his family reacted” she finishes.

“We only have two violent incidents but it doesn’t mean that this is okay. So far, they only are up for twenty four hours but we don’t know if it’s because whatever is waking them up is moving or if this is the nature of the power used” Maria continues.

“No way to trace the energy used to wake the dead?” Sam asks.

Unfortunately, the answer is no, all they know is that it’s magic in nature but while waking up dead is problematic, without any motive or suspect, it is hard to plan the next step.

Since the pattern shows that the phenomenon is coming closer, they have to stay on alert in case another incident is reported.

They leave the room shortly after and Steve catches Sam as he walks out, Bucky and Natasha are already far.

“Hey, so what about that drink?”

Sam smiles, he doesn’t want to seems too eager but he quickly replies, “How can I say no to my dear Stevenito?”

Steve rolls his eyes fondly, pushing Sam in the direction of his room (apartment really) in the facility.

Sam loves to be around him. He could just stay next to him without saying anything just to enjoy his presence.

He tries not to look too much at him, gone take some beers for the two of them, and put on a TV show he doesn’t really know.

When he is back, Sam notices that Steve beer is different from the ones he usually buys and from the one he brought him. Of course, he wants to taste it.

“You’re not ready,” Steve says with a malicious grin and his Captain voice he sometimes uses for bad things.

“How can I not be ready for a beer?”

Steve pushes the colorful can and moves it away from Sam without taking it off the table itself. Sam grabs it and put it against his chest with a scowl.

Slowly, deliberately, he brings it to his lips, eyes on Steve the whole time. Steve doesn’t look away from him. He feels self-conscious, warmth in his face.

He lets the liquid pour in his mouth as he swallow and start coughing.

“What the hell is that?” He asks, tongue out of his mouth and giving back the can, making Steve almost roll out of the couch from laughing. “This isn’t funny Steve, this is bubbling coffee. The fuck?”

“I told you. I.told.you” he repeats half hiding his smile behind his hand.

“This is unholy. Like, you can invoke demon with this thing” Sam turns his face away from Steve, pouting. He remembers the last time he was out with Bucky and can’t help but smile at his own reaction.

The blond claps his shoulder “Come on, enough beer testing, let’s eat”

Sam doesn’t answer right away because Steve takes the can for himself and swallow a large gulp with a satisfactory sound.

The thirst is real in Sam and his imagination is working overtime.

He can’t move his eyes away, even when Steve’s blue ones turns to him, head still up to drink.

After a satisfied sound, “You okay?” He asks to Sam who nods, feeling hot and bothered.

He follow Steve and they start taking care of the food. He can’t bring himself to be useful right now.

He definitely check out the little muscled ass of his friend when he does his things. He wonders if they would be comfortable under his head.

"Sam? Earth to Sam"

"Yeah?" He answers dumbly, polite interrogation on his face, he smiles.

"Could you wash four tomatoes? You seemed lost in your thoughts tonight."

" _Thinking about your stupid butt"_ he wants to admit. Instead, he does what asked and prepares the tomatoes.

“You sure you okay? I mean, if you are bored-”

“No, no, I’m not” he laughs, “I can assure you I am exactly where I want to be,” he admits, turning away not to let Steve see his face.

After that, he lets Steve do his preparation with precision. He does add spices to the sauce and Sam is salivating already. It not enough to stop him from joking about it and Steve glares at him playfully “Yeah alright, back then, pepper was a luxury you know?” he says with exaggerated indignation. Sam still roast him a little but makes sure he knows it’s all in good spirit.

When Steve occasionally looks at him, he seems a little proud of himself and Sam wants nothing more than come behind him and kiss his neck.

And maybe somewhere else too.

It really doesn’t take all that long and Sam is a little disappointed to have the cooking part be finished so soon. It feels domestic, talking with Steve, setting the table, sitting in front of him-

He could confess here and now. The words aren’t getting out but he thinks about it loudly. Sometimes he is afraid Steve can tell and deliberately chose not to say anything.

The food is delicious. The pasta, even reheated, didn’t lose their flavour and the turkey is golden but the real star is the sauce and Sam moans with his mouth full.

“Steven Grant Rogers, how could you hide that talent?”

Steve is blushing “I only know how to make three dishes; this isn’t a thing to brag about”

“Seriously, can we marry? Just so I have an excuse to eat your cooking everyday”

Steve chuckles “This is kind of a weak reason to marry me don’t you think? Is it all that it takes?” He jokes.

“I can’t marry you for your attitude so I had to come with something. But seriously-” he takes another bite “this is the good stuff”

“Thank you” Steve answers almost as red as the tomato sauce.

Sam continues to praise his cooking so much that Steve has to ask him playfully to shut up. The man doesn’t like to be complimented and, for once, this isn’t about something enhanced by the serum. He even takes another portion, almost matching Steve appetite.

He feels a certain peace inside of him once finished. Steve seems content too, giving him a wink before starting to clean the table. Sam could scream his love.

Once everything is done, they go to the couch, looking at nothing specifically, letting the sounds and image wash over them.

Sam is used to try to act casual around Steve but somehow, tonight feels special. He slowly turns his head, taking in the face of his friend, of the man he is in love with.

“Steve, I-”

He almost jumps when the alarm of their phone rings at the same time.

* * *

Of course, they had to be send to investigate on the weird energy pic around the cemetery. The second they got the assignment, Bucky felt deep in his bones that they would find something unpleasant.  
If they couldn’t identify the energy with all the technology at their disposal and if the second they put a foot in there, fog started to appear, Bucky KNEW he should just let a big NOPE and leave without looking behind.

  
  
“Scared of ghost Barnes?” Natasha purrs with a smirk on her pale face.

  
  
Bucky trusts Natasha with his life. He knows her from before and from “before that” too. At the time, he didn’t fully understood what the Black Widow program was. What they were doing with these girls and women. He only was supposed to train them and did so with many candidates but Natasha always stood out. Death was her gift even when she was still fully alive.  
So of course, she is at ease with this type of environment while Bucky finds the whole “reanimated corpses” sort of morbid and that, even if he is friends with people who qualifies at that. Still, there’s a difference between being brought back to be used like a puppet and having what can be considered “a life” after having been dead. Zombies and Natasha were nothing alike.

  
  
“I just know I won’t like what is happening here. Nothing good can come from playing in a cemetery”

  
  
She is leading the way while he, riffle in hands, checks around. Bodies are missing from their resting places so they knew they have to be in the right place. They notices that not all the bodies are affected by whatever happened.

The place is oddly peaceful. Not because a cemetery is hardly a place with many things happening but because besides them, nothing is making any sound. He could see leaves being carried away by the soft wind but they were silent. No animals and no lights in the cemetery itself neither. Just them.  
  
A quick look to Natasha shows him that she must be thinking the same thing. She has two small guns ready as they are going through a denser and high as a wall fog, to find themselves near the extreme south of the place.   
  
A dark blue stone is floating in the middle of the area. It’s, apparently, the source of the fog and its pulsing a soft light with the same rhythm as a beating heart, casting blue shadows around.  
  
There’s no one as far as they can tell at first but Natasha takes a step closer and the pulse starts to get stronger and faster. It’s becoming easy to clearly distinguish something moving around them now.

  
  
“I knew it” Bucky complains, more ready than ever.

  
  
From the other side of the place, near the last line of crypts, people are coming through the fog.  
Before he can tell them to stop, nothing more than just a fair warning really, Natasha informs him that they are dead.  
Bucky has to squint; the only light is coming from the stone. Something is indeed weird with them, he finally notices. Maybe it’s the eyes, glossy and empty.  
Something is just not there.  
  
The closest walking dead has a dark line with dry blood around his neck. Since his white shirt is tainted, Bucky can see that he died recently.  
They all have something similar he notices once he knows what to look for. He isn’t surprised Natasha was faster than him to identify that.  
  
Being a vampire has its benefits he guesses. Bucky is fully aware of his biased view against them, and that, despite trusting and loving Natasha.  
He knows it’s only thanks to the special circumstances that brought them together years ago that he is as comfortable with her because the rest of his experiences with them has been really bad. To the point where he almost has a “shoot first ask questions later” policy when it comes to them.

  
“Sacrifice?” He suggests and she looks around them with a frown. Neither of them are all that versed in magic but the floating stone, the dead? Come on.

  
  
The fog stops suddenly and when it disappears entirely, they are surrounded by almost a hundred of dead people in various states of decomposition. They are all looking at them with a soft grunt, at least, the one who still got the opportunity to use their voices somehow.  
  
Bucky glances at Natasha but he isn’t really ready for the dead to start running to them.  
He doesn’t want to disrespect the bodies but there’s no way he would let them put their cold hand on him.  
  
He sees Natasha jump to the top of a crypt only to have some sort of net thrown at her. She would have dodged it if the tactics used wasn’t as good. The timing is impeccable and well thought to catch her when she isn’t able to dodge.  
Whoever is behind that is good, really good.  
He does try to get to her but several bodies are getting in his way purposely. Natasha calls his name one time before he stops hearing her voice.  
  
They are trying to slow him down and make a good job at it. They’re not even trying to really hit him but sure do grab his body to maintain him where he is.  
  
He has to fight to get free enough to see some of them starting to drag her away, having blocked all of her members one way or another.  
He notices that they are way too smart for dead people and he couldn’t help but be curious about how someone could control them all with that level of synchronization.  
  
When he finally manages to grab his weapon, he uses it on the stone, breaking it.  
He feels a buzzing pain as electricity runs through his body. “ _They are using weapons too now_?” he thinks angrily.  
Bucky turns to the responsible, he has a shield uniform and he can’t identify what could be the cause of death but he is as dead as the rest of the zombies. He moves with a surprisingly good agility and because the rest of the enemies are distracting Bucky, he is hit again.  
He groans before stopping to care about lacking respect to the dead and put them all to pieces.  
It takes him barely more than a minute to get rid of enough of them but Natasha is already nowhere to be found.


	2. Rescue mission

By the time the first support unit is there, the walking bodies stopped caring about Bucky entirely. Some of them even started to go back to their casket on their own.  
It was insane to witness and he already felt on edge because he had no idea where Natasha had been taken.  
The unit collects evidence and identifies the dead. Only a handful of them are still around, the energy animating them visibly dissipating as a dense fog, similar to the one generated by the stone, is leaving their cold bodies.  
  
He has called the facility with urgency fifteen minutes earlier, waiting for them to locate Natasha’s signal. They finally give him an address and inform him that reinforcement are coming his way in about ten minutes.  
He has to force himself to wait a little but feel better when he finally sees Sam and Steve arrive with another unit.  
  
The door of the van is barely open that he jumps in before they drive to the address.

  
  
“Her position is stabilized, we should be here in less than ten minutes. Why would they capture her then let you go without a care in the world?” Sam wonders as much to himself as to the others.

  
  
“Strange has been contacted about the stone, Wanda is checking with him,” Steve announces, ending the call he was on since Bucky came in. “You okay?” He asks.

  
  
“Yeah, they didn’t really fight, just did their best to prevent us from moving. They had a really good plan, whoever is behind knows how to use his head” Bucky answers, checking his weapons and getting more ammunition. He tries to appear level-headed but the frustration can be seen in his movements if anything. Sam has is back to him right now but Steve is looking at him directly.

  
  
The blond puts a reassuring hand on his shoulder while Sam is programming something in Redwing before opening a window to send him fly away.

  
“Okay we’re here. Is this the kind of people you were facing?” He asks showing a night vision video taken by his drone.

  
  
They are still in the city, in the middle of several commercial buildings. People are walking around unaware of what is happening. The traffic is less packed than in daytime but it’s only a little past ten pm and the city clearly doesn’t sleep that early.  
  
Redwing, in stealth mode, is flying around the building to look through the large windows. He spots something right on the second floor.

  
Steve takes a closer look “Can you go to the right a little?”

  
Sam adjusts the direction and Bucky frowns “those two, they are alive, unless the dead suddenly can talk too”. On the screen, they can see two women keeping an eye around, riffle on their back. They are the only one with visible weapons.

  
  
“How are we locating her?” Steve questions, already pulling plans after plans in his head.

  
  
They exchanges ideas with Bucky while Sam is now using a tablet to check if some of them would be as successful as they hoped for.  
Finally, he uses the mini bots in Redwing to attach them to the building.

  
“How can you always have a new function with your bird?” Bucky wonders curious, it’s the first time he sees Redwing do that.

  
  
“Always staying on top baby” Sam brags while the last of the flock positions itself.

  
  
Then the screen changes and a 3D representation of the building appears. The blueprint is superposed on it to mix the two visions.

  
  
“Well, the thermal vision is useless, they are all dead, even the one talking somehow” He fidgets with the cameras more before frowning “She’s on the roof- seems like they are going to throw her!” He almost screams, rushing outside and flying before Steve and Bucky could say anything. Both of them had “Wait” stuck in their mouth.  
They knew reasonably that Sam would fly faster on his own than by taking someone with him but it wasn’t reassuring all that much.

  
  
“Sam?” Steve calls in their earpiece.

  
  
“Engaging” he informs when he reaches the top of the building, a double kick makes two of whoever is here roll on the ground. His wings knock off a third and the last two shares a look of surprise.

  
  
“What the-” one of them, a middle age white woman starts to ask.

  
  
“Warn Frost!” The other one, a mixed older man orders her.

  
  
They both have an arm under the un-moving body of Natasha. Therefore, he uses that to attack the man, forcing him to let her quickly.  
  
The woman hisses and Sam notices her teeth. She lets Natasha fall on the ground to jump in the fight but Sam takes an enhanced jump with a perfect timing and she ends up running in her accomplice. With a looping, Sam uses a speed boost to kick the both of them out of the building, their scream soon nothing more than a memory.  
One of the dead on the floor is trying to move again so he takes Natasha against him and taps lightly on her cheek as he secures her to the flight.

  
“Nat’ you hear me?”

  
  
She moves a little and it’s enough for Sam to activate his wings, except he barely could leave the ground before he feels someone grab him to the point of hurting him.

  
  
“NATASHA!” He screams, as he loses his equilibrium. The body who jumped on them makes landing on the ground impossible.

  
When he notices that the zombie is trying to undo the securities he has no choice besides flying with the intruder first in a window.  
He barely could untie the securities himself before their bodies went rolling on a large desk, knocking everything in their passage before falling on the ground.  
  
They are not alone, he notices, they accidentally fell on someone who is quickly getting up.  
The woman is in her fifties with a form fitting black top and black everything else too now that Sam can look at her properly.  
Short hair, combat boots and a gun. Nice.  
  
She looks at Sam first then Natasha and finally the dead slowly moving up before producing a long dagger from her back, pointing it in Sam’s direction.  
  
Sam has troubles staying up, he blinks and his fingers are shaking.  
The rest of his body is hurting too and he feels lucky not to have break any bones with that stunt, at least none that he can find right now.  
  
Natasha from the other side of the room still isn’t moving.  
  
Whoever this person is, they can reach her before Sam can. He is unable to stop her from cutting her hand with the dagger and slap Natasha, waking her up suddenly.

  
  
“Kill him” the woman orders and Natasha turns to Sam, putting herself in a fighting stance. She has the mark of the woman’s hand on her cheek, glowing red.

  
  
“You got to be kidding me” Sam breathes.

  
  
Having to face a controlled Natasha on top of the zombie who jumped on them and the combat ready woman isn’t about to be fun.

  
  
“Cap, Wolfy, I got a situation here. A woman can control Natasha and I suppose, the zombies too,” he warns in his earpiece.

  
  
“Of course I can. Let me show you” she announces proud of herself before Natasha starts to get closer to Sam.

  
  
Sam grabs the chair next to him and charges Natasha, making sure to trap her between the legs then, before the woman can touch him with her dagger, he throw himself on the ground and activates Redwing’s flamethrower right above his head to stop the zombie to come closer.  
While it does start to take fire, it seems effective enough to breaks the woman concentration long enough for Sam to take the next step.  
  
He sees Natasha trying to hit Redwing with her electrical gloves, which gives him an idea.  
  
With a kick, he pushes the burning corpse on the mysterious woman who scream before trying to get out of the way.  
He runs to Natasha but she catches him. A punch in his face and a second in his torso. Each time he manages to get closer to his goal and by the third, he can take the glove for himself, pushing Redwing away and ordering him to fire on Natasha with some classics bullets.  
  
It’s not enough to do her real lasting harm but it gives him the break necessary to get closer to the woman who is ready to fire at him.  
He escape a bullet with a move that requires half skill and half luck before grabbing her and taking her gun down.  
She tries to attack with her dagger then and he blocks her arm right as the cold blade pierce his suite enough for him to feel it against his skin.

  
  
“RED” he shouts and the woman, believing that Redwing is coming stop looking at Sam for a second which he uses to kick her leg and take the blade out of surprise. Something jumps on his back and because of the momentum; he hit the woman with the blade in her torso as she gets up.  
  
He feels a sharp pain in his suddenly exposed neck and almost fall, eyes wide, he can’t make Natasha let him go, her teeth deep in his skin.

  
  
“No-” he breathes weakly, unable to move to let her go. 

  
  
He starts to cough loudly and suddenly Natasha falls on the ground, inanimate.   
“The floor is so dirty” he thinks as he finally gains back his ability to breathe, even if it's some black dust.  
  
His body is buzzing, vibrating even, and he can do nothing to prevent the tears for falling.

  
  
“SAM!” He finally hears in his earpiece.

  
  
His breathing is hard but after looking at the bodies still on the ground he answers “Coming” even if he doesn’t want to move at all.  
  
He wants to take the dagger and notices that the woman’s body disappeared, leaving only her clothes behind.

  
  
“What the hell was that?” He whispers to himself, getting the dagger inside a plastic bag and in the largest pocket of his suit.

  
He then turn to the burned zombie body to make sure it wouldn’t suddenly move again then comes to Natasha.  
He tries to wake her up without success.  
For the second time, he stripes her to allow them to fly away but this time, her back to him, just in case.  
  
Not that it would prevent her for killing him but at least, no more teeth.  
  
He feels like he has jelly legs and the effort to get out of the broken window makes him want to simply let himself fall on the ground.

  
  
“We have-to go-” Sam breathed. He barely can think about what is happening right now, they need to get out.

  
  
The flight is short.  
  
Bucky and Steve are facing a small group of dead people but what catches his eyes is the two men behind the enemies. One of them is hidden by a dark robe and has a hand high in the air with a stone floating above his palm. The stone is emitting a dark blue light.  
  
The other one is laughing and Sam knows he needs to attack them ASAP.  
Each time Bucky or Steve are aiming for the stone, a body would protect it, having nothing more to lose anyway. Then they would just crawl back to them.  
  
It’s a good defense mechanism he thinks, but it won’t stop them to deal with them and arrest whoever they are.  
He lands behind the building, putting Natasha unconscious body on the ground against a wall before going in the air once more.  
  
He isn’t dizzy anymore but he still feels weird, as if he might throw up at any given time.  
Far from feeling fancy enough to do any complicated figures, he flights behind the stone bearer and at the last minute put his feet first to kick him away. The stone goes rolling among the fighting group and Bucky uses his gun to destroy it. This time, the bodies all falls, lifeless.

  
  
“Who dares-“the other man starts angrily.  
When he notice that he is one against three, he takes a step back. He gets a talkie-walkie out of his pocket and loudly asks “Elly? Elly what the hell?”

  
  
“I hope you are not trying to call the chick I saw up there” Sam casually says, barely able to stay on his legs.  
At the face the man makes he knows he is right “She won’t be reachable anytime soon”.

  
  
The man seems furious, so Sam takes the time to look at him too. He’s a middle age white man with short grey hair. He really has nothing that distinctive but when Bucky jumps to attack him, he just floats away like a leaf moved by the wind.  
Bucky tries again, attacking in quick succession but the man’s body just floats away repeatedly while he laughs once again.  
  
The second one, a man apparently, joins him quickly with an interesting way of moving, his body seems to disappear in the ground with only his robe moving outside to indicate where he is. He is fast enough to catch with the floating man before Steve can stop him from doing so.  
  
Then they just start moving toward where Natasha has been hidden and Sam feels the need to go back to protect her.  
Instead of attacking them, he flies as fast as he can back to her.  
  
Only when he reaches the wall and assures himself that Natasha is still here, he allows himself to look behind him.  
He was sure that the men were there but this isn’t the case.

  
  
Sam can hear the worry when Steve asks “Sam you okay? What happened to Nat?”

  
Bucky tries to wake her without success like Sam before.

  
  
“I found her on the roof but things went sideways and she ended up behind used by a woman. I had to kill her but her body just disappeared when I was looking away” he informs “You’ll still find her clothes and the burned body of a zombie there”

  
  
“Okay, the cleaning team is coming. We got the fragments of the stone and a good look at the two guys” Bucky says “Let’s go”

  
  
Sam feels so tired he just gets in the van while Natasha’s body is restrained as she is about to be led directly into the medical bay.  
  
He should say something about the bite but can’t process what happened and how he can tell to his friends that he is about to die because of it.  



	3. The bite

Natasha wakes up the next morning. Her healing factor (and the well-known fact that she doesn’t like to be examined) made her been mostly left alone after a standard check-up post mission.   
  
After the Doctor Helen Cho has been informed of what happened during the mission and how the control seemed to be magic in nature, she told the team that Natasha should be okay. They still had some tests to do so they needed to keep her in the medical bay for the rest of the day. Bucky joins her around two in the afternoon.

  
“How you feelin’ sunshine?” He welcomes, giving her a thermos with synthetic blood inside.  
He knows Natasha hates it but it’s better than having to look for “fresh blood”.

She frowns, looking around her, then to Bucky and finally the thermos.

  
  
“What happened exactly?” She asks. “Last thing I remember from last night is those damn zombies trying to put their nasty net on me”

  
  
Bucky fills in the gap and explain to her that there is a group behind the awakened dead.

  
  
“Apparently, that guy’s name is Deacon Frost and he is working with necromancers“

  
She freezes, her eyes suddenly murderous “You sure it was Deacon Frost?”

  
  
“Positive” he nods “we had a confirmation during the night. You know him?” Bucky questions with interest “The name vaguely rings a bell but I wasn’t sure. There isn’t a lot of things on him”

  
  
“He was working on the Red Room program for a time. It was before you were brought in. He is a sadist obsessed with immortality. How is he still alive?”

  
“Well, I guess he found a way. I am almost certain he is a vampire now”

  
  
Natasha closes her eyes for a moment, trying to contain her frustration. If she was left alone with him even for five minutes, there was no way he didn’t do something to her. She wanted to run to find out what. The medical team may not have found anything unusual but maybe they weren’t looking for the right thing in the first place.

  
  
“So he captures me, you come basically an hour later and he just lets me go?”

  
  
“What do you think?” Knowing that Natasha’s instinct are more often than not accurate, Bucky wonders what she has in mind.

  
  
She stays silent, looking at the thermos before almost drinking it. She stops as it hits her lips.  
She can still taste blood on her tongue. She feels a little too well for someone who is supposed not to have drink anything for a few days.  
  
A terrible feeling starts to creep on her.

  
  
“Who was there yesterday? For the rescue mission”

  
  
Bucky answers her, relaxing because he thinks this is just a way of changing the subject. Natasha then asks him if someone was hurt and he finally explains, “Sam is the one who actually brought you. He said that he had to fight some zombies and one of the necromancer but he killed her”. Natasha notices the proud grin he wears announcing that. “He was the most hurt but when we got back he said he wanted to take a shower before doing his check up, so dunno”

  
  
Natasha knows the taste of blood after a few hours. She may not be a religious person but she still prays that the blood belongs to the necromancer somehow and not Sam because that would mean-  
  
She gets up, and quickly gets ready under Bucky’s questioning stare.  
Excusing herself, she grabs some clothes Bucky brought and walks quickly toward Sam’s apartment.  
  
She tries to call him on the phone without success before knocking on his door, once against, without response.  
She calls Steve trying to casually ask if he is with him but he hasn’t seen him today.  
It’s start to get harder to stay calm but she needs Sam to tell her that she bit the necromancer and not him.  
  
Natasha allows the day to pass and goes to Helen to do more tests, just in case Frost put something on, or worse, in her.

* * *

  
  
  
Sam feels heavy in his sleep. His conscience is somewhat alert so he tries to force himself to wake up but he only wakes up from a dream to another dream.  
He feels trap inside himself, without any possibility to end it.  
  
Somehow, he knows he should not still be sleeping. It’s not like he can feel the time pass but he is getting bad vibes despite the fact that the dreams aren’t nightmares, just some kind of infinite labyrinth.  
  
His salvation comes when someone starts to shake his body.

  
  
“Sam? Sam, wake up!”

  
  
He manages to groan, his arm moving in an incoherent gesture vaguely meaning that he is awake now.

  
  
“His body is cold guys, like weirdly cold” Steve comments.

  
  
He tries to open his eyes but there is too much light. His reflex is to cover them with his blanket but whoever is here is blocking him.

  
  
“Sam come on” Steve’s continues “were you sleeping all this time? Are you okay?”

  
  
“Sam!” Natasha orders, punching him in the shoulder.

  
  
“Ouch! What the hell!” He says finally snapping. His eyes are hurting him.

  
  
“Damn, did you smoke something? Your eyes are red” Bucky notices “Oh Sam, don’t tell me it was Clint’s weird plant?” 

  
  
Sam scowls but he doesn’t miss the judgmental look Steve sends in Bucky’s direction.

  
  
“No I didn’t smoke” he looks at the time briefly on his phone, a phone in airplane mode. It’s barely past seven. “Why, the fuck, are you all here that early? Can’t a guy just sleep after a rough night?”

  
  
“A rough night?” Bucky scoffs, suddenly looking around him “Did you spent the night with someone?” It’s almost an accusation in his mouth.

  
  
“We are sorry Sam” Steve says right after “we tried to call you all day but you didn’t answered. So-you were with someone?”

  
  
“No! What? All day? All night you mean?” Sam asks, confused and barely feeling better.

  
  
Bucky smirks and shakes his head ”Can’t believe we were worried because of that depraved guy. Tony Stark get out of that body”

  
  
Sam, just a tiny bit annoyed, takes his phone once again and look at the date.  
A full day has passed since he went to bed.  
He has no memory of waking up in the meantime. His eyes automatically look at Natasha and she is looking right back.

  
They don’t need to talk to know something is up.

  
  
“Sorry guys, guess I was more tired than I thought. I was, honestly, just sleeping”

  
  
Steve and Bucky look at each other’s in a silent conversation and nobody believes that Sam, fully human, can sleep more than thirty hours in one setting.

  
“You should go get checked, if only because of the injuries you had during the mission” Steve advice.  
An advice that sound suspiciously like an order.

  
  
“I’ll go with him, I have to see Helen anyway,” Natasha quickly proposes, already looking for clothes around them. Sam is a neat guy so she only has to open and take something from inside the closet “Come on Sam, go take a shower and let’s go”

  
  
“You sure you don’t need-”

  
  
“I got this Steve” she simply answers as Sam starts to sit and yawn.

  
  
“Take care of him, he looks like shit,” Bucky says without taking any gloves. He turns on his heels and gets out of the room then the apartment.  
Steve looks at Natasha and Sam, his eyes not hiding his suspicion before following his best friend.

  
  
Sam actually stops moving as soon as Steve is out of the room and he knows that Natasha and him are both waiting for Steve and Bucky to be out of the apartment before talking.

  
  
“Sam-”

  
  
“It wasn’t your fault”

  
  
Natasha feels her throat tighten to the point of almost hurting her. She closes her eyes for a while. When she opens them again, she has a hard time talking “I am sorry”.

  
  
The situation still seems somewhat unreal. He touches his neck, self-conscious, but there is no sign that he has been bitten. No proof.   
  
Natasha’s eyes are following him before realizing that there’s no trace of her teeth on him.

  
  
“What the-” Sam says to himself before getting up in a hurry to the large mirror on the closet door.  
He looks and looks again but nothing.

  
“Nat?”

  
  
“I-I don’t understand” she answers truthfully. She doesn’t dare to come closer, even looking at Sam’s neck seems obscene now.

  
“I bit you, I know I did”

  
  
Sam looks at his neck more, as if the marks would suddenly appears “Yeah-”

  
  
They stay like this for a few minutes before Natasha suggests that they actually do go get checked because this clearly isn’t normal.  
She tries to remain calm but the last thing she wants is to lose Sam. First of all because he is her friend and a very good one at that and second, she isn’t naive, what will the team say when they’ll know the truth? Because they will find out one day, she is sure of it.

Having to explain the situation to Helen is harder than they thought, having to convince her not to immediately warn the team is near impossible but her curiosity gets the best of her.

“You told us that your bite was specifically designed to kill in seventy two hours, more or less Natasha, that’s in your file. Sam really doesn’t have long before your venom takes over and then he dies. This isn’t the kind of thing you have the luxury to wait and see” she finally says after a rough conversation.

“We will, just- I just need to be sure, there’s not a trace anymore, you saw it”

Sam touches his neck again. Slowly, Natasha takes his hand in hers, at least partially to make him stop.

Helen sights, starts typing again on her computer.

“You do understand what everything here means right? Even if I never heard about vampire venom healing its host, you’re probably still dying”

“I know. I’m sorry”

Sam’s and Natasha phone starts vibrating and they have to go back on a mission. It couldn’t be happening at a worst time. They excuses themselves and leave quickly.

“Ma’am, please open the door, this is the Avengers, we’re here to help”

“No! You’re one of them, I can feel it. Fool me once, shame on me, fool me twice-“

Sam is baffled; he looks at Natasha hoping she has an idea.

The mission is to understand what Deacon Frost and his friends stole inside that elderly woman house. Steve and Bucky are trying to locate Deacon Frost but beside the occasional walking dead, they don’t have much of a lead.

“Miss Reuil, please, the people who stole from you are dangerous and we’re trying to stop them, we need to know what they took from you, this is extremely important” Natasha tries in turn.

She tries to be patient but today’s not the day.

There’s silence inside, then the door cracks open. Before either of them can move, the door opens totally as if pushed by the wind.

The woman is here, with what can only be described as a wand. A wand that has some sparkles at its tip.

“Freaking wand, now is not the time to be capricious,” she mutters, hitting it with her other hand until the tip start glowing.

“You’re a witch,” Natasha notices with apparent uneasiness.

“And you’re a vampire walking in broad daylight, are we going to keep pointing the obvious?” She bites, before turning to Sam, squinting her eyes at him “No”

Sam tries to keep an even face “No? What do you mean “No”?”

He is waiting for an answer and all he gets is a closed door right in front of their face. They need to talk to her but they also do not want to come across as harassing her.

They can’t let Deacon Frost with a potential powerful magical artifact, they need to know what it does and what it look like. What if he took something else?

After some insistence, they manage to convince her to hear them out but she is still eyeing them with distrust in her every moves.  
Since she was robbed not that long ago, it is understandable.

  
  
“Could you tell us more about the object they took from you?” Natasha questions.

  
  
“It’s a magic binder. With it, you can share your magic with someone or combine it to make it more powerful”

  
  
Sam speaks to Natasha “So it’s similar to the stone they had, according to Strange, but more powerful”. He turns to Miss Reuil again, “Why did you have this in the first place?”

  
  
“Excuse me” She scoffs “I have a business here. I need this kind of item and more often than not, I keep them away from that kind of- person,” she answers with obvious disgust, then look at Sam directly “I would never have given it to people like you willingly”

  
  
Sam takes the time to breathe deeply before his next words “People like me?”

  
  
“People who verse in dark arts, in necromancy, soldiers of demons-”

  
  
Natasha and Sam look at each other. At least, she doesn’t seems to be racist.

  
  
“Madam, I am not a necromancer, I can’t even do magic and I have no- what?”

  
  
“You are either a liar or stupid. Which one is it?” she asks very seriously. “I can see your aura and it looks like death. At least, like you’re playing with it”

Sam is not amused and he isn’t here to talk about himself, let alone being insulted. He hopes they can go back on tracks instead of saying nonsense.   
“Well, we’ll know soon enough” she concludes with a satisfied grin.

  
  
“Do you have an image or something to help us identify the stolen object?” Natasha continues then, trying to go back to the real matter at hands.

  
  
She is the one finishing getting the information they need. While they do have what they hope would be an accurate description, the witch refuses to tell them how it works. It’s better than nothing but neither Natasha nor Sam likes to go in battle with a wild card like this. It vaguely looks like a big Q-tip so at least, it’s recognizable.  
  
Sharing, buffing or combining powers are extremely useful skills on their own but to think that an abject could do all three was crazy to Sam. No wonder why Deacon Frost would be after such an artifact, even if they know nothing about his actual plan. He still finds suspect the fact that she was in possession of it. What kind of things could you find in her “shop”?

  
He can’t help but talk about the witch as they’re heading back to the facility.

  
  
“She was so out of line sometimes. I know we have to respect our elders but she was making it really difficult” Sam comments.

  
  
Natasha is the one actually driving and she stays silent for the first ten minutes before she finally asks, “Do you think her talking about your death aura meant the bite or something else?”

  
  
Sam shrugs. “I have no idea. It could be” he dismisses. He doesn’t care all that much about what that old lady had to say about his “aura”

  
  
The radio is playing at a low volume. Filling the silence between them.  
“What’s the plan Sam? We have to tell them”

  
  
He touches his neck by reflex but there is still nothing to feel here.   
“I have some last things to handle with the lawyer and I’m planning to talk to them both. Alone”

  
  
“No”

  
  
“Yes. I’m sorry but I want to do it on my terms. Besides, there’s things I need to discuss with them, privately”

  
  
Sam tries to be firm and he is actually proud of himself. If he has to tell what he needs to tell to both Steve and Bucky at the same time, he can’t do it with Natasha here. He adores her, but some matters are private.

  
  
He knows she’s at least a little bit annoyed by that when she replies “You’re right, I guess now would be the time to clarify what’s going on between all three of you”

  
  
Sam barely stop the “What do you mean?” question from leaving his mouth.  
This is exactly what he is planning to do. And that, even if he isn’t sure himself of the answer.

  
  
“Nothing better than having that discussion right before dropping a “Well, it doesn’t matter since I’ll be dead soon anyway”. A great way to end your conversation” he jokes.

  
  
He can tell she feels guilty from laughing.

“Maybe she could help” she proposes more seriously.

He considers it “I don’t know-“

“Sam, you can’t just give up. We have to find a way to stop that. We can’t just-wait!”

He assures her that he knows, that he understands, that he just need to process it. He will ask Miss Reuil her help, he will go to Dr Strange, he will do- something. She doesn’t seems all that reassured but it’s the best he can’t do right now.  


  
Just in case, he starts by seeing his lawyer, well, one of The Avengers’ lawyer. It is quick but since Fury and Tony were involved in its implementation, it isn’t surprising that the legal aspect of everything would be tight and efficient.

He does contact Strange, talking about "a friend" that had been bitten. The replies comes quick “The bite is magical is nature, yes, but it’s the kind of curse you can’t simply lift. The soul is marked as much as the body”

It’s still hard to hear so he ends the call after that.

He almost doesn’t call Miss Reuil about it. She isn’t exactly prone to help but he uses the case of vampires working with Frost to talk about them. He learns a lot of thing about them, like the fact that vampires, as un-dead, tends to hates necromancers, people who can manipulate them. He manages to ask about the bite in a way he hopes isn’t too direct.

“If there’s a way to stop the venom, I don’t know it” she says without detour.

And that was that on his tentative to save himself. He didn’t believe in a way to save himself but it was still disappointing and tears inducing to him to hear that not from only one but two people.

* * *

  
  
He is back to his program and invites Steve and Bucky over diner and they both accept but Bucky warns that he will be late and not to wait for him.

  
He tries to look his best, there is no way he won’t try to impress them. If it’s achieved by taking a bubble bath in the black and white bathtub he never used until now and throw one (or two) of these bath bomb, so be it. His skin his silky smooth and moisturized after that, and in the final hour waiting for Steve, he needs to choose the perfect outfit.

Everyone has those clothes they buy thinking, “I don’t know when I’ll have the occasion to wear it, but you better watch out”. The kind of clothes that stay sleeping in a corner of your closet? Yeah, this is what he is going to wear.

He has an underwear that makes him feels like a porn actor and it’s a good thing he doesn’t has to show it in public because he doesn’t know if he can assume the transparent parts. The fabric is so soft he has to actually think about stopping to rub his own ass.

The shirt isn’t better. Fit, with metallic blue floral patterns and black lace. His nipples are definitely saying hello to the world. Good lord, they can’t bury him in that, it would be best suited to his wedding night than to announces his incoming death but, oh well. He thinks that a black jean would be enough at that point but his eyes catches another black pants and he bites his lips. He is going to be so extra- Yes, the trouser are black, but with big blacker floral flocking too.

He is so lucky to be able to put them on after owning them for over a year; he can’t help but look at himself in the mirror. He feels sad about waiting to put them on, he looks dashing. Well, he will take every bit of self-assurance he can tonight because it ain’t going to be very fun after all.  
  
He has no intention to attempt to cook now, not with the clothes he is wearing, too risky.  
The only part that isn’t screaming “too much” is allowing himself to keep his slippers. After all, they will be in his place in the facility, so why would he put shoes on?   
  
While he does know how he is going to handle Steve and Bucky, he has no idea what he will say to his family or the rest of the team after that. Should he even say something at all to his mom? Should he just warn someone to say he died on a mission?  
  
His hand is shaking on the chair he is leaning on and he is glad the bell rings to announce that Steve is here.  
He takes a deep breath, makes sure his face isn’t betraying his troubles and opens the door.  
  
Steve looks a little shy with his combed hair and shaven beard before looking fully at what Sam is wearing. His mouth opens, his eyes blinks several times and he looks at himself self-consciously.

  
  
“Should I get dressed? Are we going somewhere?”

His face is red and Sam notices how much his eyes are travelling on him. So much that Steve is closing his fist next to him in a very nervous gesture.

He is proud of his effect.

The thing is, either Steve is effortlessly flirty without meaning it and clueless about it, which is conceivable because it’s Steve, or there’s something between them beyond friendship and Steve is scared to go further.

Sam hates himself for trying to finding out now but decides to act a bit recklessly by showcasing his shirt even more “What do you think?”, he takes a corner of it to show him “wanna touch?”

Steve swallows before approaching his hand as if the shirt was a dangerous and untamed animal.

“It’s beautiful. I mean- the rest too. You- It’s, it’s good on you. Where- Uh, it’s see through. Do you know it’s see- Uh, it’s- well”.

Sam laughs, “Decided to try something a little bit special tonight”. The laugh dies when he remembers exactly why but he follows “Come in, Rogers” with a smile, briefly hugging Steve in passing. “What do you want to drink?”

  
  
Steve answers easily, taking off his shoes and vest “I’ll take the same as you”

  
  
Sam gets two small glasses half filled with a clear liquid. He gives one to Steve who sniffs it.

  
  
“That’s one powerful earthy sent, what is this exactly?”

  
  
Sam grins before clicking their glasses “Mezcal, Clint brought some last time”

  
  
“I don’t know if I want to drink something Clint put his hands on. His tastes are out of control”  
He still take it at the same time as Sam and shakes his head. “Sweet Jesus, is that what the necromancers are using to wake up the dead?”

  
  
Damn, he is going to miss him. Even if Steve isn’t the one to actually die, Sam is sure of it, he is going to miss Steve.

  
  
“You told me Bucky is coming right?”

  
Sam catches him looking at the way he is dressed again. “Yeah, he warned me he would be late earlier”

  
  
“Okay”

  
  
Sam tries to get him distracted and start talking about nothing and everything as usual. It works. Steve is less tense, even if not totally relaxed.

  
  
“So, have you thought about Rhodes proposition?”

  
  
Sam had totally forgotten about that. Rhodes wants to have a team ready to handle alien’s matters on Hearth. A team more government oriented. Since both he and Sam has a military background, he hopes Sam would be his second.  
Two weeks ago, Rhodes came in the facility and made his proposition to him in front of Steve, Natasha and Wanda.  
Naturally, Sam had say that he would think about it. Steve did not seemed very thrilled, Bucky just said “whatever” and left it at that.

  
  
“I won’t do it, I can’t count on Bucky’s only to keep your ass in line”

  
  
His joke falls flat and Steve seems lost in his thought temporarily.

  
  
“Don’t make that decision because of me Sam”

  
  
It does make him smile “I think you’re a good enough reason. I like to be around you guys-“

  
He sights, gets up to walk behind him, still sitting on the couch.  
After having put his hands on Steve’s muscular shoulder and started massaging them he complains “Do you have so be so tense? You’re stressing me out, man”

  
  
“Sorry, okay, relax, relax-“he whispers the end to himself, shaking his head a little.

  
  
Steve does try to let loose a bit and with Sam’s help, he starts to be less wooden. He puts his head to the back of the couch so he can look at Sam’s face through half-closed eyelids.  
There is a quick eyebrow raise and the beginning of a smile.

“S’nice” he confesses.

  
  
Sam forgets.  
  
He forgets everything and goes for the kiss.  
  
Sam can’t believe Steve isn’t trying to break it. No, he kisses him back. He really is.

His lips are soft against his. One of his hand comes touching his cheek. He wants Sam to stay exactly where he is and he wants him to continue.

Sam choose to break it first. There is a floating moment between them, asking silent questions, trying to know if it’s okay. He has no idea what he would do if Steve regrets it.  
When Steve smiles, a bit shy, his relief is immediate. He sees Steve moves fast to be kneeling on the couch instead of sitting and he grabs him to kiss again.

  
  
“Bucky isn’t supposed to come right?” Steve asks with a grin, thinking that it was all an elaborate plan.

  
  
“I swear, look!”

  
  
Sam turns to take his phone and he feels Steve hand poke his ass.  
When he turns with a questioning stare, Steve, face all red starts to excuse himself “Sorry, is this okay? I don’t-“

  
  
“Yeah, Steve, it’s okay, if you want to”

  
Another smile and he actually starts looking for his phone when both his, on the table, and Steve’s, in his pocket, starts ringing.  
  
One glance and they are back to Avenging business.

  
  
“Shit” Sam curses before starting to undo his shirt then his too tight trousers. “Fuck, Steve I-“

  
  
“’Got you”

  
  
Steve pushes him on the couch, grabs the pants and Sam start shimmying his way out of it, facing a laughing Steve.

  
  
“I never would have guessed I would take off your pants in such a situation”

“All I got from this is that you thought about undressing me Steve” He breathes, making them both pause. Steve looks away, blushing. “Now is not the time to look cute you idiot” Sam laugh, not better really.

“So, you think I’m cute?”

Sam rolls his eyes, trying to stop smiling. He can’t let that much happiness live right now. This isn’t what he is supposed to do.  
  
Finally free, he takes his pants from Steve’s hands and he immediately tries to cover his eyes with them. A real gentleman.

  
  
“I put that underwear for the occasion so you might as well look at it. Dunno when it will see the light again” Sam teases before walking with assurance to his room to get his suit on.  
He turns right before stepping inside to see if Steve is indeed looking.

  
  
He is (and his hands are fronting his crotch region instead of his eyes).

_Well done Sam. You're screwed._


	4. Heartbeat

Sam may have forgot for a few moment that he was supposed to tell Steve and Bucky about his “problem” but reality hit him fast as they were walking in the jet direction. Worse, Natasha gives him an explicit look of disappointment when she understands that Sam did not say anything. 

It’s even more apparent with Steve apparent good mood and easy talk. Natasha rolls her eyes when Steve tells to Clint, the last member of the squad “Clint, tell me the truth, the mezcal you bought Sam, did you put something in it?”

  
  
Clint is honestly offended by that question “No I didn’t! Come on, it comes from a small family near Oaxaca, do you even know how much it cost? You can’t appreciate the art in this beverage Steve”

  
  
Sam sees the exact moment Natasha considers Steve and Clint distracted enough to come ask the question she needs an answer to.Of course, not avoiding the subject at all, he says loudly “We’re coming. Stop fighting, children”

  
  
“You’re not my real dad” Clint answers with a smile before sitting to get ready for the landing.

“You think you’re smart, right?” Natasha whispers in his ears.

It makes him shivers. She has that ability to make you feel like your body was covered in tiny spiders crawling on your skin that he hates. He hates it even more that she can do exactly that if she really wants to.

  
  
Heavenly Farms Park isn’t exactly jet-landing friendly, but Sam thinks that they managed to be fairly discreet considering that there’s an American football field not that far from them.  
  
Sam should have known that Bucky was on a mission. He felt a bit stupid for only learning about this when he got the alert.

"White Wolf" kept providing them information during the flight so they now knew that Deacon and his band were raising not only a small army of dead but were also working with vampires. Maybe they were controlling them the same way they controlled Natasha.

  
  
“There’s three necromancers, calling the dead from a radius large enough to draw from the cities nearby. They took at least ten civilians; status still alive five minutes ago. Nat?” Bucky informs from his spot in a tree near the mansion used as a base by the enemy.

  
  
“I am ready this time” she answers without saying how exactly she is planning to not be controlled again.

  
  
He really hopes she knows what she’s doing because having to fight three necromancers is hard enough without having to add someone as dangerous as her. If he has to deck her to stop her from biting someone else, he will. With all of his love, of course.

  
  
Once again, he uses Redwing to snoop around. One thing catches his eyes “What is that? On that person’s body?”

  
  
He shows the image to his teammates, focusing on one of the dead with some sorts of thorns or protuberances on his body. They seemed made from the same mineral as the glowing stone the necromancers possessed earlier before being destroyed. Did they have more?

  
  
“This is the shoot first, ask question later” Bucky indicates in the com’.

  
  
“Our mission is to capture Deacon and his friends, alive if we can, but I want you all to be careful,” Steve announces. “I know this isn’t ethical but most of our enemies here are already dead so I need you all to stay alive and not, you know- be too polite”

  
  
“What an insensitive thing to say to Natasha” Clint jokes, earning him a slap on the head by the vampire.  
He just grins at her and walk quickly toward the mansion. Steve wouldn’t admit it, but he thinks that it was actually a nice joke.

It’s only the two of them inside the jet right now and Steve turns to Sam briefly “I’m glad you invited me tonight you know?”

Sam bites his lips, trying not to giggle like a teenager seeing a side-boob for the first time “Head on the mission Rogers, if you catch Frost, maybe we’ll debrief together”, adding a wink for the measure.

“Ohh, sexy paperwork, you get me”

Sam can’t conceal his smile for a few seconds before letting it all fade in the back of his mind to focus on the mission.  
  
They all know it’s a trap. They are using innocent people to force them inside. Sam goes with Clint on the fourth and final floor of the mansion, landing on one of the three large balconies.  
  
Picking up the lock of the sliding glass door is easy to Clint but coming inside discreetly with two zombies and a civilian already there is another thing. The bad surprise is that the civilian stays put approximately twenty seconds before they turn to face them.  
She has two small thorns on her face and glassy eyes. Her fingertips are crystallized in razor sharp looking claws.  
  
If the zombies aren’t exactly skilled fighters, the one with the thorns and the vampire are on another level, posing a true threat.

  
  
“We have to separate the necromancers from each other” they hear Natasha say. “One of them must have the artifact. We better have it intact because the witch will charge us otherwise and let me tell you, it's not cheap”

  
  
“Copy that” Bucky and Clint answers.

  
  
They can hear distantly the others fighting somewhere else in the vast habitation.

  
  
“Something’s wrong” Sam notices when he sees one of the regular zombie develop thorns over a minute and pack a more powerful punch.

  
  
They are almost positive there is no more alive civilians in here but they still have to stop Deacon and the others.

  
  
“Found them, there’s a hidden door in the kitchen,” Steve warns.

  
  
“Here in one” Natasha answers.

  
  
“Two” Clint and Sam says, rushing to check the blueprint of the mansion and join the kitchen two floors below.

Bucky warns “Don’t go in there alone Stevie”, before cursing, “Shit, there’s more vampires”.

They can hear the sound of multiples guns firing and by the time they arrive in the kitchen, Natasha and Steve waiting for them already, Bucky joins too with some blood on him. It’s not his if his smile is anything to go by.

The door was hidden behind a very large fridge moved by Steve. There's narrow steps going downward. The stairway is a nightmare and they all breathe better once they reach an empty but large room.

There’s one light on the two walls siding the rectangular place. Facing them, a large glass with no door distinguishable. Behind it, the three necromancers, sitting in a triangle with the artifact in the middle, posed on what looks like a silver plate.  
  
The magical object itself seem to have been accurately described by the witch. The silver of the stick is shining and on each side, what looks like a mix of wool, hair and smoke. Next to them, Deacon Frost, looking rather happy.

  
  
“We were expecting you. Well team, we only need The Widow alive. You can do whatever you want with the others, but make it quick”

  
  
“The Falcon is mine! I’ll make him a sweet little bird before eating his soul” One of the necromancers says with determination. Sam has no idea why that one is specifically after him but he will make her regret anyway.

  
  
“Yes, yes, we know, gosh, when you have something in your head- Anyway, remember, alive” Deacon orders his minions.

  
  
As one person, they get up before pointing their hands toward the top of the room. A loud sound resonates and the room starts to shake.

  
  
“I don’t like that” Clint comments.

  
  
Steve sends his shield against the glass but it just comes back in his hand, intact.

  
  
“Sorry Captain, this isn’t the kind of glass you can break that easily,” Deacon mocks. He seems amused by the tentative.

  
  
The ceiling is moving now and they start to see the problem, something is falling from above and that something is in fact people.  
Dead people are going to fall on them like the most morbid rain ever.

  
  
“Clint?” Steve simply says, not alarmed at all.

  
  
“On it”

  
  
Clint grabs one of his largest arrow and fires it right on the glass. It stays on with a suction noise but not much happens besides that.  
One of the necromancers laughs at him.

  
  
“You’ll have to do better if you want to come here,” he taunts with a guttural voice booming from where he stands.

  
  
Clint shrugs, until some villain; he doesn’t feel the need to air all of his plans when he thinks something is going to work.  
  
All Sam knows is that one of Clint‘s hand is behind him and signing them that they have to wait a minute before they’ll be able to break the glass.  
In the meantime, they have to take care of the zombies and vampires falling from the ceiling. Two of them in particular provokes a reaction in Natasha.

  
  
“Oh no, what did they do to you”

  
  
“Who’s that?” Bucky asks, weapons ready to shoot them quickly.

  
  
With glee, Deacon Frost decides to give some explanation from the other side of the room “I believe you already met our friends? They weren’t deemed worthy enough to the program, thanks to you. Well, I'm not a genius for nothing so I helped them”

  
  
The two women looks older than Natasha does by maybe a decade and doesn’t hide that they are vampires. The difference is that they seems to be here willingly because all three of them starts to talk in Russian and while Sam is no expert in the language he knows enough to understand that Natasha is going to kill them.  
  
Clint taps Sam discreetly and point to the glass.  
“Redwing can still produce a sonic wave right?”

  
  
_Oh_  
_It’s going to be fun_.  
  
Sam sends Redwing above the zombies and uses a high frequency blast right where the arrow is still lodged.  
  
One, two, three, the glass shatters and Deacon stop smiling.

  
  
“Get our investment back,” he orders much more seriously and suddenly, there no more light in the room.

  
  
Everything turns to chaos.  
The zombies are attacking, Natasha fights the two vampire women and one of the necromancers appears just in front of Sam, a young woman with dark skin and fury on her face.

  
  
“That’s for her!” She screams as she tries to plant her dagger in him.

  
  
He avoids it but it was not that far away.  
  
Clint’s tries to stop as many zombies as he can while Bucky goes for the other necromancers.  
Steve quickly jumps toward Deacon, avoiding the zombie rain who only starts to dry down.  
  
The woman he is fighting is fierce and she manages to put her hand on his face like the other one did on Natasha. For a second he fears he is going to be controlled too but nothing happens, to her own surprise. He kicks her and she hits one of the two vampire Natasha is against. It’s the perfect distraction, avoiding at the last second a bullet meant for her head who then finds a home in one of the vampire right behind her. If If was not enough, one of Clint’s arrow comes through her neck a second after. She falls on the ground without moving.  
  
Sam tries to stop the zombies who can fire guns in priority but is hit by someone else and he rolls on the ground before a group of them manage to attack him at the same time. Opening his wings and simultaneously jumping while turning on himself, he gets rid of them and actually, fed up, uses his sharp wing to, well, make sure they aren’t in any capacity of walking again.  
  
The necromancer he was fighting earlier is still after him and the time he left her alone, she was invoking something that looked like a golem made of bones. She doesn’t seems to have a lot of control on it since it attacks everything in his path but it manage to punch Bucky away.  
  
From a corner of his eye, he sees Clint jump from nowhere on the creature’s back while the third necromancer has a hard time coordinating his attacks with the surviving vampire against Natasha resulting in a mess.  
  
Of the three, he is definitely the less experienced in battle.

  
  
“STEVE!!” Bucky shouts.

  
  
Sam doesn’t locate him right away but when he does, it’s already too late.  
Steve has one hand against Deacon throat, the other preventing him to fire his gun thanks to his shield. It was letting his whole back exposed and the closest necromancer did see that as an opportunity to plant his own dagger in Steve.  
He grunts but then there’s silence from his part of the room before Deacon announce, triumphant “One down, three to go”

  
Sam doesn’t understand right away and he flies toward them, hitting Deacon with a knee in the head before grabbing the necromancer to punch and kick him away.

The shield falls on the floor.

  
  
“Steve, are you al-“the questions dies in his throat as Steve is trying to snap it in half.  
Sam barely manage to hold his fingers enough to not be killed. He has now two thorns on the back of his head, crystallized fingers and eyes like covered in thin ice.

  
  
He owns his liberation to Bucky, decking Steve away and rolling with him on the glass shards.

  
  
“Someone take that bloody wand!” Bucky curses while exchanging blows with Steve.

  
  
Sam tries not to let the panic starting to creep in his mind get the best of him. He decides to hit Deacon in retaliation but fail the first time, however, using his wing allows him to cut his tight and triggering Redwing’s flamethrower finally gave him the opportunity to have one direct hit.  
  
Deacon is screaming but as Sam goes in for the final blow, a shadow grabs him by the ankle and drags him away.  
  
The necromancer who transformed Steve.  
  
It was a mistake.  
  
Sam uses his pack to escape, does a looping to avoid someone else and flies directly in the dead whisperer until his body hits the wall first, hard.  
  
If he kills him, Steve will be back to normal, like with Natasha he thinks.  
He feels a piercing pain in his hip, the woman after him managed to plant her fucking dagger in him too, like they did with Steve.

  
  
“That’s for her!” She says with determination.

  
  
With a single movement, he smack her with a wing so that she, once again, is sent away.

  
  
He takes the dagger out, knowing that he should stop the bleeding in priority and that this is not the most intelligent thing to do right now. He warns “You shouldn’t have touched Steve” before planting the dagger in the necromancer chest.  
He sure does hear the other two screaming about it but Sam doesn’t care, he make sure the guy is dead.

  
  
He turns to assess the situation but his throat starts to burn him and he feels like he is breathing ashes. One of the zombie hits him but he doesn’t register the pain. His whole body is uncontrollable; contracting itself as if electricity was running through it. This is what is hurting him. On the side, he sees Steve’s body fall on the ground.

  
  
“Lucinda, retreat! It’s too late for them” Deacon shouts and it’s all he can register for a terribly long thirty seconds.

His body finally let the last spasm go and he can start to move again.

  
  
“Sam-“

  
  
It’s Clint, helping him get up, the witch’s possession in one hand. There’s a lot of body on the ground. No trace of Deacon and the woman. Natasha is carrying the unconscious or dead inexperienced necromancer and Bucky is near Steve.  
  
Sam tries to walk toward them but Clint stops him.

  
  
“Sam-“ he repeats

  
  
“No-No, no, Steve I have to-“

  
  
He pushes him, walking with as much grace as if he was dead drunk but manage to bring himself near the two men.  
  
He looks at Steve and the signs of control are definitely receding but Steve isn’t moving.  
  
Sam looks for a pulse and there is none.  
  
He starts to do everything to make the heart go again. He has to hit Bucky away a few time when he hears “It’s over”, the words chocked the first time and the second when Bucky puts his hand on him to make him stop.

  
  
“ **NO ITS NOT** ” and he carries on, he will make this heart go again even if he has to plug Steve on a nuclear reactor.

  
  
“Sam!” Natasha calls with her most commending voice.

  
  
“He isn’t dead! We need to bring him to Helen, now”  
Sam tries to get his phone out of his pocket but his hands don’t want to cooperate, making it fall on the ground “Shit”. He knows he isn’t okay, he knows he is useless now “Please, we have to-“

  
  
Bucky gives him back his phone then grabs Steve body in his arms.  
“Can you walk?”

  
  
“Of course I can!” Sam answers defensively and maybe it would have been more convincing if he wasn’t trying to do it for the last fifty seconds but he manages.

  
  
“I’ll lead the way out” Clint says, arrows ready.

  
  
Natasha and the necromancer are behind, then Sam and finally Bucky.  
  
The stairway could be the death of Sam, his legs can’t take no more and he has to focus his mind really hard on something else to manage the pain.  
  
On their way out they can see every bodies laying on the floor. Without any powers to animate them, they are just dead bodies. It’s horrifying and it’s even worse to walk among them while carrying one of their own.  
  
He doesn’t leave Steve’s body during the flight back and even tries again to make his heart starts to beat again the second he is left alone with him.  
  
The look Natasha gives him when she surprises him with his hands above Steve’s chest makes him stop but with the face of someone who only does something to appease you and will do the same thing the second you walk away.  
  
Knowing that she wants to talk, he excuses himself and go watch their prisoner. He wants to talk, yes, but not to her, not right now. He wants answers and a way to fix this mess.  
  
Locked in a small room, he only starts to wake up now.  
  
He has long brown and red hair and white skin with some freckles. He can’t be more than twenty five maybe. To think that this man can raise the dead, control them, and create golems-  
  
Their eyes meet and Sam feels like he could kill him right here and now. What they did to Steve is unforgivable.

  
  
“Unforgivable” he repeats to him this time.

  
  
“What are you? What did you do to him?” He asks with fear. He tries to have Sam as far as he can in this small place.

  
  
Sam has no idea what this man is talking about, what he does know is that they have questions and he better have answers.

  
  
“Bring him back”

  
  
The man eyes are wide open “Who-“

  
  
“Captain America. Steve. Bring him back, now!”

  
  
“I-I can’t”

  
  
“Wrong answer” Sam says, coming closer to him and he seems so afraid it should rings an alarm in his head.

  
  
“I swear, I can’t, we can’t do that! Please, don’t destroy me”

  
  
Destroy. This is what makes Sam stop and take a step back. He hasn’t destroyed anything or anyone in here.  
The audacity.  
How is he the one afraid when they are the one who did all of this? That man is losing his damn mind. He will lose more than that if he doesn't start cooperating.  
  
Clint arrives right as Sam is about to continue the conversation, saying that they are landing soon.

  
  
Eyes to eyes, he says to the necromancer “This isn’t over” before leaving.

* * *

  
  
Steve is officially declared dead.  
Sam looks at the body on the medical bed. He looks fully human now, all trace of that perverse magic gone.  
Some people thinks that someone who is dead looks like they are sleeping peacefully. Sam saw what Steve looks like when he is sleeping without nightmares, it doesn’t look like that.  
  
He knows they are talking about what to do now, what to do with his body, with the mission and Sam doesn’t say a thing. His own body just moves out of the room without destination.

  
  
“Sam!” Natasha calls him.  
He doesn’t stop, he wants to get out of the medical bay, far from Steve’s cold body. It doesn’t stop her, and when she appears in front of him, blocking the passage, it’s with less restraint than she usually uses.  
“We need to talk”

  
  
“Actually-“ Helen interrupts, walking out from another room “-we do need to talk. The two of you, follow me please”

This is the last thing he needs but does he really has a choice?


	5. Don't let go

Sam follows Natasha without thinking much, he completely forgot about the whole bitten predicament. Even now, it almost concerns him like something happening to someone else. He simply can’t represent his body as something filled with some type of venom.  
  
Helen close the door behind them and goes to sit in front of her computer, waiting for the two to sit as well.  
She doesn’t look like she had a lot of sleep lately. Sam does feel sorry for her.

  
  
“I tried to contact the two of you earlier-“

  
  
“You know-“ Natasha cuts “now may not be the right time we just- Steve is-“ she takes a short breathe “dead”

  
  
Helen freezes for a second in her chair, her eyes looking at her screen. Slowly, her fingers start dancing on the navigation pad. Whatever she sees seems to confirm what Natasha just told and she looks at the two of them with gravity and sadness. She passes a hand on her mouth, her eyes and blinks.

  
  
“I cannot explain how sorry I am” she seems to debate if she has to follow with what she needed them to talk about and decides to proceed “I understand that now may not seem like the ideal moment but I need you to know the result of your analysis”

  
  
“Well, what can be worse?” Sam whispers to himself.

  
  
“Considering that no one would want a second death so close, I think you may want to listen”. Once she is sure they both are focused, she follows “Natasha, whatever they injected you altered your venom. At least, temporarily”

  
  
“How?”

  
  
“Well, they kind of neutralized it so you are able to sire instead of simply kill”

  
  
Natasha frowns “So Sam-“

  
  
“Well, that’s the tricky part. Your venom or a classic vampire bites still works the same way. They replace the body’s blood by the venom in one to three days. The difference is that your bite was made to be highly toxic instead of getting the body ready to be transformed”

  
  
Natasha looks at Sam trying to read an answer she is almost sure she already know.

  
“No” Sam says to the silent question.

  
“If there’s a chance-“

  
“Nat, first of all I don’t want to be a vampire, no offense but you are a rarity, even amongst them. You can do things they can’t. Moreover, considering what you told me about Frost, who knows if you can sire me and in what I’ll turn. Come on, you saw what he did. What they did”

  
“I can’t let you die”. She swallows with difficulty “You can’t ask me to let you die”

  
How can they have that conversation, now?

  
“I agree with Sam about not knowing if you can and what exactly Sam would be turn into” Helen concedes before adding “Sam, I need a blood sample”

  
He lets her get some before she cleans his cuts and makes sure there is no further injuries following the mission.  
  
Working on the sample, she inhales sharply, eyes on the microscope.  
Then, she registers some numbers in one of the computer programs, slides results here and there.

  
“As I thought, you should already be dead”

  
The news hit Sam in the back of his head and he looks at his hands, there was no answers there.  
  
Well. Awesome. Amazing. Perfect.

  
“Am I a zombie now?” He asks. He can feel his heart beating loudly so it could not be that, right?

  
Helen, once again, passes a hand on her tired eyes “To be honest. I am not sure. All I know is that somehow, you’re still sort of alive. Something must be preventing you from dying but since we don’t know what, we also can’t determine if it will last or not. Or what kind of side effect you could develop”

  
“Great” He gets up “I’m tired, I’ll go to sleep”  
He walks out of the room and feels relief for a single minute before realizing that if Natasha stayed there, she must have other questions for the Doctor.  
  
One thing is sure, he won’t allowed anybody to hijack his body and change him in God’s know what.  
  
He presses his forehead against a wall.  
“ _Don’t cry. This is not over. Not yet_ ”

  
He needs to find a way to bring Steve back. No matter what. He can’t let Steve like that. If he has to die, then so be it, but not him. If he keeps looking for a way to bring him back, it means that Steve isn’t “dead” yet.  
  
Sam walks to his apartment, despite being lost in his thoughts he notices the sitting man immediately.  
  
He doesn’t know what to think about that but the way Bucky looks at him hurts. He walks to him, stopping only when he is in front of his friend, almost between his legs.  
  
Eyes to eyes, he can’t find anything good to say. Instead, he quickly slaps his palm on the board.

  
  
“What the-“

  
  
The door slides open and Bucky, who had his back against it, falls to find himself lying.  
  
Sam walks past him and hear behind him “You asshole!” He shrugs, getting out of his suit as quickly as he can.

“Hey, I’m talking to you”

  
  
Sam ignores Bucky and turns to him only when he is in his boxers, pieces of his suit lying on the ground. Without a word, he walks into his bathroom. Bucky is quick to join him, apparently too angry to be stopped.

  
  
“It wasn’t an invitation” Sam feels the need to precise as he takes off his last piece of clothing before stepping in the Italian shower.

  
  
“Deal with it” Bucky bites as he steps in the shower too, just as naked as him.

“Jesus Christ, Bucky! What the fuck?”

They look at each other, anger bubbling under the surface. They can fight and maybe they need it.

Or they can let themselves not be alone right now.

  
The shower-head is strong but not adapted to wash two grown men so Sam switches to uses the showers over their head.  
  
He feels like he is under the rain and it almost makes the experience of getting zombies parts and blood away from him enjoyable.  
  
He stops looking at Bucky because of all the worst time to be naked in a shower with him, the night of Steve disappearance and his own possible death anytime is on top.

  
  
“I need shampoo”

  
  
“I don’t care”

  
  
“Wilson”

  
  
“I do not care” Sam repeats with his patience running low.  
It might be his fault if he feels Bucky right behind him, his body pressed against his as he tries to reach the bottle himself. It makes Sam warmer than the water and on edge.  
“Oh my god, Barnes! Geez”

  
  
Sam takes the bottle, squeezes a good amount in his hands, turns to look at Bucky’s face and his face only, before slapping his hands on his hair and make sure he is clean more roughly than necessary.  
  
Bucky has the good idea to look embarrassed by the situation. He deliberately avoids eyes contact too.  
  
If at first Sam hopes he’ll get soap in Bucky’s eyes for annoying him, his movements start to be more gentle to the point where Bucky is looking for his touch by small head movement.  
  
Sam takes a deep breath; put his forehead against Bucky’s, his hand still in his hair.

  
  
“Sorry”

  
  
“Don’t do anything stupid Wilson. I’m serious”

  
  
The statements makes Sam uneasy “Why would you say that?”

  
  
“My Spider sense is tingling”

  
  
“You’re not Peter”

  
  
“I have a “my friend is about to do something stupid” sense from the moment I met Steve. I know that attitude Sam. You’re bottling everything up”

  
  
Sam stops to massage Bucky’s scalp, his heart beating faster.

  
  
“Rinse yourself,” Sam says, having found no better reply.

Sometimes he forgets that Bucky knows him that well. He can’t have him dig too much or let him know how appropriate that statement actually is.  
  
He is the first to get out, tossing a towel to Bucky.  
  
The man follows him in his bedroom where he pushes into his hand some brief, a jogging and a large shirt.  
  
When they lay in the bed, he realizes this is the first time he actually is going to sleep with Bucky. Not in a “ _happens in a mission kind of way_ ”, which is odd.  
  
The light is turned off, Sam on his side, opposing Bucky.

  
A few minutes after, Bucky turns, shimmies his way behind Sam and spoons him in a fashion that Sam can only describes as aggressively.  
He wants to protest, makes Bucky go away but something in him just breaks and when he starts to feel Bucky’s breathe on his neck, he just can’t help but confess “I kissed him”

  
There a bit of tense silence between them “What?”

The feeling of the words against his skin makes him shiver. He hates himself for feeling this with Bucky, right now.

  
“Steve, before the mission. You were supposed to be here and I felt- I don’t know, I just thought that maybe-“ he feels ashamed somehow but he has to get this off his chest “So I kissed him. And now he’s dead. Bucky-I-I’m so sorry” he finishes, tears falling from his eyes.

  
  
“It’s okay Sam. Come on, sweetheart, listen to me. It’s okay to follow what makes you happy. It’s not your fault”

  
  
“Maybe it is! I thought it would have been like with Natasha. That if I killed the one who did that, he would go back to normal but instead he just-he just fell, and it’s unfair to you because of-of, what am I even doing?“

  
  
Bucky’s hold gets stronger and Sam knows he is crying too.  
“You couldn’t have known,” He affirms, then softly “we should get some sleep, okay? Go drink some water”

  
  
Sam feels stupid for agreeing but gets out of bed to wash his face, which makes him feel better.  
He does drink a big glass of water and when he comes back to his room, Bucky has his back to him.  
  
This time, he is the one snuggling him. Bucky grabs his hand to drop a light kiss on it. It’s so tender Sam feels like he doesn’t deserve it.

  
  
“We’re stronger together” Bucky says.

  
  
He wants to believe it so bad he just fall asleep while silently praying.

* * *

  
  
Waking up with Bucky is as weird as their last- let’s call it a date because at the end of the day, that’s what is was. A date.  
  
Now, far from anything remotely romantic, Sam opens his eyes with his head on Bucky’s pectoral and he is confused for a second before remembering everything. They may not have done anything besides sleeping and, well, cuddle, he feels guilty all the same.

He wants to move his head somewhere else but the sensation of his cheek against Bucky’s skin is weirdly conforming. It reminds him of the time he tried to take the super soldier’s hand in his. Except this time, he stays like that, listening to the soft breathing.  
  
“I have to bring back the artifact to the witch,” Sam says once Bucky is awake too, a gentle stroke of his back as an indication.  
  
“I’ll interrogate our prisoner. I have to ask Strange if he has anything that can maybe, I don’t know, mess with their magic or something”  
  
Sam sits on the bed, allows himself to put a hand on the paler cheek for a second. He has no idea what that look on his face means or what the long-haired man is thinking right now but Sam allows himself to tell himself that, yeah, Bucky is beautiful even in the morning. The bastard.

He shakes his head before moving on.  
  
Bucky leaves somewhat quickly but Sam doesn’t finds that weird. They both have things to do and they can’t exactly just enjoy each other presence as if everything was totally fine.

* * *

  
  
  
Natasha agrees to come with him see the witch. It’s not that he couldn’t go alone but he feels a little uneasy with the older woman. Besides, he doesn’t exactly trust her so if she does something she shouldn’t, at least one of them may be able to react before it turns bad.

She does ask him how he is holding up and he honestly says that right now, he is okay. Not because he feels happy but because he can’t let the world stop as it is. He doesn’t say that he can’t fail Steve, he isn’t sure how she would react if he said that he had no intention to let their friend in his current state. Especially when he, himself, has no intention to become a vampire if the choice even exist in the first place.  
  
He talks about how they have to arrest Frost and do it as soon as possible instead. Well, arrest, or kill. Because this is the least he deserves after what he has done. Go explain to the hundred dead people all around that their loved ones have been used as nothing more than cannon fodder.  
  
Miss Reuil isn’t at her home however, when they arrive. Her “shop” isn’t far at all so they walk there and Natasha touches her earrings when they have it in sight.

  
  
“There’s a lot of magic here” she warns.

  
  
Sam wonders if the earrings she is currently wearing are the reason she is able to tell.  
She did say that she was prepared not being manipulated again before the last fight after all. They look like two small golden daggers and he is almost certain he never saw them before.  
  
They walk carefully to the door and Sam has the feeling that something is indeed a bit weird here. From the exterior, it looks like a haberdashery, all in shades of white, baby blue and soft pink.  
When they push the door, it only still look like that until Miss Reuil turns to them, after that, the shop changes all around them to reveal something a bit more close to what a “witch shop” would look like in Sam mind. Except everything was neat and clean, and still in the same colors.  
The things you could find ranged from teas to wands and from foods to wool.

  
“Now Mister Wilson, how did you managed to have an even worse aura than the last time I saw you. If I wasn’t certain that you still have your soul, I could mistake you for a necromancer” she welcomes while taking a small bottle in one hand and putting a gun on the counter with the other.  
Here she is.

  
“We are here to bring you back your wand thing, but if you threaten me, we will have a problem,” Sam warns, analysing all the way he can get to her in that shop if needed.

  
“What do you mean exactly? About his aura. It’s bugging me since last time,” Natasha asks.

  
“She is saying nonsense, how would she know about my soul and my aura and shit? Come on ‘Tasha, let’s give her the wand and go”

  
“Nonsense? My eyes can see things blind people like you can’t”

  
“It’s glaucoma,” Sam snaps, too condescending.

  
She laughs even if she does seems insulted. She puts her bottle away then present her hand to Sam, palm open.

“What are you doing?” Natasha inquires, moving closer.

  
  
“Your friend here is doubting my powers so maybe we should go to the bottom of what is happening with him because that aura is nasty and if he is possessed or something, I’ll be happy to have new customers”

  
She doesn’t seems as much concerned as happy to sell something. Sam doesn’t trust her but they have found nothing bad about her while doing some researches.  
Natasha shrugs, she hasn’t talked to Sam about the two missing bodies he killed but she is wondering about if it was normal for a necromancer to die that way.  
  
Sam looks the exact same as any other day but she knows how normal looking things and people can be before revealing hidden abilities or true identities.  
  
What if he was manipulated since her rescue mission?  
  
At first, Sam gives the witch his hand and she closes her eyes, mumbling somethings they can’t understand. When she opens them, they are bright orange.  
She looks at Sam, uses her hand near his body without ever touch him really. She looks like she can see but also smell and even taste whatever she’s witnessing.

  
“Well, I wasn’t exactly wrong” she says more to herself than someone else. “Can I see your blood? Only one drop”

  
“Don’t try anything funky” Sam warns, once again presenting his hand. Why is he intrigued now?

  
She uses a needle she kept in a velvet pocket and poke enough to get just that one drop of blood.  
She wipes it on a clean tissue that she taps on her tongue and Sam can’t help but find that suspicious and make a face at his friend.  
  
Natasha seems to find the whole process fascinating.

  
  
“Uh-that’s-“ the witch turns to Natasha with a suspicious frown, making sign for her to give her hand too.

  
  
With the same needle she pokes Natasha and repeats the same thing she did with Sam.

  
  
“Isn’t that kind of dangerous?” Sam asks with barely concealed disgust.

  
  
“Not for someone like me” she answers vaguely before her eyes turns back to their usual brown color.  
“What exactly did you two do?”

  
  
She suddenly looks like a disappointed mother who caught her two dumb ass children in a bad situation.  
  
Sam isn’t sure revealing the recent events to a witch is exactly a wise move but Natasha shares it all, talking about Deacon Frost, the bite and the disappearing bodies.

  
  
“But you ain’t some basic vampire now dear are you? I can tell there’s still something human in you”

  
  
“I was engineered, not sired traditionally”

  
  
The witch nods before sighting.

  
  
“I am sorry Mister Wilson, it seems that you may really have no idea of what is happening to you”  
Sam stops the need to be petty and simply moves his head in agreement.  
“You, sir, were what we call a blank canvas. It means that you were a good candidate to have power manifesting but they weren’t defined yet”

  
  
She then explain that Sam caught some “death related powers” like someone catch the flu and considering his aura and the missing bodies, it was likely that he sort of absorbed the necromancers powers, destroying their bodies in the process.

  
“But I don’t have powers!” Sam says shocked. While it was some sort of open secret in his family that some might be “blessed” he never exhibited any signs. Only his mama seemed to have an exceptionally good instinct sometimes but, maybe because he was used to it, he would never have considered that as a power.

  
  
“Not now, but since you also were about to be transformed in a vampire, there’s some sort of weird mix going on with you boy. It shouldn’t work. I don’t know if it will, but it looks like a bomb ready to explode”

  
  
Natasha wonders if this is why he is able to stay alive. A theory Miss Reuil seems to share. When you had the fact that Helen did tell them earlier that something was preventing Sam from dying, they seems to finally better understand what is happening.

  
  
The first things Sam does with that idea is joking “Good thing I didn’t say goodbye to anyone yet, it would have been embarrassing, can you imagine?”

  
  
Natasha doesn’t finds that funny at all, especially since it doesn’t mean that he won’t die, just that they have even less ways to know for sure what to do to get him “normal” again.  
The spy lets them know about her doubts and interrogation about what a vampire with necromancer powers, and controlled by Frost could possibly do.

  
  
“Well, I said he would have death related powers, not that he would be a necromancer” Miss Reuil corrects, “You can’t be a necromancer unless you have a contract with a demon. They are the one giving you powers over the dead”

  
  
Sam blinks at the news, so on top of being bitten by a vampire, dying, maybe becoming something weirder than a vampire and being controlled, he almost had to care about how to handle a demon.  
  
Great. Perfect.  
  
It’s a bit too much for him so he tries to shorten the conversation as quickly and politely as he can, which still takes several long minutes.  
  
When he gets outside, he walk straight to the car, gets inside, drops his head against the wheel and tries to takes deep breathes.  
He hear Natasha come in but doesn’t move.

  
“We’ll figure something out, we have a lead now” is all she says during the trip back.

  
  
Whatever Frost did to Natasha is probably how she was able to bite him without her usual venom in the first place. Since Frost is one of the scientist working on the Widow program back in the day, Sam doesn’t have a lot of hope about anything tuning positively.

* * *

  
  
Back in the facility, he crosses path with Scott and Wanda in between missions. They already know for Steve.  
Wanda put a hand on his cheek, bringing their forehead together.  
She has a few words of encouragement and condolences. She too, is going to miss him dearly.  
There’s a moment of hesitation between Sam and Scott. Not because they aren’t close enough to have physical contact but because they hasn’t seen each other for a few months and it’s hard to see someone you appreciate only in the crisis.  
  
Sam makes a small movement to Scott who jumps in his arms “I’m so sorry buddy”. He gives great hugs, Sam notices but he mentally keeps his distances. He needs to do something, anything, and do it quick.

  
  
**Steve isn’t dead until he let’s go.**


	6. The plan

Sam is self-aware enough to know that he might be in denial and that in reality, there is probably nothing he can do. He is only moving air, screaming at the void to bring him back his friend, the man he loves.  
He still keeps a small seed of hope and he is going to shower it with everything he has.  
You won’t convince him that people can raise the dead, control them and not resurrect them.  
  
Wanda, Scott, Natasha, Bucky and Sam are reuniting to decide what to do about Steve body.  
While initially the consensus seemed to be to let Bucky choose whatever he thinks would be better, the second Sam hears that he wants to bury Steve in Brooklyn as soon as possible he tries to stop him.

  
  
“We can’t do that”

  
  
Bucky look as Sam with a polite interrogation on his face and his tongue laced with daggers.

  
  
“I don’t know about you but I can, and I will. Because this is what Steve wanted”

  
  
He tries to be as calm as he can, “Yes, and I hear you but, as I said, I just think that we can’t do it right now-“

  
  
“Sam, I swear, if you’re trying to do something shady-“ Bucky warns.

It makes Sam wonder if he is that transparent. Maybe he is, it could be Bucky's training to read people or it could be that he knows him a bit too much.

  
“I just think that with Deacon on the loose, letting Steve’s body out of sight doesn’t seem like the best idea. We catch the guy and as soon as we’re sure that everything is cleared, we do what you say”

  
  
If the others are careful not to put themselves in the middle of it, Sam knows that his argument makes sense. He sees in Bucky the conflict.

  
  
“Two days”

  
  
It’s all he is going to get so he isn’t about to push his luck and only nods.  
Two days.  
He can do something.

  
  
He let’s them handle the rest. Not because he doesn’t care but because his mind is focused on one thing and one thing only.  
As soon as he can go, he disappears.  
  
He needs to talk to the prisoner and he needs to be alone. Since the necromancer has been isolated and each cell is soundproof, it isn't hard to get to him quickly.  
  
The man doesn’t afraid of him and from what Miss Reuil told him, **he** is the one who should actually be scared.  
The seconds he sees Sam enters, alone, he jumps to the opposite corner of the room which, at this point to Sam, is the expected reaction.

  
  
“Don’t approach me!”

  
  
“ _Good_ ” Sam thinks, because diplomacy won’t help him go nowhere now. “Let me be perfectly clear. I am the one giving the orders and asking the questions here. You do not talk, you do not move unless I told you so. If you cooperate, I won’t lay one finger on you. Are we on the same page?”  
Sam isn’t exactly in the mood for a polite and nice little chat. He will find a way to bring Steve Rogers back even if he has to kill the remaining necromancers to use their powers somehow.

  
  
The man nods, not any calmer than before, his eyes still looking around them, hoping for an escape or something.

  
  
“How exactly works your powers?”

  
  
The man opens his mouth before closing it. He lick his lips in nervousness “We-we have a contract. Power in exchange for souls”

  
  
So far, it aligns with what he gathered and what the witch told them.

  
  
“So what happens to the ones you killed?”

  
  
“The souls are sent to the Demon. I don’t know what they do with it. They are dead man”

Sam takes a step closer to him, “I think she’s building an army, I swear I don’t know more”

  
“She?”

  
  
“The underworld queen. Hela”

  
  
This time Sam takes a step back. Hela? Queen of the underworld?! Thor’s sister?  
  
He has to take a soul back from her? She almost single handily destroyed her own people, and they were Asgardians. She wasn’t described as a very generous and kind person so how will he manage to get Steve back?  
  
On the other side, it means that there is still a chance if Steve’s soul is there.  
  
He runs out of the cell, trying to contact Strange as fast as he can.  
The Sorcerer Supreme doesn’t answer his call so unfortunately he has to go with plan B.

* * *

  
  
“You know I don’t like your aura and still, you come bother me once again,” Miss Reuil says while still letting him inside her house due to the late hour.

  
  
“I’m sorry but this is literally a matter of life or death. I need to take back a soul from hell”

  
  
She laughs “Of course you do. What about some French fries with that?”

  
  
Sam doesn’t care about her sarcasm. He cares about Steve and about how Bucky will feel when his best friend will be back.

  
  
“The necromancers are sending the souls to Hela, yes, that exact one. So let’s skip the part where you pretend that you have no way to do it. I’ll give you whatever you want but help me save Steve”

  
Fuck his pride, he’ll kiss her feet if he has to.  
  
She sights.

  
  
“The thing is, Mister Wilson, I cannot bring the dead back myself. I can help you try to get his soul back but this is a lot more complicated that it sounds. First, you’ll need a way of transportation” she starts to look around “Let’s see-”

By a wave of her hand, a book and a tablet floats toward her. She consults the two of them alternatively. After twenty minutes and several “no”, she opts to what she calls The Kharon’s crown.

It’s a necklace but Sam keeps his mouth shut, now isn’t the time to focus on this kind of details.

Not just any piece of jewelry, it has to specifically be a necklace with a ruby pendant and has been worn by three queens.  
  
Sam remembers a time when he wouldn’t have known how to put his hands on something like this. Now he can just ask someone in his impressive network.  
Simple times indeed.  
  
  
Then, he needs a sacrifice to open the door between the worlds and make sure coming back will be possible by keeping it that way. If he wants to be lead to Hela, then he needs to use a sacrifice connected to her.  
  
Sam, once again knows exactly what, or more exactly who he is going to kill to make that happen.

  
  
Third, he needs a piece of the one he is trying to bring back. A beacon to guide the soul to the original body.  
  
A piece of Steve’s hair will do the job just fine.

  
  
“I don’t understand, nothing seems all that complicated to me” he shrugs “I mean eventually the ruby will take more time but-“

  
  
“You know this is not pick and choose right? You’ll have to convince **her** to let him go. Even if she decides to humor you, she probably won’t send you back to hearth with him, so be very careful with the necklace because this is your only ride"  
  
He nods and ask if he will need anything else. An incantation? A specific place?  
She does sell him the incantation he needs to activate the necklace and it’s pricey.  
Then he’ll only have to make the sacrifice and bring the blood to the ruby then voila! He’ll be in hell.  
  
He does try to thank her but she shakes her head, looking at him not unlike when he told his mother he was going in the army.  
She didn’t want to support him in this when it meant possibly lose her son.  
Now Miss Reuil eyes were full of the same “you shouldn’t do this” energy. She isn’t trying to stop him, after all she can see for herself how determined he is.

  
  
He asks Natasha’s help for the necklace and she answers him quickly.

  
  
“While this isn’t in the top ten of the weirdest things someone asked me, it’s definitely in your top five”

  
  
It makes him smile, maybe he won’t have to wait for too long after all.  
  
In the meantime, he has to prepare for the rest and he feels very impatient on the road. He decides to use the time to work on a plan concerning the necromancer and Deacon Frost.

If he can help it, he won't kill the young man in the cell, but only if he has another option. He hates that he can think about it so easily but it's for Steve. Besides, it doesn't mean that he won't have his part to play. He still stays the best option for Sam to find Deacon and his necromancer.  
  
The only problem is how he will manage to get him out and running to his companions?

* * *

  
  
The easiest thing for now is to get something from Steve to guide him back to his body.  
  
By the time he reaches the facility, the sun is gone.

The place is still buzzing with activity even if there's less people around than by day. Crime doesn't sleep after all.  
  
Steve has been placed in a cryogenic pod for a few days. The room relatively small room is the one where bodies are put in stasis, waiting to know what will be done with them.  
  
Sam has to register and confirm his identity to be allowed inside. Even then, a DNA scan makes sure he isn’t trying to fraud the system when he tries to access Steve’s pod.  
  
Here he is, a bit isolated from the other pods, with the same expression lacking of everything. He hates to see him like this.  
Lord knows he has seen his fair share of bodies but Steve? All he can do is look at him with the certainty that this isn’t permanent. He just can’t think for a second “what if?”.  
  
Opening the pod is easy. He grabs his smallest dagger, the emergency after the emergency one and cut a strand of hair.  
He hurries to close the pod as fast as he can but it’s not fast enough.

  
  
“What are you doing?”  
Sam turns to Bucky with everything screaming guilty.  
“Is that- HIS HAIR?!”

  
  
“I can explain”  
He really couldn’t. Bucky would NEVER agree to what he tries to do. Not with those terms.

  
  
“Okay Wilson, tell me why you stole Steve’s motherfucking hair but be sure of something, you are not leaving this place with it” 

  
  
Fuck.

  
  
“Listen. In fact I can’t explain it to you right now. You need to trust me”

  
  
“No”

  
  
He won't lie, it hurts. Not surprising but still hard to hear. Sam knows he has no other choices but to go through Bucky. He starts by walking then run the last three steps and jump to kick Bucky in the sternum.  
As the super soldier dodges, Sam tries to go to the door but Bucky grabs him by the collar of his sweat and pulls so Sam falls on his back.

  
  
“Fuck off” Sam says, trying to keep him away with his legs.

  
  
The second his knee actually hit Bucky’s nose, he knows they gone too far. It makes Bucky more furious and he never been a punching bag so he punches Sam in the ribs before trying to reach the pocket with the hair places in a plastic bag.  
  
Sam rolls to prevent him from doing so but Bucky is restless and soon he is on his back, Bucky sitting on him and pining his arms above his head.  
With precision, a gesture his alter ego practiced way too much, he uses his metal hand to completely block Sam's wists before using the other hand to dig in his pocket.

  
  
“NO!”

  
  
Bucky gets the pack, shows it to Sam.

  
  
“The truth. Now”

  
  
Sam knows. He knows Bucky will not let him do what’s need to be done. He is doing it for him too, even if he doesn’t see that right now.

  
  
“I need it. Please. I’m begging you James, I am **BEGGING YOU**. I need it. You know me, I would never do something to hurt him”

  
  
“But you would hurt me without even blinking uh Love?”

  
  
Sam ceases to struggle at the words. The horror of what Bucky thinks of him stops him from saying anything at first. He doesn’t want to hurt Bucky either. Steve fought the world for him, how is this any different? He is only trying to bring their friend back, isn’t that normal if he can?

  
  
“Please, please-“ he repeats, again and again until Bucky gets up, letting him go in the process.

  
  
“The truth” he repeats.

  
  
Sam gets up too, his body hurt so much. 

  
  
“Please-Buc-“

  
  
The plastic bag hits his head in a muffled sound. Bucky just threw it at him with disgust.  
He leaves without a word and Sam grabs the small package like it was the most precious thing in the world. For him, it is.  
  
He will not think about Bucky now. He’s gone too far to stop. The shame, he is sure, will find him later. Right now, he needs to be sure he has everything else.  
  
Natasha provides him the necklace in the following hour, unaware of what happened between Bucky and him.  
Upon seeing him, she worries immediately, asking him if he had a brawl with a gang.

  
  
“Just give me the necklace please?”

  
  
He is losing his damn mind, talking to her like that. The fact that she does it without commenting proves that he look two seconds away from a full mental breakdown.  
  
With the necklace in hand, he goes to his apartment, get his suit, does the incantation and sees the hair sort of melt into the ruby, making him sparkling from the inside. It’s warm to the touch.  
He chuckles. He is doing it, he will bring Steve back and everything will be okay.  
  
With a smile, he finishes his preparation and goes to the necromancer cell, empty.  
  
Empty?!

  
  
“No-no, no-“ he laments, running outside he calls Natasha.  
“Nat, the necro’, where is he?”

  
  
“Why do you want to know?”

  
  
“Shit, come on, please”

  
  
She sights “He is moved to the Fort. Strange has to see him before he is brought to the authorities”

  
  
Sam has to find him before he made it near the Fort. After that, he will be beyond his reach and his whole plan will fall apart.  
They couldn’t possibly be gone for a long time so he hangs up quickly and starts moving.  
  
Finding their itinerary isn’t all that hard but considering that he doesn’t know exactly when they left, he may have a bit of traveling to do.  
Running into the first car he knew was available in the garage, he almost run into someone when he leaves the domain.

  
He almost jumps when on the passenger seat, Redwing starts to beep.  
Before he can even think about why someone would use Redwing to contact him, Bucky’s voice, no less furious than before asks “WILSON DON’T TELL ME YOU’RE AFTER THE NECROMANCER”

  
  
“Fine, I won’t then”

  
  
“I swear Sam, if you don’t come back immediately-“

  
  
“Red, end call and block every incoming calls”

  
  
There’s two more beep and it’s done. He feels extra nervous. A pissed off Bucky who didn’t want to talk to you was one thing, a pissed off Bucky who thought he was doing something he shouldn’t do was something else.  
  
He can’t possibly have long before someone would try to stop him so he drives faster, then manages to have a visual on the vehicle he is looking for. It’s a classic white and blue van with only two other smaller cars to protect the convoy.  
  
They are only a few minutes apart his heart his beating loudly in his ears.  
Thanks to his bot, he knows he is only a few minutes apart but he is forced to stop because of the zombies on the road.  
  
A quick check on Redwing informs him that one of the two cars is already submerged by zombies while the second has been turned upside down.

He has to forces his way to come as close as possible, surround by them.  
  
He can’t get out because of the zombies blocking his doors but still can see through them the van getting attacked too by Frost and his last necromancer. The woman who tries to kill him, the one he is looking for.  
  
  
Fighting his way out, he takes it to the sky as soon as possible. He flies to the group and sees the woman letting the prisoner out only to put her two daggers in him.  
  
She says something and he turns into a black cloud that she absorbs.  
  
_Is this what happened with me too_? He wonder with horror. He can see her and she can see him, she points one dagger in his direction.

  
  
“You’re next”

  
  
“Take back the power he stole. Be more powerful than ever” Deacon encourages. So he is the one who came with that idea?

  
  
This is it.  
  
She is the only one left. Everyone else doesn’t matter, even Deacon is irrelevant to what he needs to do.

  
  
“Redwing, code 3” he orders his bot.

  
  
The bot seems to explode in dozen of pieces all around Sam. Suspended in the air by no visible forces before turning around him like a mini tornado and making bullets rain as some parts of it rearrange themselves on Sam body.  
It isn’t a Stark armor but he looks damn good with his extra defense and attack.  
  
He isn’t the only one with a surprise.  
The necromancer makes a series of complicated moves and suddenly a bunch of zombies falls on the ground and start to convulse. In three seconds, bones are flying out of their dead bodies to create a golem, or maybe just a large armor all around her.  
That woman made her own Hulkbuster made of bones.

  
  
“This is really nasty!” He comments.

  
  
“I’ll make a necklace with your teeth”

  
  
“It’s funny that you mention a necklace-“ he answers with a smile.

  
  
Sam gets higher and higher in the sky but before he attacks, he receive the Avenger’s signal nearby.  
He didn’t thought he would have more time honestly so he tries to be as quick as he can.  
  
She has trouble touching him but her defense is too good for him to make any real damages. In addition he has to handle the super zombies occasionally popping up and Deacon Frost floating around.  
  
He sends one of his little bombs after him and uses his wings to make some room on the ground, slicing through the manipulated bodies until the team arrives.  
  
He barely has the time to see exactly who is here before he catches a gleam of one of Bucky favorite toy, a bazooka.

  
  
“Oh shit”

  
  
He isn’t here to play at all. The first missile barely misses Deacon. The necromancer has to use the bones as protection and even then, it takes her ten seconds to make it whole again.  
  
Interesting.

  
  
“FIRE AT HER!” He screams to Bucky.

  
  
He isn’t sure the man hears him. He isn’t sure he is going to do it anyway but Sam is ready.  
Natasha is fighting Deacon on the ground on his left. His face is full of black veins, anger and effort distorting his face. He can see a black pool moving from zombie to zombie, leaving only bones behinds.

Her spiders.  
  
He doesn’t have his com, he can’t hear what Bucky may or may not say. Having to keep an eye on him while fighting the relentless necromancer makes him take some nasty hits.  
His own blood is dripping from his left shoulder and his right feet is useless.  
  
It doesn’t matter.  
  
He catches another missile being prepared and the sign for him to move.  
He dodge a pointy bone in direction of his neck to jump as the missile his sent in her direction.  
  
As planned, she has no other choice but to protect herself. Sam is caught is some flames, he had to be close to be able to act before it’s too late.  
  
His legs his hurting him so much he just wants to cut it himself.  
  
He flies gun first, fire two times. Her hand closes on his neck.

  
  
“This is over” she says.

  
  
He vaguely hears people screaming his name behind him but it’s, indeed over.  
  
He feels a long bone pierce through his suit and his skin then all the way through.  
With what strength he has left, he fires again at her, this time directly in her chest.

  
She tries to catch his hand but he use the other one to force her to touch the necklace around his neck.  
“What-“

  
  
“See you in hell” he grins.

  
  
She is unable to detach herself from the necklace and soon, her hand seems to disappear inside with disgusting sounds of bones cracking and weird suction.  
She screams, the control over the bones more heretic, hitting Sam again and again until there’s no more arm.  
  
Her whole body is being absorbed by the ruby, inch by inch.  
  
At least she doesn’t scream anymore once her neck is snapped.  
  
Sam has to see it all as his body finally hit the ground, the bones she controlled nothing more than a bad memory on the ground all around him.  
  
The ruby seems so warm against him.  
  
He feels something touch him and he can’t even move his eyes.  
Bucky’s face appears in front of him.

  
  
“-Fucking Wilson. Don’t you dare die! Don’t leave me. Please, don’t leave me too! SAM!”

  
He wishes he could say something. Anything.  
Instead his lungs are on fire and he knows that he will not survive her. Her death means his too as she suffocates him from the inside. The black smoke even bigger and denser than the previous two.  
Nothing seems to respond. He can’t even close his eyes. The image becomes more blurry then disappear.  


The last thing he hears is Bucky screaming his name.


	7. Lost then found

Natasha knows three things with certainty:  
  
Samuel Wilson is an absolute idiot.  
  
James Barnes is broken.  
  
Deacon Frost will not escape her ever again, one way or another, she will have his head under her foot and will crush it.

  
  
Sam ends up on the same medical table Steve has been before him barely a few days ago.  
  
He is lying here, still in his suit, the necklace around his neck smudged with blood and dirt.  
  
The necklace she gave him.  
  
She hates what is happening now and hates even more feeling partially responsible for this mess. She wonders if she should tell everything to Bucky, but how?   
Considering how he is right now, maybe it would be better to let him alone for a moment.  
  
Helen looks at the body for several minutes without saying anything, barely moving. She is angry and somehow, it seems directed toward Natasha too.

Natasha and Clint leaves the room when she finally announce that she will do the autopsy.  
  
Clint is surprisingly silent. Natasha knows him enough to read what he is thinking at that moment. They couldn’t protect two of their own and each time they were only here to watch.  
He passes a hand on his face. “Fuck this,” he says softly before walking away.  
  
She couldn’t juxtapose the image of Steve and Sam, both dead, by the hand of the same enemy on top of that.  
She remembers the women, brought young into the program, all of them wouldn’t become a Widow but there was other use, be it by still being alive or not.  
Deacon may not have been the head of the whole program, but he was a willing “scientist” who toyed with nature’s law plenty. To this day, she isn’t exactly sure what his goal actually is and it made her angry.  
The last thing the team needs is for her to act impulsively, but she can't do nothing. Surely, she still has a card to play, no matter how small, there must be something she can do.

* * *

  
  
It’s three in the morning, Bucky is still against Sam’s door, has been for the last hour.  
They gave him access to his apartment so he went in but couldn’t do more than let the door close itself behind his back and slide against it. A situation reminding him of what happened after Steve died and he can’t believe he has to live this again. So soon. With Sam of all people.  
  
He cannot choose one emotion to feel and focus on it. He switch from sadness to anger, from anger to despair and from despair to rage.  
_How could he?_  
  
How could Sam dies like this? Chocking on that weird smoke and his blood? In his arms.  
He could still visualize Steve’s lifeless body against his, and now, he knows how Sam’s feels too.  
  
He hates so much how things ended, not only during that fight but between them too.  
Why Sam needed that hair? Why did he thinks it was okay to take it? Why going after them alone?  
The more he thinks about it, the angrier with him he becomes. It wasn’t supposed to turn into this shit show. They should have had that diner Sam wanted days ago. If he hadn’t been on that mission maybe-  
  
This is a nightmare and he wants nothing more than to wake up. What is he supposed to do now without them?  
  
The alarm resonates loudly suddenly and he chose not to move at first but the door opens behind him and, like with Sam before, he ends up laying on the floor. This time it’s Natasha in full gear.

  
  
“We’re under attack. The energy is similar from what we got from the necromancers”

  
  
She is visibly furious and ready to destroy whoever thinks attacking them is wise.

  
  
“They are all dead already” Bucky points. So unless Frost suddenly developed some abilities-

  
“The epicenter of it is somewhere near the medical bay, we can't have some dead moving around, do you understand?”

  
  
He understands perfectly. If they use Steve and Sam like vulgar zombies- No, he won’t allow that to happen. Nobody will touch them again.  


* * *

  
  
Sam opens his eyes to see a pool of bodies in front of him. They are moving in a slow dance, unable to escape the hole they are in somehow, as if a force was preventing them from actually just get out.  
He is lying on a dark brown and black earth next to them and some of the bodies are trying to reach out for him.  
No, not him he notices, his necklace.  
Rolling away, he grabs the totem in his hands to protect it.  
It’s still glowing and still warm.  
  
He did it.  
  
He gets up to look around. Behind him there a path of reddish stones. The path is leading to a large black door without anything visible behind it. It just seems to be standing there, in the middle of nowhere. Well, there is some dead light brown tree but Sam wouldn't bet on the fact that they are actual trees.He can't see the sun or the moon, the light seems to come from everything around, glowing with various intensity.  


He can see other pits in the distance. Each of them evokes him a volcano without visible lava.  
  
He hides the necklace in his distressed suit and goes to the door. Once in front of it, the apparent wood it’s supposed to be made of change to a silvery liquid.  
A portal then.  
He doesn’t hesitate to walk right through it, praying to find Steve quickly.  
  
He appears in a room that scares him at first because of the moving bodies behind the walls, giving them the aspect of soft clay. Some forms looks human but some can’t possibly be coming from hearth.  
The room seems alive.

  
  
“Do you like it? I put some souls in the room to make it more- lively,” a deep feminine voice asks from a side of the room.

  
  
How Sam couldn’t notice her before?  
She is sitting on a throne made of bones and gold. Her clothes are closer to an armor than a dress, all in shade of emerald and black.

  
They are alone in the whole room and Sam wonders if she is the only actual living person here.

  
She speaks again, showing some interest “Who are you?”

  
This time, he answers “Sam Wilson. You must be Hela”

  
  
“Queen Hela” he is corrected.

  
  
Sam looks all around him “Queen of what exactly?”

  
  
She weigh him up “Of Hell of course”

  
  
“Where is Satan then?”

  
  
At least, it makes her laugh “Satan? That decrepit stupid little thing? I took over, he is barely fit to rule over pigs”

  
  
She seems to have many opinions about him so Sam just nods before changing the subject.

  
  
“Excuse me but I am here to send a soul back to hearth, maybe you can help me find him?”

  
  
Hela looks at Sam for a few seconds before laughing harder.

  
  
“I don’t know who sent you but you’re funny. Tell me another joke!” she claps her hands to punctuate her demand.

  
  
“I am serious. I am here to take back Steve Rogers”

  
  
She laughs a little more, shakes her head, her black hair waving with her.

  
  
“Now, why would I do that?”

  
  
Sam shows her the necklace “I have this”

  
  
She appears in front of him like she just teleport and look at the necklace without touching any of it.

  
  
“So you’re the one who killed my soldiers”

  
  
“Only three out of four. One of them did it herself it to become more powerful. I killed her too after that”

  
  
She nods, barely inconvenienced “I see. This is why you have that power lingering in and around you. Well, what if we verify if you are that good of a fighter. If you survive, you can send whoever back to the living”

  
  
It’s evident to Sam that she doesn’t think he can do it so he doesn’t ask what will happen if he loose. He already know.

  
  
“Let’s go then”

  
  
She disappear, her crystalline laugh echoing in the room.  
The walls starts to move the same way a torso does when someone breathe. Is he inside someone? Is Hell the inside of some giant creature?  
There’s no more throne, no more door. Just four identical walls. Sam can see on each side of the room a human size bump moving before stopping in the middle of it.  
  
The bump opens to reveal the four necromancers.  
They doesn’t seems to have a lot of personality left, staying there with their dagger in hand, waiting for something.  
  
Sam takes position; he is too close to lose. If he has to kill them again, he will do it.

  
  
“Now, fight for your friend and survive, if you can” Hela says with a bit too much enthusiasm from somewhere he can’t see.

  
  
They charge.  
  
Sam runs in front of him, sliding between the legs of the less experienced of the four. He grab his ankles to make him fall and pull them against his torso as he gets up.  
The younger man lets his dagger fall.   
Sam lets his legs fall and rolls on the ground to catch the weapon just in time to block the first woman he killed among them. The other two are close and when the second man, the one who killed Steve, tries to hit him in the heart, he deliberately grab the second woman so that she is the one actually taking the dagger. She screams, he pushes her out of the way but gets kicked away for the most dangerous of the four.  
  
She is the first one on him and he can’t dodge the blade totally so his shoulder takes a deep cut.  
He head-butt her, throws the dagger in his shoulder at the less experienced one, hitting him in his belly.  
  
She looks at the necromancer she killed for a second and it’s a good distraction for Sam to push her on the other woman.  
He runs to finish the younger one and while the other man tries to stop him he manage to catch his arm, turn it in his back, make him loose the dagger and plant it in the nape of his neck. He kick the body as he falls.  
He has to dodge the two women to get to the dagger still in the other younger one belly and put an end to his misery.  
  
He is now only facing the last two of them. Slowly, he gets the two daggers without letting them out of his sight.  
  
While the men fought to themselves, the women clearly are (or were) a team and Sam is forced in a defensive position, taking hit after hit and only dodging the blades.  
  
He creates an opening by throwing the daggers at them, a trick they saw coming so they easily block them. Except Sam charge the older of the two and, after successfully catching her arm, break it. He knows the younger woman is coming so he turns at the last second, letting the older go, catches her face in his hand and pushes so violently it makes her fall on the ground.  
  
It’s easy to hit the older one leg after that, with one useless arm, she can’t properly balance herself. Just enough to get her out of the way.  
He snaps the neck of the younger one as she tries to get up, gets her dagger and hit the only one left directly in the heart.

  
  
Done.

  
  
He turns, his breathing short, his body hurting.  
Right as he is about to ask for his friend, the bodies gets up again. Black smoke cover them for a few seconds and when it’s gone, Steve, Bucky, Wanda and Natasha are here instead.  
  
While Sam doesn’t believe for a second that they are the real one, he still doesn’t move fast enough to stop them to close on him.  
  
He feels the blades bite in his body, making him scream all his air in one long go.  
He falls on his knees, barely able to stand like that. The one with Steve’s appearance gets to his level.

  
  
“It’s over. Just let go. You fought well”

  
  
Really? Could he really just stop? Stop everything? The pain? The fear?  
But what then? Everything that he did? Lying to Bucky, trying to save Steve and protect Natasha? What about his friends?  
  
_No._  
  
He couldn’t just let go. He needed Steve back.  
  
He feels the necklace against him, he has a mission. He can’t fail. He won’t fail them.  
There’s something inside him, he knows it. He barely has any strength left. He needs strength. No matter from where, no matter from who or what.  
  
The strength to protect his loved one.  
  
His hand moves, coming to touch Not-Steve’s cheeks.  
The imitation smiles, until he doesn’t because Sam’s hand grabs his jaw tightly.  
He feels it, that things in him that isn’t totally his. He calls it and feels energy in response. But he knows, the second the energy comes in him that he is absorbing it from Not-Steve.   
Oh, the thing tries to scream but his whole being disappears until only bones are left.  
  
Not-Wanda reacts and decides to come for him but with more speed than he should have, he dislodge one of the dagger, cut her palm with it and grabs her.  
She finishes in the same state as the first and by now, Sam took all the daggers out. He still feels the pain, but it’s second to a satisfaction he can’t control.  
He feels hungry from something real food wouldn’t quite be enough.  
  
When he gets on his feet, he can see by how Natasha’a and Bucky’s copies are looking at him that they know.

  
He is the predator now.  
The Falcon.

  
They try to run away.  
To where? He doesn’t know. But he chase them. With a jump way too long for his human body (he swear he floated for two seconds) he cuts Natasha’s retreat and corner her against a wall.  
Bones. All that’s left are bones.  
  
He turns to Bucky and whatever that thing truly is, it’s scared.  
  
Sam doesn’t hesitate to end him.  
  
For a second he almost hopes they’ll come back again. What he just tasted is unparalleled in his life. It’s not quite pleasure but he definitely wants more.  
  
He hears someone clap somewhere from behind him. He turns to see Hela, on her throne, another cocoon at her feet.

  
  
“You are quite interesting for a human”

  
  
“I want Steve” he says, this is all that matter. To send him back.

  
  
She smiles then point the cocoon at her feet.  
Sam walks quickly, if it’s a fake, he’ll destroy it.

  
  
“You better not have lied” he hears himself say before remembering that he is nothing compared to her. If she changes her mind, he is screwed.

  
  
Fortunately she seems to not take offense “I always respect my promises, not like some members of my family”

  
  
As he come closer, the cocoon disappears to let Steve behind, laying on the floor.

  
  
“I need to be sure- I can’t- please I need to be sure it’s him” he ultimately pleads. He thought he was strong enough to do what's necessary if it's another trick it but his mind won’t handle to be lied to again and Hela is the only one who knows the truth.

  
  
“I said, I always respect my promises”

  
  
Nothing on her face shows that she would lie but Sam knows better than just trust someone as powerful as her just because she says so. She used his friends face to fight him after all.  
  
He looks at Steve, touches his face with shaky fingers.  
He doesn’t have many choices right now anyway, so he takes his necklace off to put it around Steve.  
“Please don’t die again anytime soon” he says.

  
  
He stroke his cheek a bit, just to keep the memory of it for a few moments.  
He doesn’t know exactly how the necklace works so he taps on it lightly and if starts to glow, enveloping all of Steve in red and gold light before disappearing.

  
  
“Well. Let’s make a worthy soldier out of you shall we?” Hela proposes with glee.

  
  
Sam looks at her. It doesn’t matter what she does now, as long as Steve is safe and alive, he is done.

* * *

  
  
  
The facility isn’t in chaos, they are professionals after all, but it’s still a tense situation.

  
  
“It’s not exactly the same energy as the necromancers but they do share some similarities” An agent informs them.

  
  
“Helen?” Natasha asks to have an update on whether it’s affecting the dead or not.

  
  
“Nothing yet, they are all still dead. A team is posted in front of the morgue just in case”

  
  
“Good” Bucky says “Even if we aren’t finding any evidence of an infiltration, we can’t exclude that Deacon send someone. Where are we on the cameras analysis?”

  
  
“Nothing abnormal in the last three hours Sir” someone answers.

  
  
“Show me a view from above” Bucky asks someone with a vision of the facility showing them the energy they detected.

  
  
It isn’t interacting directly with any of their devices nor dead bodies, so what exactly is that energy supposed to do or be?  
  
The facility’s map open in the screen in front of them and the little dots representing the intrusive energy appears in a near perfect circle.  
  
“Something is coming, I think it will be near the pods” Wanda Informs them via their com’.

  
  
“Shit, no!”  
Bucky is outside in a flash, rifle on his back, followed by Natasha and Helen.

  
  
They join Wanda, her hand glowing a soft red as the air seems full of gold and red glitter.

  
  
Bucky frowns, grabbing his weapon “What the hell?”

  
  
“I can’t stop it”

  
  
“Be ready” Natasha warns.

  
  
The glitter seems to fall on the ground all at once before starting to float again, this time turning faster and faster until it creates a sort of little tornado without any wind.  
  
Bucky tries to go inside and only manages to open the door before having to be backed up by Natasha.

  
  
“STOP!” Wanda screams, dressing a force field around them as the sparkles change into electricity and a golden lighting bolt hit somewhere in the room.

  
  
Wanda let the field fall and uses her power to spread the smoke so they can walk in.  
  
Only one pod had been hit.

  
  
“Steve-“ Bucky breathes with the worst in mind. Steve is already dead, who dares touche him in death? **WHO**?!

  
  
The pods open in a psssccch noise.  
  
The first thing they notice are the tears, then the apparently burning necklace disappearing around his neck and finally, Steve opening his eyes.  
  
No one dares to move.  
  
Bucky can’t even point his weapon, not again. Helen has no intention to go meet whoever this is first. Natasha wonders if she hallucinated the necklace, looking suspiciously like the one Sam asked for.  
It’s Wanda who finally approach, hand in front of her.

  
  
“Steve?”  
Steve focuses on her, breathing deeply without moving.  
“Do you recognize me?”

  
  
“W-aaaan” he shows some discomfort with his throat for a moment before trying again “Wan-da”

  
  
“We have to be sure you are you. Is this okay?” She asks, showing her palms open and taking a step in front of them.

  
  
They don’t need to tell her to be careful. Natasha is ready to fire and Wanda has more than one trick in case “Steve” tries anything funny.  
  
He drops his head on his chest to present it to her, his breathing a bit hard.  
She put her palms around his temples and close her eyes. Small red volutes disappears quickly in the air.  
After interminable seconds, she opens teary eyes and hugs him close.

  
  
“We missed you so much” she breathes, thanking the sky for giving them one good thing.

  
  
Natasha comes closer. Frowning in confusion. What that really the necklace around his neck earlier? If so, why did it disappeared? Why Sam needed it? Did Sam brought Steve back somehow?  
She quickly use her tablet to check the morgue but the team is still here and nothing seems out of the ordinary.  
  
She looks at Steve but feels sick. It was bad enough to have bitten Sam, but if she has accidentally managed to help him get killed by providing the necklace then it was equally as bad even if it played a role in having Steve alive now.  
  
Sam is her fried and for someone she wants alive and well, she really did a good job do the exact opposite she thinks, unable to take too much comfort in Steve’s return.  
All she can do right now is hoping that this is truly Steve and that he won’t collapse in their hands the second they close their eyes.  
  
Bucky looks at the scene without being able to believe it.  
Steve is back.  
Somehow, his best friend, his partner, just woke up from the dead.  
Considering the enemies they are facing lately, it can’t be a coincidence and definitely can’t accept him as Steve without some verification.

  
  
“Helen, can you check too? I also need Strange here as soon as possible. I want to make sure this is not a trap in any way, shape or form”

  
  
“I’ll call Strange” Natasha answers immediately, thinking about the witch too, maybe she has something to help?

  
  
Steve and Bucky shares a look and Steve nods. He knows it would be better for everyone if they can make sure he is, well, him.

  
  
“What’s the last thing you remember?” Bucky asks.

  
  
Steve has to concentrate to answer “We we’re on a mission and I had that guy- Snow, no, Frost. I had him and I remember pain. After that-I don’t know, sensations I think”

  
  
This time it’s Natasha who speaks “What kind?”

  
  
“I’m not sure. Being held I think. I don’t know-” he touches his head, look at them all, then around at the pods “Someone is missing- Where is Sam?”

  
  
There’s a moment of silence, nobody wants to be the one announcing the bad news.  
  
The pods are all aligned three by three, Steve is apparently the only one coming back to life and having to walk the few steps between them to arrive in front of Sam’s is harder than what Bucky thought.

  
  
“No-“

  
  
“Steve, I’m sorry”

  
  
“NO! Sam isn’t- Not Sam, this isn’t real”

  
  
Bucky can’t hold his tears but refuse to escape reality. This night is fucking him up but there’s no way he will hide the truth from Steve.  
  
The resurrected takes a step back, the face of Sam totally closed facing him.  
He looks at Bucky, at Natasha and Wanda and Helen, then back to Sam.  
He puts his arms around himself, eyes lost, murmuring “ _Please_ ” and “ _not him_ ” to reassure himself.  
  
They stay there a few minutes, no one breaking the silence but Steve until Bucky gathers the strength to force him out of the room.  
  
Steve starts to walk away a bit unsure of his steps.

  
  
“Go with him” Natasha advises “We’ll take care of the rest and let you know when Strange is available”  
  
Bucky thanks them before quickly following Steve.  
He has no idea what he is supposed to do or how he can even help him. To think that not so long ago the situation was basically reversed makes him dizzy.

* * *

  
  
The following days are putting everyone on edge.  
  
While they do manage to confirm Wanda’s conclusion that Steve is the real one and well alive, knowing that there was no trace of magic in him and that he was alright and not at risk of imminent death was a relief.  
  
Everyone was mourning him before and now they were doing it about someone else and it was just as shitty.  
  
Contrary to Steve, Sam had prepared everything in that eventuality and the date on the documents made Bucky enraged as the lawyer is providing them the last bit of information.

  
  
“How is this possible? That was the day Steve- I don’t understand, this can’t be a coincidence”

  
  
“Bucky please, calm down. What else do you want it to be?” Wanda asks in a vain tentative to diffuse the tension. Natasha talked to her and she doesn't buy the theory that Sam brought back Steve by dying "Sam wouldn't kill himself knowingly, he knows we need him" she had say then.

  
Steve is staying silent, eyes right in front of him as more often than not when someone talks about Sam.

  
  
“I don’t know. I don’t freaking know” Bucky says before taking his face in his hands.

  
  
The lawyer continues “Mister Wilson is charging his mother or sister to decide where he will be buried”

  
  
It was a thought that totally escaped Bucky.  
  
Someone will have to tell his family that he’s dead.  
  
The same thought is making his way inside Steve’s brain and he blinks, mouth open.

  
  
“I can take care of it” Natasha proposes softly.

  
  
“No, I have to do it”

  
  
“Steve-“

  
  
“Nat’- It’s my responsibility. Besides, only Bucky and I knows his family”

  
  
He turns to his best friend, looking for support and he finds it. Bucky doesn’t say that he is reaching the end of his ability to act like a sensible human.  
Probably because he can tell than Steve is on thin ice too.  
  
Natasha sight and put her hands in the air slowly before letting the lawyer finish his work. Her mind is back to think about what they saw when Steve came back.  
The necklace.  
  
She looked at the surveillance video a dozen of time, pausing on the frames when you see the lightning hit the pod, the necklace appearing around Steve’s neck for a second before it disappears in flames.  
  
It’s evident for her that Sam is responsible for Steve’s comeback and that the necklace she gave him played a part in that.  
The question is, where would he had learn something like that and is she’s betraying him for trying to know?  
  
She has her idea on who could have helped but what if she did? She looks at Steve and Bucky, miserable as they leave the room and decide to take some actions.


	8. Left behind

It takes two days to get everything ready to go see Darlene Wilson.  
In the meantime, Helen has to corner Natasha as discreetly as possible to inform her that the body isn’t decaying at all and that her venom is doing a damn good job at preserving it.

  
  
“At this rate, he will still look exactly the same when he’ll be buried” Helen points, “people will ask questions”

  
  
Natasha bites her lips, “Well, let’s give a piece of the truth if asked then. Besides, it's not as if his body was regenerating or something else. ”

  
  
“Which piece would that be exactly?”

  
  
The natural with which Natasha answers, “That he had been in contact with death magic. It's messing up with his metabolism, of course” makes Helen laughs at first.

  
  
“Of course, regular necromancer magic, keeping the dead looking alive! I remember that commercial”, the sarcasm dripping from her words as well as her mannerism makes Natasha genuinely smile.  
  
She remembers at first how Helen was intimidated by the likes of Bruce, Steve and her. Look at her now, not taking shit from anyone. She is impressed and charmed by the Doctor at the same time.  


* * *

  
  
Steve has a perfect metabolism but it doesn’t stop him for being two seconds away from throwing up when they park in front of the Wilson’s house.  


They weren’t even the one actually placing the body in his pod, even if it was made opaque so that you couldn’t who is inside without actively trying to.

  
“We will have to talk about it eventually Steve, you know that?” Bucky says softly; chin on his hand and eyes by the window.  
  
Since Steve came back, they only talked about Sam in administrative term because of the lawyer. Not once what it meant for the two of them.  
While Bucky isn’t the most prone to talk about feelings, he can’t imagine not discussing with Steve about the situation and how to manage it.

  
  
Steve takes a deep breathe, not answering to his words “Let’s do this”

  
  
Bucky is about to comment on his avoidance. Their, really. How did they manage not to talk about Sam? He shakes his head, thinking about how messed up they are.  
  
They walk to the door and ring the bell. It’s not long before Sarah Wilson, Sam’s little sister, open the door. Both Steve and Bucky saw her once before today and she only has exchanged words with Steve then. She is visibly surprised to see them here and their formal clothes may be the reason she frowns right away.

  
  
“Hi, sorry to drop by unannounced, Sarah right? Is your mother here too? Can we- talk?” Steve says with a dry throat.

  
  
She looks at the both of them with suspicion. Instead of letting them in, she gets out of the house completely and close the door behind her.

  
  
“What is this about, Captain?”

  
  
Steve looks at Bucky but his face is unreadable, trying to appear neutral without quite managing it.  
  
He closes his jaw tight at first, finding hard to keep his eyes in hers. Her eyes are just a bit more lighter than Sam but they have the same shape and intensity.

  
  
“It’s Sam. He- He died”

  
  
“You’re lying” she answers so quickly he can tell this is the response she was ready to tell if she ever was to hear those words.  
She seems to realize it and opens her mouth once again but nothing is coming out.  


  
“I am deeply sorry. He left some instruction in prevision of his disappearance and we’re here to do as asked” Steve says mechanically because he, too, learned the words by heart.

  
  
“What do you mean “dead?” Is he just nowhere to be found or-” She asks, one hand on her chest.  


  
“He perished during a mission”

  
  
The information seems to finally make it to her head because she almost fall against the door, tripping on her own feet.  
Steve and Bucky both try to help her but she hit them both.

  
  
“I knew it! I knew he would die if he kept following you!”

  
Steve stays silent. He told himself the same thing. The nagging feeling that this is somehow his fault even if he actually doesn’t know how Sam died beside that it was because of the necromancers and Deacon Frost.  
  
Bucky bites his lips, he knew that was something that he might heard by coming here but it hurts all the same. He remembers the fight they had before Sam ran away after them and he blames himself.

  
  
“Sarah?” The voice of Darlene Wilson, from inside the house calls for her daughter.

  
  
Sarah eyes opens wildly, mid-tears.  
  
“Ma-“

  
  
They can hear Darlene coming closer and all three of them are looking at each other.  
When the door opens, Sarah almost jumps in front of Steve and Bucky, trying to face her mother, head down.

  
  
“Steve? Mister Barnes if I remember correctly. What- What is this?”

  
  
“Oh, mama-“ Sarah starts to sob.

  
  
“Miss Wilson, unfortunately we are here to deliver you-“

  
  
Steve is cut by Darlene’s face starting to fall, ready for the news the same way her daughter was.  
  
Steve can’t finish but Bucky takes the lead, hoping to stop the suffering as soon as possible.

  
  
“Your son died a hero. I am sorry I wasn’t able to protect him”

  
  
She is suddenly unable to talk, her eyes unfocused as she turns away to walk back inside slowly.

  
  
“I think you should lea- Ma?!”

  
  
Steve and Bucky can see past Sarah that Darlene has trouble walking, her arm holding herself against the wall.  
While they initially thinks that this is the emotion taking over, when she falls on the ground in a horrific silence, it’s clear that something is wrong.  
  
“Ma!!” Sarah screams, running to her, Steve and Bucky right behind.  
“Ma, wake up! No, no no-”

  
  
“In the van, we’ll take her to the hospital” Steve reacts right away as Bucky tries to remove Sarah as softly as possible for Steve to take Darlene up and carry her to the vehicle.  
  
Of course, Sarah jumps right in. Holding her mother hand as Bucky finishes attaching her and they start driving.  


* * *

  
  
“Steve? Steve!”  
Steve doesn’t answer him, he walks as fast as he can once they are back from the hospital in the middle of the afternoon.  
“For fuck sake! Stop!”

  
  
Bucky has to put himself in front of Steve for him to start talking again after the four hours of silence. Darlene scared the shit out of him, he is whiter than white, even if the doctor told them that they brought Darlene in time and that she will be okay after a lot of calm and rest.

  
  
“We almost killed her. We killed her son and we almost killed her” he says, unable to calm himself.

  
  
“Please, Steve-“

  
  
“No! I can’t! We looked in her eyes, told her Sam was gone and we almost sent her to him right away! Did you see how Sarah looked at us? Did you?!”

  
  
“Of course I did. I know she is blaming us and-“

  
  
“AND SHE’S RIGHT!” Steve screams, not caring who is around to hear them.

  
  
Bucky looks at him without finding anything to add. He feels just as guilty as Steve and usually, it’s Steve who has the hope and the positive lens to see life. Now they are both in the same boat and it’s sinking rapidly.  
  
He takes a step back, then a second, then turns to leave.  
  
He needs to be alone right now.

  
  
Steve and Bucky doesn’t see each other until Sam’s funeral (entirely paid by several generous donors) the following week.  
The team had been surprised to see it handled as quickly and to actually been invited to it by Darlene herself.

  
  
“He would have wanted you here, you were his team and more than that”

  
  
“Darlene, I’m sorry. I don’t think-“

  
  
“Steven” she cuts “He would have wanted you here. You understand right?”

  
  
“Yes, ma’am”

  
  
“Tell this to James too. I’ll let you know the details, of course everyone is welcome. I think it would make more sense for a lot of his family to actually meet who he was sharing his life with”

  
  
There is a way, an intonation maybe in how she says it that makes Steve freeze instantly.   
  
Sam was spending most of his time with them since they got Bucky back. There wasn’t a way of going back to civilian life after saying fuck to more than a hundred governments.  
Even if he did try to see his family at least once or twice every two to three months, it wasn’t as simple. One time, they went in space for what was supposed to be a week but six months had passed on earth and while Sam has said nothing about it, Steve knew it wasn’t something he wanted to do again.  
After all, Sam, like Clint and Scott, was one of the few still having actual living family around.  
  
  
On the next Friday, Steve goes alone to the funeral, not sure if he can stay here. People are coming and leaving and among the one arriving, some of them are for Sam.  
  
Sarah is here, a cold stare even as she greets people.  
Darlene is next to her, an arm linked to her daughter for support. She hugs and kiss and shakes hand to the family and the friends.  
  
Steve sees Wanda and Vision arrive, Clint and Rhodey behind them.  
They say something to Darlene and Sarah and, surprisingly, it’s the later who takes Wanda in her arms first.  
For some reason, it makes Steve breathe easier. He wonders if he is scared of showing his face again in front of them. He is ashamed that’s for sure.  
  
Natasha arrives, seemingly out of nowhere, exchanging a few words with Sarah and Darlene before walking to join the others.  
He recognizes Misty, Luke, then Tony, Pepper and T’Challa with Okoye as well as Peter.  
  
Steve decides to finally get out of the car, when he close the door, a large black motorbike gets to his right and Bucky totally ignores him as he walk with a determined look on his face to the Wilson’s.  
Darlene says something making Bucky turns his head to Steve and they exchange a bit more before Bucky joins Natasha.  
  
He sights, braces himself and does what everyone else did before.

  
  
“Darlene, Sarah- I am so sorry for your loss”

  
  
“We know Steve” Sarah answers softly “Did you thought about staying in your car the whole time? We know you arrived twenty minutes ago”

  
  
He blushes.

  
  
“Sorry, I- I would have preferred to never see that day actually” he says as truthfully as he can.

  
  
Darlene nods.

  
  
“I already had to put back to earth my husband and our oldest son. It doesn’t get easier”

  
  
Steve does not know why he goes for the hug but her embrace makes him start to cry despite himself.  
Sarah pats his shoulder. When they separate, he smiles a bit before walking to sit between Wanda and Natasha.  
There’s so many people here for Sam, it breaks his heart as much as it warms it.  
Today is about celebrating Sam Wilson, not his death, but his life and what he brought to this world, this is what is said at the beginning of the ceremony. So he tries, even if it hurt terribly.  
  


* * *

  
When Natasha comes back to the Facility, she tells herself that she never should have gone to the funeral.  
It was for family and not only did she felt like she really shouldn’t have had the right to be here, the sense of being surround by loved one was almost too much for her, as someone used to be alone most of the time. To see everyone saying their final goodbye was emotionally exhausting.  
  
She knows she isn’t the only one feeling guilty but she definitely had a hand in how things turned out.  
  
Not only she is persuaded that Sam wouldn’t have acted the way he did if he hasn’t considered himself condemned (even if they wasn’t certain that the venom would actually kill him) but there was the necklace problem.  
  
She is almost certain that the necklace is actually what did that weird thing to the last necromancer.  
  
Either Strange gave Sam some really weird tips or-  
  
She stops, gets her phone out, look at the black screen.  
She needs to know.

  
  
“Hi, Miss Reuil? This is Natasha. Can I come by later?”

  
  
“You know you’ll have to buy something eventually? I told as much to your friend, last time and at least he had the decency to take something. About that, did it work?”

  
  
Natasha is shocked, her mind processing the implication of what the witch just said.

  
  
“Do you mean the resurrection?”

  
  
“Of course I do. It’s not really everyday that someone ask for this kind of things and actually have the power to do it”

  
  
“I-“ she starts because hearing someone behind her.  
She turns to see Steve standing here, his eyes on her in an unreadable expression. For someone with a poker face as terrible as Steve, it means something.  
“I’ll see you soon, I have to go” she says before hanging up.

  
  
Steve comes closer, eyes on her the whole time.

  
  
“You got something about how I came back?” He asks.

  
  
She hesitates for too long. This is what she wanted to avoid, having to lie to her friends and especially to Steve who was dead not that long ago. Now how could she look in his eyes and not give him any kind of answers? But lying is what she does, professionally, and if she wants to have all the facts, she will need Steve out of the way for a bit.

  
  
“Don’t you know it’s not very polite to listen to conversation Rogers?”

  
  
It makes him smile a bit “You are dodging”

  
  
“Makes us both a favor Steve, drop it”

  
  
“You know” he starts, getting closer to her. Not to threaten her but because he doesn’t want to raise his voice if he can “It’s curious that I am actually the only one who woke up. Just out of nowhere, a vortex of energy and here I am”

  
  
“Well, you finally get some luck. It was about time”

  
  
They smile at each other, the situation could turn badly if they keep going.

  
  
“You are hiding something”

  
  
“If you understand that I don’t want you to know something why bothering me?” She answers like he is the biggest idiot in the city.

  
  
Steve smile less after that, he nods to himself.

  
  
“I see”

  
  
He is visibly hurt, giving her a good disapproving look before walking away.  
She exhales slowly.  
  
She hates lying to him but considering the mess she is in now, she doesn’t feel like explaining everything to Steve without having a solution to the problem.  
  
Sam’s death has an impact on the people he knew, of course, but if she focuses on Steve and Bucky, she can see that it’s messing with their relationship too.  
She is a bit surprised by the differences in how Sam and Bucky dealt with the pain together by opposition of Steve and Bucky. Well, "dealt" is wrong. Sam dealt with nothing besides finding a way to bring Steve back.  
Now, Natasha knew that Bucky and Sam shared something that had Steve right in the middle so it wasn’t a life shattering surprise that they would be closer to deal with the loss. With the two super soldiers however, she doesn’t understand what is happening. But since she tries not to be too much around them because of what’s she did, she may be missing a few pieces.  
  
She focuses once again on Miss Reuil and decides to go see her right now. Luckily, she doesn’t see Steve or Bucky on her way out but ran into Wanda and has a quick chat with her.  
There’s a quick and sharp whistle near her which makes her look all around but she doesn’t see anything or anyone.

  
  
“Did you hear that?”

  
  
“No, what?” Wanda asks back with concern.

  
  
She wonders if she is a bit too paranoid and shakes her head.  
Nothing to worry about.

  
  
She arrives to the witch’s shop earlier than she thought.  
This is the first time she sees clients in here, a couple and a old lady, browsing through the articles and occasionally questioning Miss Reuil about them.  
  
Contrary to the way she was with Sam and her, she looks like a benevolent grandma with the clients.  
Something’s tells Natasha that the only luck Miss Reuil has when Frost and his team robbed her was that she wasn’t present because she sure would have put one hell of a fight but Natasha isn’t one hundred percent sure she would have won.  
  
The witch gives her a fake smile and a “Just a second, I’m coming” before taking her sweet times to accommodate her customers.  
  
When she finally turns to Natasha, the last client barely gone, her demeanor is back to the one the spy is used to.

  
  
“Well, little spider, what exactly brings you here today?” She asks, starting to cleaning around.

  
  
“When was the last time you saw Sam?”

  
  
“Your friend? The night he came to get a way to bring his friend back of course”

  
  
She is so nonchalant about Steve, it starts to get on Natasha’s nerves. Unfortunately, she is here to get more answers so she better calm down.

  
  
“What happened exactly?” She asks without letting her feelings show too much.

  
  
“Well, I just told you. He came to bring a soul back from the dead and I gave his a way to be as close to do that as I could. So tell me, did it worked?”

  
  
Natasha is about to answer when someone push the door.  
A shield.  
A riffle.

  
  
“Fuck” Natasha thinks.

  
  
“Now ladies, why won’t you tell us exactly what is happening here” Bucky demands.

  
  
Natasha immediately taps her coat and finds it quite easily, the small tracer on the clothe's back.  
This is the sound she heard.  
She throws it to Bucky who catches it with a look daring her to say something about it.  
  
Miss Reuil eyes become bright orange once again and if it isn’t for Natasha getting in front of her to prevent Bucky and Steve from attacking, she would have been hit right here, right now.

  
  
“So it’s you” says the witch in direction of Steve “your aura is beautiful” she compliments.

  
  
“What are you talking about?” Steve wants to know.

  
  
“You are the one he brought back from hell right?”

  
  
Natasha isn’t crazy enough to get in the way of Steve and Bucky if they decide to attack so she tries to diffuse the situation.

  
  
“No need to be violent. She isn’t a bad person”

  
  
Steve changes his position but keeps his shield near him “The truth. Now”

  
  
The older woman sights “Sam Wilson came to have a way to save you so I sold him the means to do it and here you are. I am happy to have a satisfied customer”

  
  
Bucky is ready to jump on her and Steve’s face hardens.

  
  
“Come on now, this wasn’t necessary” Natasha intervenes, doing her best to prevent everyone to do someone regrettable.

  
  
“What? It’s true. He wanted him alive and he is living again isn’t he?”

  
  
“You know he is dead right?” Steve asks with all the control he can put together.

  
  
She rolls her eyes “He knew the risks. I told him he wouldn’t be able to cross back”

  
  
Bucky makes a step in her direction and Steve stops him with and arm across his torso.

  
  
“Can you bring him back then?”

  
  
“Of course not” she scoffs “part of what made the whole thing function in the first place are his powers. So unless one of you has death magic and willing to sacrifice someone-“

  
  
“You knew about that?” Bucky asks Natasha.

  
  
“He asks me the necklace but I didn’t know it was for that. I had my suspicions when you came back Steve, I needed to be sure”

  
  
“You looked me in the eyes and told me you didn’t want me to know what you were hiding. I can’t believe you would do something like this after all we’ve been through”

Natasha close her mouth, thinking about what he would say if he knew about the rest too.

“You-“ Steve shuts his mouth suddenly, turning to walk out of the shop.  


Natasha looks at Bucky then and she sees the face of someone’s haunted.  
  
_Did he had a hand in Sam’s plan too without knowing?_ Natasha wonders.  
  
“Bucky-“

“Us three, we are all responsible for his death”

  
  
“Excuse me? He is the one coming to me and insisting on saving blondie, how am I responsible if he already knew he probably wouldn’t be able to come back?” Miss Reuil asks shocked.  
  
One look from Bucky and she ends up silent too.

  
  
  
When Bucky joins Steve in the car they took to come, he sees tears falling on his cheeks silently as he is looking as something that is definitely not in front of him.  
  
Bucky seats next to him and slowly put his hand on Steve’s.  
The reaction isn’t immediate but after a moment, he does take his hand.

  
  
“Do you think he believed that his life was less important than ours?”

  
  
The question makes Bucky turns to him. A scowl on his face.

  
  
“I don’t know. Fuck. I don’t know” he passes a tired hand on his face “there’s something I have to tell you”

  
  
Steve waits, unsure if he is ready for another piece of information to torture himself over.  
“Yeah?”

  
  
“The night Sam-“ he swallows “I saw him take a piece of your hair so I confronted him. We- we had a fight. A nasty one. I-“

  
  
“Bucky-“

  
  
“I have to tell you Steve. You have to know, this is my fault too. He was ready to do anything to get that hair and I prayed it wasn’t to do something stupid but ultimately I gave it back to him and I left”

  
  
Steve closes his eyes, trying to stop his mind for imagining the scene. Sam always said that Steve was stubborn, but Steve knew that Sam was just as determined.  
  
Sam had found a way to bring him back at his own cost.

  
  
“Am I crazy to think that he shouldn’t have done it. Not if it meant him dying?”

  
  
Bucky couldn’t answer that. His thoughts weren’t coherent enough to form something making a lot of sense right now.

  
  
“I am sorry”

  
  
Steve eyes are looking deeply in Bucky. So deeply that Bucky could feel uncomfortable if it was by someone else.  
  
“This isn’t your fault . And I need you to really hear what I’m saying. I think we don’t know the whole truth yet”

  
  
“Me neither. Did that woman told that Sam had powers?”

  
  
“And Natasha-“

  
  
“Let’s- let’s take some time to think about it in a healthier way we would usually do” Bucky proposes, not sure what he means himself but it does sounds good.

  
  
“Yeah Buck. Yeah. Let’s go”

  
  
They don’t really get out of each other sight the next three days. It's a big change from the last days. At first they try to sleep in separated room but there’s a coldness only the other man presence can warm. So at two in the morning the first night, Steve walks into Bucky’s room and just drops next to him in the bed to sleep.  
  
A lot of this makes Bucky remember of the short period of time when Sam and him would be closer as well.  
It hurts so much.

  
  
“If you disappears, again, or if you do something like he did, I don’t know what I would do Steve. This is driving me crazy. You, him- I can’t do it again. You understand? I can’t!”

  
  
Bucky puts his hands on his eyes, trying to stop the tears from falling. On his back, he starts to sob, the pain overcoming his nerves.

  
  
“I won’t. I promise you Bucky. I’m sorry“

  
  
Steve sits on the bed, brings Bucky’s head in his lap and start stroking his hair.  
When someone leaves, the pain is for who is left behind.  



	9. It's hard to move on

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a sexy scene in it in case you want to avoid it.

They try to go back to a sense of normalcy. The truth is, they don’t really know what it means for them since they aren’t the same Brooklyn kids they were before and Sam has been a constant in their life since Bucky permanently came back in the US.  
Learning to live without him is hard but after two weeks, the necessity to keep going and helping to make the world (or the universe one time) safer pushes them in a better place.  
  
It isn’t perfect but they try to make it work.

They both feels better when they are certain that Darlene has nothing to worry about health wise. It worries them to be invited in a few days for diner with her and Sarah. Darlene doesn't seems to want them out of their life and they don't know how to feel about that.  
They feared it would be awkward and painful but it’s actually nice and if there’s some tears, the freedom to let them drop with people who share the same experience doesn’t make them as difficult.

  
  
“Celebrate life” Darlene had say once more during the evening.  
Which isn’t the most memorable thing she actually said that night. Not when she asks while getting some water on the table “So are you two finally getting together?”

  
  
Bucky drops his spoon and Steve has to make her repeat because he truly thinks he has heard incorrectly.  


  
“We-uh- we are not together” Steve says, whipping his mouth with the napkin.  
  


  
“You know" she starts "I don’t think Sam would have wanted the two of you lonely”. She takes the time to think a bit more “I can tell you care about each other deeply but I don’t want to be noisy. It’s just that the way he talked about you two-”  


Bucky frowns in his ice cream while Steve opens his mouth in perplexity "What did he say?"

Darlene and Sarah shares a look, Sarah makes the face of someone who doesn't want to be involved while still staying here to hear about it.

"Maybe I understood wrong, he seemed persuaded that you two were in love, at the very least, when he talked about you, Bucky, he presented you like a jealous boyfriend so I got confused. Sorry"

  
“No need to apologize” Bucky answers immediately. “If I’m being honest-” he starts, unsure if talking about it is the best idea, “-I think that our relationship is different now that it was when we were younger and romantic attraction wasn’t exactly an option back then. As for Sam, he wasn't the wisest when it came to relationship”

  
Steve looks at Bucky with apprehension so Darlene tries to push slowly. She feels that Bucky might be more receptive to the topic.

  
  
“And now? About romantic attraction being an option I mean”

  
  
It’s easy for Bucky to answer that “Steve is one of the best man I know. It’s just a conversation we never had”

  
  
Darlene smiles to them and she can see the conflict on Steve’s face “I understand”

  
  
Bucky smiles back at her and resume his eating while Steve finally stops looking at his friend, frowning hard and touching the bottom of his almost empty glass of wine.  
Steve is conflicted about the whole thing. He could see how the relationship between the three of them was anything but standard but beyond some sort of flirting, nothing really came out of it until the night Sam and he kissed. And at that moment, he had no idea what to do about Bucky because he already knew that he was in love with him at that point, still, the idea of letting Sam go never occurred to him. 

Now, Sam is gone and they are doing a bit better, it's true, but what are they doing really?

Bucky is waiting for him to decide if he wants their relationship to change or not, he realizes. Bucky was waiting for him.  
  
He has to talk to him. To let him know how he feels. It’s going on for too long and he doesn’t want to die again without Bucky knowing his heart.  
He won’t repeat the mistake he did with Sam.  
  
Luckily, Darlene changes the topic after that, cheerful about going to see Janet Jackson with Sarah for her birthday.  
Steve is grateful and Bucky does most of the conversation. He always was better at that than Steve was.  


* * *

The ride back is mostly silent, a few words here and there until they arrive on the domain, the facility only a few minutes apart. It's how long it takes him to make up his mind.  
Steve abruptly parks on the side of the road. Hands still on the wheel, he licks his lips, they feel dry.  


  
“Steve?”

  
  
“I like you Bucky. Hell, I love you. I loved you since before the war, I don’t know why I was so scared back then to tell you. Was it because I thought you would reject me or because I was scared to lose you, I don’t know” he blurts before forcing himself to be calmer “I am in love with you now. Not a version of you that is gone, the you now. And I wanted to say something, you know? But-“

  
  
“Sam” Bucky says simply.

  
  
“Yeah. I-”

  
  
“I know Steve”

  
  
Steve turns to him, wondering if he understands the words behind what Bucky just say “You-“

  
  
“I understand. I don’t know how he felt for sure but in the end, I think we were all sort of suffering about the situation”

  
  
Steve nods; Bucky looks in front of him.

  
  
“I feel guilty,” Steve admits. “I am happy, be sure of it, that you share my feelings” he insists “but I feel guilty as hell. Is this wrong? If-“

  
  
Bucky turns his head for them to be eyes to eyes.  


  
It’s fast, the press of lips against his. So fast Steve opens his mouth to let a surprise sound escape him.  
Bucky stops fear and shame filling his eyes.  
Steve eyes falls between them but when Bucky tries to move away, he is caught and Steve brings him back for another kiss, more passionate.  
Way more.  


  
“I waited for so long,” Steve whispers before nibbling Bucky’s ear.  


  
“God, Stevie-“  


  
It’s impossible to know where this path is going to lead them but they both know they won't come back from this.  
Each touch makes them surer than before that this is meant to be, even with the ghost of their fallen friend around them.  
  
They decide not to let things go too steamy in the car but they sure go back as fast as they can, almost running like children to Steve’s apartment.  
  
They’ll think tomorrow. Tonight is for discovery, for love, for them.  
  
Steve undress Bucky with his eyes at first and then literally.His hands wants to learn Bucky’s body.  
His pull over is the first to leave the muscular body.  
Bucky against a wall, they aren’t even making it to the bedroom.  
  
Steve’s mouth feels like the sweetest burn on his lips then his neck. He hopes his mama, bless her soul, can’t hear the moans he is letting out from heaven.  
He shivers when a finger accidentally brushes against his nipple and Steve, excessively observant, smiles before letting his mouth go south.  
Bucky wants to stop him, not let him touch the cicatrices he bears on his torso.  
He never let anyone touch them before.  
  
“Nnn- Ah!” He lets escape as Steve imprisons the brownish tip in his mouth and get it erected in a few seconds.  
  
His metal hand slides in the blond hair to help him keep his last bit of control. The dick still in his pants is hurting him.  
  
With urgency, he makes them exchange places. This is the sweetest revenge, getting Steve all red.  
He kisses him more, then goes on his knees and when Steve starts to say that he doesn’t has to, he grabs the brown pants, look him in the eye and commands “open it”  
  
Steve takes a deep breath then executes himself.  
In seconds, he is only in his blue boxer, his erection palpitating slowly against it.  
  
Bucky kisses the fabric first, smiles at the wet spot growing from the tip. Slowly, he pushes the underwear down. Steve’s penis almost jumps out and Bucky takes his time to look, to touch, to kiss it.  
  
The first time he takes it in his mouth, Steve accidentally hits the wall which makes Bucky laugh.  
They decide to move it to the bedroom finally and take off the remaining clothes. Neither of them actually talk until Steve is basically between Bucky’s legs and they can’t ignore that his cock is rubbing against Bucky’s tight entrance. Since Bucky is moving to follow the movement, the intent is clear.

  
  
“We really don’t have to, you know”

  
  
“You can say “fuck” Rogers” Bucky teases to diffuse his own nervousness.

  
  
“Yeah. We don’t have to fuck. It’s already nice that we-uh, actually how would you describe what we-are or are doing?”

  
  
Steve feels suddenly extremely unsure of the whole thing. Three seconds ago, he was licking his best friend and now it does not feel like the title is appropriate anymore.  
  
Bucky strokes Steve’s arms, then his shoulders and finally his cheeks.

  
  
“You are an idiot”

  
  
“Hey!”

  
  
“If you don’t know. I don’t either” Bucky pouts, legs still in the air because of Steve. It doesn’t stop him from having an attitude.

  
  
“This is not- Buck’ I just want to be sure we both are going in this knowingly. We are both hurt and it would be unfair to everyone if we were doing this for the wrong reasons,” Steve says more seriously.  


  
Bucky frown “I am doing it because I love you Steve. It took us too long and I don’t want to waste more time. Do you know what is unfair? Seeing you die and having to fight with YOUR fucking best friend before he freaking dies too to make you come back”  
He moves so that he sits properly.  
“You and I are here now. I want you”  
  
Steve kisses Bucky, forgetting about anything and anyone that isn’t the man under him.  


  
“You’re mine now then”

  
  
“You’re so cringey” Bucky says, turning his head away “I always were”

* * *

  
  
  
They decide to keep their new status mostly private at first, only their closest friends are given the information which still include Natasha despite the whole necklace and resurrection debacle.  
  
They don’t tell her as much as they show her by a quick kiss in the kitchen while bringing some snacks during a movie night with Wanda, Peter and Shuri.  
She doesn’t comment but there’s a moment of intense thinking before putting back her usual mask to carry on what she was doing.

Most of their friends are supportive, but there's something in Clint eyes when they told him that feel a bit judgmental. It doesn't last bit they've seen it. All they know for certain is that it isn't homophobia since he knew neither of them were straight for a long time. He congratulates them of course and Steve takes a few days to actually ask him what this was about.

"Nothing, Captain"

"Come on, Clint, I know you have a problem with me and Bucky"

"No, I don't. I just taught of Sam, that's all" he shrugs.

"You think he would disapprove?" Steve asks letting his insecurity show.

"Nah, he would be happy for you I guess. Well, at least he would pretend but since I am not sure which one of you he actually had feeling for, it's weird. Anyway, this is none of my business, truly, I was just tired, I'm sorry"

Unfortunately for Steve, it was getting an echo in him. He could only hope Sam wouldn't be angry if he knew, or if he was still here. That said, Steve can't, with confidence, say that the outcome would have been the same if neither of them died. It's a blade right against his heart preventing him to be fully at peace.

* * *

  
  
_Four months later_

  
Steve opens his eyes with his throat tight.  
Sitting on the bed, he looks around him but Bucky’s already gone.  
He wonders if he knows what day today is, aware of it like Steve is aware of the loss.  
  
They stopped talking about him after a few weeks.  
  
When the pain just wouldn’t go away and the guilt still looked at them back in the mirror, they started dealing with it alone, both in their own way and both with lackluster results.  
  
He takes a shower, put some clothes on, doesn’t eat anything and goes on with his day. He has no news from Bucky and isn’t sure how he feels about that today. They aren't attached by the hip but it sting a little.  
  
It’s eleven in the morning and the itch to go see _him_ is unbearable.  
He gets out of the monitoring room he was in and where an agent was giving him the last piece of information on a future mission.  
  
He seems to wake up from his autopilot mode only when he is already on the road. He is so distracted that he needs a minute to actually understand where he is going and why the music playing in the car was, from what he learned, 90’s R&B.  
The kind of music Sam would sing and sway his hips to in the way that got Steve mesmerized and warm.  
  
He could pretend it was just another day, but it wasn’t. Not for him.  
  
So he parks an hour later in the cemetery, a few people walking and standing here and there. A burial, people crying.  
He hates this place.  
  
From afar, he can see the part of the cemetery where Sam is.  
Darlene is the one who chose the place and she wanted to keep it simple. The only “fancy” request she took was to have him a bit isolated.  
  
There’s already two people Steve never saw before and he doesn’t feel like talking to someone alive right now so he patiently waits for them to leave before approaching.  
  
He feels stupid, not having even brought a flower. His resting place definitely had thoughtful people coming by, judging by the beautiful arrangements around and candles still burning on an improvised hotel.  
  
Not only does he feels stupid but his guilt his acting full force because Sam saved him and gave his life for him and he couldn’t, not even once, find the strength to come back here to see him.  
  
He couldn’t.  
  
He has such a hard time properly manage his emotions since he came back from the dead, he had no idea what good would emerge from coming here. He knows Bucky did come more than once, he suggested to go together on two separate occasions. Each time, Steve found an excuse.

  
  
“I’m sure Bucky asked you this already, but I have to do it as well Sam. Why did you do this?” He starts, bitterness with waves of anger not that far away.  
“Everything is wrong about what you did. You know that right? And I’m not even allowed to be furious at you because I am alive now and you’re not”  
He turns back, trying to leave this place behind him but can’t move far and after two minutes, he is once again looking at the tombstone of Samuel Thomas Wilson, Caring brother, Loving Son and Avenger.  
  
They should add “Biggest idiot in the world” Steve thinks to himself.  
  
“I’ll never be able to repay that debt Wilson. I’ll never-“ His breath is stuck in his throat for a second.  
“I fucking miss you Sam. Do you hear me? And I hate that you left us. I HATE IT. Maybe I hate you too- No, I can’t hate you like that, I think. But this is close” He tries to calm himself, wiping some tears.  
“It hurts, being here without you. Every day”

  
The thought of having Sam’s body rotting under his feet are unbearable to him so he leaves, feeling cold, lonely and disgusted.

The same day, Bucky wakes up when it’s still dark outside. Steve is sleeping next to him, his hair long enough to fall in front of his closed eyelids.

He gets out of the bed without waking him up and walks to the bathroom. He sees himself, walking behind Sam that one time, following him into his bathroom and walk in the shower after him.

It seems like a lifetime ago.

He gets out, looks at the door, put a shirt on and leave silently. He still has access to Sam’s apartment. He made sure nobody would change a thing inside besides taking out the food.

Today, it’s Sam birthday.

It should have been anyway but he isn’t here.

“I don’t understand,” he says “You were supposed to be the least prone to do this among us”

He goes in the bedroom, grabs one of his worn shirt, forever waiting on the back of his chair and just falls on the bed. He tries to smell Sam on the clothes without any success and it frustrates him. He wants to feel him, forget that he is gone. It is too much to ask?

“How can you not tell us the truth Sam? I fucking trusted you”

He complains and does it until the sun comes up and then he cries, throwing the pillows and the t shirt away with anger.

“You ain’t shit Wilson! You hear me? YOU AIN’T SHIT, FUCK YOU”

Then he curls on the bed and stays angry until he falls asleep.

When he wakes up, a few hours later, he stays in bed a bit more before walking to the living room. He sits on the couch, reaches for his phone, opens Spotify to find a playlist Sam shared with him to introduce him to the music he liked years before. He plays random and the notes starts to fill the room. He smiles despite himself, “A night to Remember” is the kind of song Sam would have dance to. He would have tried to make Steve dance too. At least, Steve is a better dancer now. Then he would have turned to Bucky, shaking his body while singing. He never danced with Sam and there’s no good reason to it.

He'll never dance with Sam and he can do nothing about it.

The thing is, he got Steve back, which is great, but he can’t forget that someone died for it to happen. Is he supposed to be okay? Especially since his feelings toward Sam are, to this day, a bit complicated.

Even if they don’t talk about him, the reason why they are together is partially because Sam isn’t here anymore and it hurts. He wanted to be with Steve, really, but that night, the two of them kissed. So what would have happened if no one had to die? Would Steve and he be together?

Thinking about it makes him angry again.

“Fucking Sam Wilson”


	10. Gift

Two crisis later, Natasha truly believes she finally would and should be able to enjoy some down time. Just a few days far from everything and everyone with a high risk to bring her problems seems like the best thing that could happen to her.  
She warns the team beforehand but only tells Clint where she will be gone.

  
“When are you coming back again?” Bucky asks from the inside of the jet.  
He checks the last modifications with several agents, making sure it has no secret to him.

  
  
“I didn’t say. This is my holidays. Do you know what holidays means grandpa? It’s when people take time to themselves and don’t jump from a problem to the next”

  
  
“First of all, I do not do that. Steve does”

  
  
“What is the second point of your argumentation?” She asks when it’s evident that Bucky doesn’t have anything more to say contrary to what the start of his sentence would suggest.

  
  
He shrugs, sending two agents away with a “good job”. The jet is perfectly fine.  
  
“Well, have fun then. I hope it will end better than Scott’s”

  
  
Natasha rolls her eyes. It’s not that Scott is disorganized as much as his propensity to be particularly unlucky the second he tries to organize something pleasing for himself.

  
“Don’t jinx me” she warns, turning away with a hand movement.

  
  
She does see Steve too on her way out. Judging by his attire, he is going to the gym.  
She simply walks to him and answers his “Hey Natasha” with a “Take your man somewhere warm and nice. Life is more than just Avenging Rogers”  
She is laughing at his attempts to justify himself, going out of the facility and to the most discreet car on the exterior parking she knows is waiting for her.  
  
She isn’t actually all that far away considering she is used to travel the world but there’s a good reason for her to be in Providence actually.  
  
They have a spa.  
  
She was perplex too when Steve, Bucky and Sam offered it to her a while ago. She has been even more surprised to see that the gift was still available. She honestly thought back then that she would never go but it was a three days all-in and Sam had insisted that she would like it in that way of him suggesting that there was more to it than what the site would say.  
  
The idea emerged again after the anniversary of his death. Sometimes she would do random thing reminding her of him and this was one of those.  
She wants to tell Bucky and Steve about where she was going but Sam is still a difficult topic.  
  
She arrives by night, the majority of the parking spots are occupied. From where she is, the place itself it doesn’t look like much.

  
  
“Hi, how can I help you?” The man at the reception welcomes with a smile. He is cute with his red bow tie and eyes darker than his skin.

  
  
“Hi, I have a reservation. Bowen”

  
  
He taps her name and seems genuinely happy with whatever he reads.

  
  
“But of course. You can let your luggage here and follow me for the tour”

  
  
Natasha already went in fancy spas before, but this isn’t it. The real deal is the underground complex and she can see that more than one customer and employee are not fully human. Some can pass more or less and she finds it a pleasant surprise.

  
  
“We has also been warned to give you this,” he says, showing her a medium size envelope that she takes with a raised eyebrow. She is guided to a room where her things are waiting for her. She’s left wondering how much this whole thing is costing.  
  
The envelope is opened quickly and there’s a picture of Steve, Sam, Bucky and her smiling at a party inside.  
  
They look so happy.  
  
On the back of it, they all have made a little something. Bucky had “Don’t forget to be happy” written in Russian, Steve made a quick drawing of her with a pen and Sam wrote, “To the most beautiful and frightening lady I know after my mama” which makes her laugh.  
  
She touches the picture with a soft smile and put it on the table near the door before her body decides to create some tears.

  
  
She opts to try a massage on the first night and registers to a ten o clock appointment. A woman with glowering brown skin and long black hair is going out of her room at the same time, a fluffy looking green bathrobe around her.  
The customer looks at Natasha then smile, her eyes dropping at bit in apparent embarrassment before she quickly walks away.  
  
Natasha can’t deny that she likes the reaction, hoping for a second that she will see her again.  
  
The massage is surprisingly good. The masseuse may only have one arm but she knows what she is doing with it to the point where Natasha has to consciously raise her defenses throughout the process.  


Her next mission is to eat. She is curious to see what the restaurant provides considering the population.  
  
Looking at the large screen near the restaurant entrance is the same woman again, large sweatpants and even larger sweat, she looks comfy enough to make Natasha come closer to look at the menu as if her sigh wasn’t allowing her to see perfectly from where she was before.  
  
Smooth.  
  
There is ten blood category separated by rhesus, sex and a few nationalities like a bar would list its cocktail.  
Her mouth opens slightly.

  
  
“The waiters are really nice, if you don’t find anything for you in here, you can ask them to prepare something I believe” the woman provides.

  
  
Natasha looks at her, her eyes, big and shiny, have a little something that makes her thinks that the woman is older than she looks.

  
  
“Actually, they have something that seems quite promising” she answers with a tone deliberately almost flirtatious and vague enough.

  
  
Maybe she has not caught on it or isn’t interested because the answer is simply “Well, have a nice diner in that case”

  
  
She still turns to look at Natasha one last time before disappearing in an hallway.  
  
Natasha didn’t lie when she said that she had found something promising, that Portuguese middle age blood had a little kick to it that was quite pleasant.  
  
She hadn’t heard a lot about places like this and feels refreshed only being here for a few hours.  
She goes to sleep, after checking every security just in case, with her mind less heavy.

  
  
Natasha is a little disappointed that she couldn’t even enjoy twenty four hours of tranquility.  
She sees the woman three times before noon the next day and it start to be painfully obvious that whoever she is, she is spying on her.  
  
So Natasha waits in front of the restaurant at noon past twelve, letting the dozen clients go in to enjoy a good meal.  
  
The woman appears, blue jean and white pull over, not even pretending not to have seen Natasha.

  
  
“So, why are you here exactly?” Natasha asks directly, not moving.

  
  
“I work for someone who would like to meet you, Mister Frost”

  
  
Natasha could use her own clothes to strangle her just because of the name.

  
  
“You can tell him that when we will see each other again, I’ll kill him, so he shouldn’t be pressed”

  
  
The woman lift her pull to reveal her belly. When she passes her hand on it, something from inside start to glow to reveals numbers. A count-down.

  
  
“What is that?”

  
  
“A bomb. Frost “recruited” many people in need and are using us to find you. If we succeed we will get money but if we fail- he is planning to send a public video in two days to force you out, using this threat as bait” she informs. Her tone is calm but her face shows how much she hates to be here suddenly.

  
  
“You seems to know a lot”

  
  
She shakes her head “Not really. He was honest about what we were getting into and when people are in difficult situations; they have to make hard decisions”

  
  
So Deacon put a prize on her head. Of course he would be using people to go after her. How can he finds way to be even crasser that he already was?  
She should inform the other as fast as possible.

  
  
“You understand I have to warn my team right?”

  
  
“I do not care. All I am asking you is for you to go with me so that this nightmare can stop, please”

  
  
Natasha sights “What’s your name?”

  
  
“Babita”

  
“Ok Babita. Let’s go then”

  
  
Natasha gets in contact with the Team, planning the intervention carefully. It all goes down the drain when Babita gets a call from Frost himself asking to talk to Natasha.

  
  
“Meet me at the Lincoln Medical Center, if any one of your Avenger friend show up in the whole city, I’ll know and I’ll blow every one of my agents. Clear?”

  
  
“Perfectly” she answers with an even tone, sending the info to the team at the same time while Babita is driving.

  
  
She puts her magical earring on, not about to let this fool control her once again and just in case he had found more necromancers.  
  
Scott and Hope aren’t here, denying them a good joker. The others may be a risk too big to test out so Rhodey and Wanda stays outside the city while Steve and Bucky are above the hospital in a jet. She hopes they are too high to be detected.  
  
When they arrive in front of the hospital, nothing seems out of the ordinary.

  
  
“Between us-“ Babita says right before Natasha gets out “if anything happens to him, nobody will be sad”

  
  
Natasha winks at her and walks to the edifice where two of his men escort her to the roof without being stopped by anyone which makes her wonder how powerful is Frost network.  
  
On the roof, Deacon is here, looking at the streets below.  
  
Two large men with tattoos on their face are sitting on two boxes of different size.  
  
“Finally, you actually made me waste quite some time little Widow”  
Natasha doesn’t care one bit. She just calculate how she can kill them all as fast as possible.  
“I am here to collect my investment”

  
“What are you talking about?”

  
  
He makes a hand movement and one of the men, the one sitting on the smallest box, gets up and comes to her. She is ready to attack him but he simply opens his shirt to present his neck.  
  
“Bite him”  
  
Natasha is perplexed at first, surely he knows her bite-  
  
“If this is about your serum, it’s out of my system already,” she says with a sadistic pleasure. Seeing his anger right under the surface makes her smile.

  
  
“Well. The only way it would be out is if you already bitten someone so you better find them quickly otherwise it will be boom boom party all around”

  
  
The smile doesn’t last for long. This idiot doesn’t know she bit Sam the very night they took her.  
  
  
  
“I can’t”

  
  
“You can’t or you don’t want to?”

  
  
“I can’t because he is dead already”

  
  
The two men look at Deacon with a closed face and Natasha wonders what exactly is there relationship because he doesn’t seem to command them judging by the slight panicking face he pulls before reassuring them.  
  
“You cannot honor your contract Frost” the other man says, his hand reaching for his phone.

  
  
“Wait. It’s just a delay”

  
  
“You can’t do it again; this is what you told him. This is why he allowed you to have your necromancers and you lost them too. He won’t be pleased”

  
  
“THIS IS JUST A DELAY!” Frost screams, already coming closer to Natasha “Is the body still intact?”  
No, she won’t let him use Sam. No way.  
Her silence props him to continue, “It better be, because otherwise-“

  
  
He walks to the larger box, making the other man move on the side. At the same time a dozen person, all in black come on the roof around them from the stairs. They are armed from head to toe.  
He does a code on his phone and the lid of the box opens slightly so that he can push it completely.  
  
Natasha walks to them. Whatever is in that box, Frost is pointing a gun to them.  
  
Clint is here, beaten, but alive. He is unconscious. She really didn’t need more reasons to hate Frost and somehow he kept adding to the fire.

  
“Now, Widow. Where’s the bitten one?”

  
  
She can’t betray Sam like that, but she can’t see how she would be able to prevent Frost from firing without risking Clint’s life. Especially with all the operatives around them.  
  
Frost really planned it well, even if none of those resources seems to be actually his.

  
  
“I do not know who it was, only that by the time I noticed something was off, he was already dead” she lies immediately.

  
  
She should have known he wouldn’t fall for that.  
Frost sights then repeats the same operation he did with the other box.  
This time, because she is facing the wind, the smells hits her before she sees who is inside. Nothing could have prepared her to his other way of forcing her to collaborate.  
  
She knows that smell well and she could just jump to tear Frost to shreds because of what he is doing.  
  
Lila is here, apparently sleeping inside the box, not even a blanket around her.

  
  
“How dare you touch a child?”

  
  
“This is hardly the first time or the worst thing I did to a child and you know it so answer my question before I wake up one of the two only to kill the other in front of them”

  
He is losing patience and the situation is escaping Natasha like it rarely does.  
  
She has no way of getting out of it while protecting Lila, Clint and Sam.  
She closes her eyes, silently asking her dead friend for forgiveness.

  
  
“Let them both go and I’ll tell you who it is”

  
  
“No. You tell me now or I put a bullet in their head”

  
  
She has to keep her calm and play tight if she hopes to bring them somewhere safe.  
The team is listening as well and she does not think they will take lightly the fact that she bit Sam, even if she was manipulated at the time.

  
“Better yet, I’ll guide you to his body. I’ll make sure the team doesn’t follow you. This is the best you’ll have, with what you already did, you know if someone gets hurt, you won’t escape us again right?”

  
  
Frost thinks about it, after all, the name itself doesn’t matter.

  
  
“Well, warn your friends then. I am not cruel; I will not touch a father and his daughter. I am just a businessman with a pressing investor”

  
  
Natasha wants nothing more than make sure he suffers ten thousand death. Her priority is to make sure Clint and Lila are safe.

  
  
“Widow here. I’ll go with Frost. In ten, come get Hawkeye. They have another- make sure they are both okay. Do not follow us”

  
  
“Copy” Steve’s voice answers after two seconds.

  
  
She doesn’t need to see him to know he disagrees with her plan; “ _Copy_ ” is what he tends to say when he is forced to agree to something he does not want to do.  
Looking at Frost, she waits until he makes sign for her to follow and they all move back in the hospital then out of it to reach a cohort of black vans waiting outside.  
  
They actually don’t ask her where to go and she understands that, first, they have to make sure they won’t be followed. Not very trusty aren’t they?  
  
It’s a complicated dance of hidden roads that shouldn’t be here, vehicles changes and, for her, wearing an anti-tracking suit.  
  
By the end of it, they are four in one car and four in another. Frost is in the other, making sure that at the second something weird happens; he can make her regret.  
  
It takes more than an hour but he finally ask her where to go. One of the men in the car with her uses his phone to show her a live video of various people with the term “operative” and a number on the screen. They are so many of them; she can easily imagine the chaos it would bring if Frost decided to carry out his threat. Well, she can play nice.  
  
When they finally arrive at the cemetery, it will soon be completely dark.  
  
Natasha is already feeling horrible and it isn’t helped by the fact that there’s three old men right in front of Sam’s tombstone.

  
  
“Is it here?” Frost asks with barely concealed impatience.

  
  
She nods.  
  
He smiles.  
  
His men make sure the visitors leave quickly.  
She thanks her good star Sam isn’t in the middle of the cemetery. It wouldn’t have stopped Frost from whatever he is about to do anyway.

  
  
“Sam Wilson, the Falcon. How ironic” he laughs before turning to the two tattooed men with them, which are apparently really in charge here by proxy “He is the one who killed the necromancers and now he will work for me. I mean for you, of course”

  
  
“Of course” they both repeat.

  
  
Frost takes a good inspiration then turns to the four agents with them. They drop their heavy looking bag and are able to produce three functioning shovel thanks to what is inside.  
  
Natasha feels stupid. Of course, they are going to get Sam out. What did she expected? It doesn’t stop her from sending a murderous look in Frost direction. Does he care? Not at all.  
  
She wonders what will happen when they’ll see the cadaver inside. It’s been a year after all.  
  
Once they get the casket out, they don’t even take a break before opening it in front of them. Natasha has a really hard time not to let her surprise show.  
  
The body is looking intact.

  
  
“It’s a good things you didn’t lie Miss Romanov. The serum did wonder, look how fresh he is, you could think he died today” he comments proudly.

  
  
“ **You** are lucky it worked yes,” one of the tattooed corrects, once again reminding Frost of his place.

  
  
If Frost looks frustrated for a moment, he goes back to his usual self and turns to Natasha.

  
  
“Well. Do it, what are you waiting for?”

  
  
“What are you talking about?”

  
  
“Feed him your blood. You know. To sire him” he adds, the “ _stupid woman_ ” not far, if his tone is anything to go by.

  
  
“He is dead for months, you can’t sire someone that far after they are dead” she answers even if she doubts this would apply here for some reason.

  
  
“That’s why we gave you the serum. Do you think I would not be prepared? The body is preserved for way longer than with a regular bite”

  
  
It’s still letting one major flaw in the plan that Natasha is glad to point out.

  
  
“He won’t be working for you. I don’t even understand why you needed me for to begin with”  


“Well, To make more of your kind. I have someone paying a very good amount to have his own army and as you may know, it’s really hard to kill someone like you. Besides, it's primordial than who do this correctly”  
Frost smiles again.  
  
Natasha’s jaw tighten. She hopes whatever he has prepared to control Sam; she will be able to break it. Last thing they need is Frost using Sam’s body like a puppet. Not for the first time she thinks about Steve and Bucky and what they will say when they’ll know about that.  
It won’t take them long to put two and two together when they’ll see Sam walking around and link that with Frost obsession with her.  
  
Another problem is that Sam explicitly said that he did not want to be a vampire or whatever he is about to come back as.  
Even if she manages to stop Frost, Sam will still have to “live” with that.

  
  
“The serum isn’t in my system anymore Frost” she explains not even to buy time. They did check with Helen. No trace.

  
  
He rolls his eyes “Give.Him.Your.Blood.Now”

  
  
She looks at the others and they are looking back at her. How can Frost be so sure of himself?  
  
_What if you could make everything turn alright?_ Another voice in her head asks. _What if you could bring back Sam and make sure he is okay in the end?_  
  
Therefore, she walks to the body and Frost walks with her, placing himself in front of her from the other side of the casket.  
  
She is supposed to give Sam her blood, then what?  
She never did that in her whole life so she does the same thing she saw other vampires do before her.  
Using the blade Frost is providing her, she cut her forearm then opens Sam’s mouth to let the blood drip inside of it.  
  
At the same time, Frost is saying something that suspiciously sounds like an incantation.

  
  
“Ô mother. Conqueror of realms, Queen of the underworld, send us back a soul. Bring your servant back to life to fulfill your will”

  
  
She wonders who he is praying to. It doesn’t seems to be all that efficient for now and he turns nervously an eye to the group near them.

  
  
“Come on, wake up” he says to the body.

  
  
“Nothing is happening. Is this normal?” The more silent tattooed man says to no one in particular, clearly doubting Frost ability to keep his engagement.

  
  
Frost turns to Sam, taps his cheek.

  
  
“Hey! Wake the fuck up!”

  
  
Sam, even before opening his eyes, knows that he isn't in hell anymore. How? Because he felt a part of his soul being ripped apart as he was forced back to life in the middle of one of Hela’s training session.  
  
She didn't do much to stop him from leaving but she made sure he would be coming back to him should he die again.  
  
And that’s, in insight, is very generous of her considering she could have destroyed his very being. Apparently, she took a liking in him. Not enough to see him as some sort of equal, of course not, but like a pet maybe. She is weird (and with a gigantic ego) like that.  
  
Back to the here and now, his senses are hurting him. Everything seems too much for a few seconds that seems way too long. He feels like ants are crawling on and inside his skin as if his being was trying to adjust to his body.  
Maybe it is.  
  
He opens his eyes, the full moon very bright above them. Of course, they brought him back on a full moon, how original.  
  
He knows someone is talking not far from him but for now, he simply tries to move a bit and sit.  
Is it weird that he notices how confortable the casket is?. Turning his head, he can see the tombstone with his name on it. He shouldn’t be surprised but he is. He was dead, they buried him. That makes sense.

  
  
”Hey!” the voice says loudly on his right.

  
  
Visibly annoyed, he looks at him. Deacon Frost. Then he sees the other men, weapons in hands and for two of them, weird tattoos on the face.

  
  
”Sam?”

  
  
Natasha. She is here too.  
  
Now, he feels conflicted.  
  
Hela liked to make him face his ”friends”, conditioning him to be loyal only to her which- after the hundred times you have to kill them, even if you ”know” it’s not them, it start to mess you up.  
Plus, it means that somehow, she has a role in his resurrection and considering the situation, it can only mean that they brought him back either as a zombie or to make him a vampire.  
It occurs to him that he has no idea for how long he was dead.

  
  
”Not this shit again,” he says, getting up to step out of his ”resting place” (he wasn't resting at all but that’s beside the point).

  
  
Deacon seems happy ”Now Mister Wilson, you have no idea how long I was waiting for this-”

  
  
He points a half transparent looking gun and fire.  
Sam barely manage not to get hit and roll on the ground.

  
  
”Stop, or we kill her. Believe us, we will succeed” a man says while holding Natasha by the neck against a tree. Super strength.  
He knows the real Natasha would be able to break his hold. Unless there’s a reason for her not to.  
  
What is going on here?  
  
While he tries to make sense of the situation and himself, he feels a sharp pain in his back, tries to turn to see what it is but his vision gets blurry really quick and his body stops to answer.  
If somehow he managed to escape hell, was he going to get back so soon?  



	11. Breathe

When Sam wakes up, again, he is in a closed grey room with nothing inside. Not a chair, a bed, a desk or window, only one door Sam knows he won’t be able to open by brute force.

  
His body hurts. He tries to massage his arm but it only leads to more pain so he stops. Instead he grabs his legs closer to his chest. He is tired of all of this, people using him and hurting him.  
  
He hears a sound coming from outside, closer to the door, it opens slowly and a man enters.  
His clothes are white except for his shoes and belt are grey, long black wavy hair put in a ponytail.  
In evidence at his belt, there is a small dagger. Nothing like the one the necromancer used, just a regular (looking) one.  
  
He looks like a model and Sam wonder what is going on.  
  
He says nothing, comes in front of Sam and proposes his hand. Sam isn't sure what he wants but he just is over it all so he gives him his own hand, hoping that he will do whatever that he wants to do and leave him alone. It doesn't feel like Hell but he knows he can't be sure with Hela. She already tricked him this way he remembers, making him believe that he was back. He learned his lesson since then.  
  
The man simply massages his hand and Sam’s does feel better in his skin. He smiles at him but Sam recognizes a sad smile when he sees one. He wants to ask him where they are but when his lips start to move, the man put a finger on them, shushing him.  
The way he touches him makes Sam shiver. It's not with lust but his body respond to that man weirdly.  
He smells good. So good. Like mamey, vanilla, and something spicy. He smells **delicious** , this is the word he is looking for, delicious.  
The man smile grows wider but his eyes- there are tears in them.  
  
Sam knows that this isn't a trick. This isn't one of Hella’s training. He is alive and someone, probably Frost, is trying to use him.  
  
The man pushes him a bit just so he can sit it Sam’s lap, kiss his jaw, his ear. Sam is confused and still hurt.

  
  
”They’ll try to control you right after. Don’t let them” he whispers.  
  
Sam frowns, just uses a hand to tap lightly on the man's tight, hoping to signal that he is listening. Frost must be observing somehow.  
  
”He has a detonator. Take it from him. You can’t let them win”  
  
Another tap. The man kisses him. Look in his eyes. Sam can feel how brave and determined to make Frost pay he is.  
  
”You know what to do,” he says, presenting his neck to him.

  
  
”Tell me your name” Sam demands. It may be a detail, but the man deserves better than dying like that. This is the person who will seal his transformation after all. Sam could say no, make a scene, get one kick and a punch to someone but in the end, he can either try to let himself die, maybe use the dagger the man has or-  
Or he can embrace whatever he is or will become and make sure he stops Frost and the ones working with him.

  
  
The man looks at him ”Daniel”

  
  
Sam nods then take the dagger, put the other hand on the man’s cheek and makes a cut deep enough to draw blood in his neck.  
  
He tries to keep himself aware of everything, putting his mouth on the cut, not wanting to make Daniel suffer more than necessary. He is reluctant to actually drink, but when he does-  
  
He never experienced anything like this before.  
  
He physically feels his soul being lifted from his body before being slapped back into it as he changes.  
He feels the power, the strength.  
The hunger.  
  
He can taste the exact moment the man dies and a violent headache makes Sam let the body fall on the floor.  
Dozens, hundreds maybe of external thoughts dancing in his head. He can’t make sense of them, he feels his mind connecting to something, or someone, he isn't sure.

Just as Daniel said, two men enters the room.  
  
If the first time he drinks blood changed his body, the second time, it changes his mind.  
Before he can notice it, he is as power hungry as he was in hell the first couple of time he consumed a soul. The strength he feels is different because he didn't have a physical body back then yet similar enough for him to get a quick hold of it.

  
  
He will have to test his body later but one thing is sure, no one here expected him to be this strong, starting with the two dead bodies who joined Daniel's.

They aren't the only one and he manages to get rid of at least six person with no one being able to ring the alarm.  
  


He has to be careful with how much blood he drinks he learns, but the hunger doesn’t really go and now he feels drunk. He leaves the room he was in only to see a man quickly approach in the hallway, alone this time.  
  
He is tall, taller than Thor even with tattoos on his face, sharp thin and thick lines on the right side.

  
  
”You are coming with me”

  
  
Sam scoffs, looking around him just in case someone else would want to join.

  
  
”You think you can stop me? You can’t even prevent yourself from getting killed. At least the others had guns”

  
  
The man frowns.  
It isn’t hard to know that he is stronger than he looks but when Sam dodges the first punch and it breaks the bedroom’s door, it definitely put some spices to the fight.  
  
Still, even drunk from drinking at least three people’s blood in a very short time, he feels pumped. With that energy, not getting touched is almost a game.  
The man is strong, yes, but if he can’t land a punch, he is useless here. Too bad, he doesn’t have super speed Sam notices.  
He tries not to laugh at his failed attempts, which gets him even more frustrated by the second as Sam jumps, steps away and- Oh, floats for a few seconds.  
  
Since he surprises himself with that one, it gives the man the opportunity to finally hit him and oh boy, it stings.  
Somewhere in his mind, he knows it should hurt much more and he is glad he doesn't have human physiology for the first time.  
  
The man tries to land a second blow but Sam decides that he played enough with his food and simply takes an enhanced jump to the man thorax.  
When Sam manages to draw blood with a nice punch in the teeth, his senses are going even crazier. He can smell that this isn’t a regular human. Something almost sweeter in the sent. Quicker than the man can follow, Sam lend a nasty kick in his knee, breaking it.  
  
He doesn't have the time to scream that his face is against the wall, Sam pressing behind him with one arm painfully bent in his back.  
He tries to escape but the vampire is stronger than him.

  
  
”No-” he implores, but it’s way too late.

  
  
”Shouldn’t have come to me if you didn't want to get eaten. Bon apétit”

Sam was right; the power he gets from the blood is nothing like what he tasted before. Granted his experience is quite short but it’s as distinct as drinking wine and tequila.  
  
He drinks until he, himself, can’t stand straight then lets the man die on the floor. Damn, he can't walk straight. He doesn't even know where he is and where he is going. How does he ends up in that sort of laboratory? He doesn't know. What he does know is that there's people who look like prisoners. 

They are nine or ten; he can't count very well right now.  
Didn't that guy told him to save someone? Fuck, how can he save someone like this? Who would task a newborn vampire with something as important?  
A fool, that’s who.  
  
They look at him with fear in their eyes, at least he thinks that’s fear because his sight is adjusting and it would necessitate to focus and focus is a no-can-do right now. Damn migraine.  
  
Besides, he may like blood now but he won’t risk their life when Frost is somewhere here with people trying to use him. Yeah, he should kill them.  
He starts to walk out when he remembers that there are people in the room. He is very drunk.

  
  
”Uh, someone is going to help you, I guess,” he says unsure.

  
  
He leaves without more, not wanting to feel tempted to taste them. It sobers him up a little but he still can’t walk in a straight line and can’t control the even more supernatural strength he possesses.  
  
Passing in front of another seemingly empty room, he hears bird's chipping inside. He has to force a little, breaking the handle, to enter.  
  
It’s nothing special, a TV, a couch- but also, an open window.  
The birds are here, peeping at him before flying out of the room in some sort of invitation.  
  
His vision is so much better than before he has a hard time associating the way things look now with how they were before. As if someone perpetually put a filter on his eyes. From here, he can see four armed men.

At first, he wanted to go find Frost but he quickly dismissed the idea. There’s no way he would be able to defeat him like this. He will have to deal with him later.  
  
Reaching for his own power is almost the same as doing it in Hell, he can’t say that he masters it but it’s enough to float a few inches above the floor in silence. When he is far enough, he starts to run instead.

  
  
Just because he is free doesn’t mean that he forgets about the others. He stops someone on the road and asks to call the police to at least let someone know that there are people in need. He doesn't have the addresses but thanks to this middle age woman who lives around he manages to give a perimeter to look for. He also talks about that detonator thing. What is it supposed to detonate? No idea.  
She proposes to drive him to the nearest city, even when he is still wearing the costume he got buried him (not that she could know) with blood on it.  
He refuses, not trusting himself not to bite her on their way. The hunger doesn't leave.  
  
Thinking about his new situation, he may not have wanted to be a vampire but one thing is sure, he won’t let someone else controls him again anytime soon.  
  
  


* * *

  
  
When Natasha sees Vision’s face right above hers through the lid of the casket Frost tied her in, she has to admit that she has been a bit scared. She thought that they would get the casket out before opening it. It made way more sense to send in someone who could check what was happening inside without disturbing the dead if it was a false alarm.  
  
Vision couldn't alter somebody else so, in the end, they had to get her out of here the old fashioned way.  
Natasha’s personality makes her imagine a thousand excuses for why she is the one inside instead of Sam. In the end, once out, facing Vision, Wanda, Rhodey, Clint (looking better) and, of course, Bucky and Steve, she decides to tell the truth. The whole truth.  
If the two supersoldiers were shocked the first time because Sam had found a way to brings Steve back from the dead, try to guess how surprised and furious they are with Natasha biting Sam and neither of them telling anyone. Especially when they knew Natasha’s bite is lethal.

  
  
”I can’t believe it. You wouldn't lie and hide something that big from us for that long Natasha” Steve declares. He is shaking his head, taking it in his hands before turning his back to her.  
  
The rest of them are stunned and perched to Bucky and Steve’s reaction since they were the closest to Sam.

  
  
”This is so wrong-” Bucky spits with disgust, ”We swore we wouldn't hide something like this anymore. How can you stand here and just reveals that! Where the fuck is Sam’s body?!”

  
  
”I know you are angry but Frost’s took him. We have to find him”

  
  
”Why would he need Sam’s dead body?” Bucky asks with clear suspicion.

  
  
”Half dead I’ll say, like me”

  
  
Steve turns fast, taking, despite himself, a very menacing step. The others getting more nervous by the second.  
No one thinks that they would touch Natasha but no one wants to get in the way of a furious Bucky Barnes and certainly not Steve Rogers.

  
  
”What exactly-”

  
  
Natasha cuts Bucky ”His transformation into a vampire will be complete once he’ll bite someone. Frost has developed a way to make me sire more vampires and Sam is sort of the prototype”

  
  
”Shit”

  
  
”So, he is alive then?” Clint's wonders, troubled by all the revelation. ”They could be anywhere, how are we finding them?”

  
  
Steve and Bucky aren’t nearly done with the precedent topic but if Sam was in Frost’s hand, they need to save him. The concept of Sam being alive feels unreal.

  
  
”How did you find me?”

  
  
Wanda is the one answering, “When you arrived, one of Sam’s cousin was here; apparently you were rude enough for him to call the police. Plus, someone has this place under surveillance,” she adds.

Natasha remembers how Frost threatened the men who were here so she isn’t surprised.

  
They exchange more to try to have a lead but, like before, nothing seemed good enough to know where is Deacon Frost until a weird report to the Suffern Police point them exactly to where they need to be.  
The rapport is saying that a man named Frost was holding a dozen-person hostage and that he was extremely dangerous and a vampire.  
  
The world was weird enough for the call to be reported to more appropriate entities than the local police.

  
  
”Can we listen to the call?” Steve asks Vision on their way with too much hope.

  
  
Bucky immediately comes closer. Vision and Natasha were busy with some data but she is the one actually looking for the recording.  
She finds it not even a minute later and it’s not Sam’s voice at all, only a woman.  
  
Steve’s face becomes darker and he goes to sit.

  
  
”Don’t you think she seems a bit unsure?” Wanda notices.

  
  
Natasha agrees “As if someone was telling her what to say, yes”

  
  
”Does that mean that Sam escaped? Or that he is trying to rescue the people inside?” Bucky thinks out loud “or it’s a trap”

  
  
”The only way we can be sure is by going there” Steve concludes.  


  
Everyone is ready and so determined that once on the ground, it takes them only seven minutes to get Deacon Frost in handcuff and three more to rescue the civilians.

  
  
”It’s like he said,” an old man said to his wife with relief “they came”

  
  
”Who told you that? Wanda asks, as she makes sure everyone is okay.

  
  
”The man. He had a blue costume with blood on it but he seemed nice. Dark skin, goatee-”

  
  
Wanda blinks, she gets closer to the man, ”Can I see? It won’t hurt I promise”

  
  
The old couple shares a look then the man takes a small step ahead. Wanda lifts her hand next to his forehead and they glow red for an instant.  
It’s easy to reach the specific memory of suddenly seeing a black man looking half lost and half drunk looking at them as if they were aliens.  
In the memory, Sam seems hesitant, telling them that help was on the way before disappearing.  
  
Wanda thanks the couples and shares the information with the rest of the team, definitely confirming that Sam is alive and at least in control enough to talk and not just kill.  
  
Which is reassuring because they had to walk to many bodies to get to the prisoners and some of them definitely had holes in their neck. Still, Steve thanks the sky with red eyes.

  
  
Natasha is in the room where the body of the first victim is still laying on the ground.  
She can easily visualize how it had been. The room as only one access and no sign of struggle. In addition, instead of a bite mark, he has a clean cut, which means the man probably was the sacrifice to turn Sam.  
  
When she looks at Bucky behind her, there is a judgment in his eyes but she isn't sure about what. He can be quite hard to read when he wants to.  
  
In the end, they manage to clean the place even if they don’t have the name of the guy who actually hired Frost services, yet.  
Frost, of course, would say nothing. He still couldn't hide how angry he was that Sam not only escaped but had managed to shut his operation down as well.

* * *

  
  
”I can’t wait till he’s here,” Steve says with clear excitation. ”Maybe he is lost? He was dead for a while after all”

  
  
”Or maybe he doesn't care”

  
  
Steve stops, they barely got in their apartment, finally able to take some time to relax and reflect on the last development. If Steve tries to see the bright side of the eventful day, Bucky isn't on the same page at all.

  
  
”Of course he cares” Steve dismisses quickly, taking his boots off before walking to the kitchen.

  
  
”Steve, they both lied to us. Do you realize what they have done?” he replies once he can join him. ”What if Deacon never went after Natasha to complete his project?”

  
  
Steve frowns ”I am angry too but-”

  
  
”There is no BUT Steve. They lied to us. They lied and you act as if it doesn't matter. We only know the truth now because of that psycho”

  
  
It’s not that Steve thinks Bucky is wrong but Sam is alive and they will have the time to be angry at him after they find him. They’ll have their whole life for that.  
  
He follows Bucky in the bathroom.

  
  
”Natasha keeping secrets is nothing new. This is who she is and of course, I’m not saying that, here and now, it was the good choice” Steve continues because Bucky gives him the ”No kidding” look. ”All I’m saying is that when Sam is here we will talk about it. When- when you started being you again, you needed time right?”  
  
Bucky’s jaws are tight. Hands on the sink, he gives Steve a short look through the mirror on the wall.  
  
Slowly, Steve comes closer until he can put his hands on his shoulders.  
”Let’s take a shower,” he proposes then. Bucky doesn't answer but let Steve take off his tee shirt before his hands start to glide toward his belt.  
A kiss in the neck and Bucky starts to relax. Steve’s hands open his pants next, teasing Bucky’s manhood until it wakes up. His own is pressing against Bucky’s ass.  
  
Steve takes the lead, getting the both of them naked before stepping under the warm water. The flowery scented soap quickly covers them from head to toe. Bucky feels a bit of shame, letting Steve make sure he is clean in his most intimate places. Some of these touches are definitely less than innocent.

Even under the hot water, Bucky can distinctly feel the hotter tongue touch his rim.  
Steve does such a great job that, for someone who was angry just a few minutes before, he sure is pushing his ass on Steve’s face with enthusiasm.

  
”I know what you are doing”

  
  
”Yeah, eating your ass”

  
  
”No, you are trying to distract me but just for the record, I’ll still be angry after I cum”

  
  
Bucky feels more than he sees Steve pouting face. He feels satisfied.  
The blond definitely tries to make him forget and damn if the sex isn't good, but because he is petty like that, the first thing he says once they both are breathless is that he hates Sam Wilson and can’t wait to punch him in the face.  
Steve rolls his eyes but kisses him to shut him up.


	12. Eye contact

After twenty-four hours, Steve is getting cranky.  
Forty-eight hours later, he has a hard time not letting his frustration show.  
They don't have any lead so far to find Sam when they know he is out there. He isn't supposed to be that good at hiding. He has no tech, no money and nowhere to go that isn't under shield surveillance so how is it possible for him to not pop up?

If he is being honest, he is mad at Natasha, he adds “taught Sam to hide to well” to the list.

  
  
”Something happened to him, it’s the only possibility”

  
  
”Or he doesn't want to come back, Steve” Bucky throws casually. it’s the third time they have this conversation.

  
  
This time, Steve just scowls but doesn't add anything because he knows Bucky’s position on the subject and he refuses to believe that Sam would just disappear without a trace willingly.  
  
Then, on the third day, Scott Lang got a call at his house.  
It’s his daughter who actually answers the phone.  
Scott isn't far but since Cassie start to talk like she would do any relative, he doesn't think twice. He guesses that she will pass him the phone once she finishes telling all about her visit to the museum that day.  
That said when Cassie brings him the phone by saying ”Dad, it’s The Falcon”, he nearly chokes on his sparkling water, because he is fancy like that now.

  
  
”Hi?”

  
  
The amused voice of Sam Wilson answers ”Hey Tic Tac”

  
  
”Sam? Sam, oh my God, Sam, it’s you!”

  
  
”Yeah- well, more or less”

  
  
”Are you okay? Where are you?” Scott asks while keeping the phone as close as possible.

  
  
”I- Scott, I need you to make everyone stop looking for me, man”

  
  
Scott is silent for a second ”What? No!”

  
  
”Yes. I trust you buddy. Bye”

  
  
Sam hangs up and Scott lets a few seconds pass with total incredulity. Of course, he immediately takes Cassie to her mother, presenting his excuses and promising to be back as soon as possible.  
He feels lucky to have such an understanding ex.  
  
When he finally gets to the facility, he stops, mouth open to actually think about how he will tell them what Sam said.  
He walks quickly with his stress level going higher with each step. Luckily, the first person he sees is Wanda.  
Even she, hearing the news, makes a face half compassionate half-pitiful. It is no surprise she advises him to tell Steve, Bucky, and Natasha about it as soon as possible.  
  
So he sends a message to them to call for a ”quick meeting” in one of the deserted common room.  
  
Natasha is the first to come, followed by Bucky then Steve.  
  
Scott isn't sure how to phrase what he needs to say so he takes the phone in his hand and shakes it a bit.

  
”Sam called”

It’s enough to have Steve basically teleport right in front of him.

”He said not to look for him” Scott adds before he is too afraid to talk face to face.

  
  
Steve's eyes open big before almost closing menacingly. Technically, Scott knows that Steve isn't angry at him but he still wants to ask for forgiveness.

  
  
”Told Ya, he doesn't want to come back”

  
  
Steve sends his boyfriend a murderous look but quickly turns back to Scott ”Can we locate the call?”

  
  
Scott wants to answer that yes, they probably could but isn't that the whole reason Sam called in the first place?

  
  
”Maybe we should- do what he asked. Not looking for him?” he proposes weakly. His heart is beating fast under Steve’s gaze.

  
  
When a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it hand snatches the phone from his hand and Steve starts to walk out, Scott gasps.

  
  
”Steve!” Bucky calls, putting himself in the way ”stop that. He said he didn't want us on his back,”

  
  
”I agree” Natasha adds, putting herself next to Bucky.

  
  
Steve doesn't back down. If anything he seems even more determined.  
”Since both of you are a prime example of ”I do whatever the fuck I want” I hope I suddenly have hallucinations because there’s no way Miss I lied to my friends for a year and Sir I’ll go back under ice in Wakanda instead of coming back home can tell me anything”  
To prove a point he walks straight between them. Both Wanda and Scott fears that they are going to fight but actually neither Natasha nor Bucky were ready to see Steve like this.

  
  
“I think we broke him” Wanda softly says at the same time Scott moans “My phone?!”

  
  
“So what do we do now? Someone needs to calm Steve. We all want Sam back but not by force” Wanda continues.

  
  
Since Sam and Steve spent years chasing him, Bucky is fully aware how relentless Steve is going to be. Sam HAD to know he wouldn’t be satisfied by a call, not even one to Steve at that (or him, but he won’t admit that).  
How do you stop a tornado?  
  
A tornado that apparently went into one of the monitoring room, extremely politely asked someone (not even the whole room) for help with the location, went out and still managed to put everyone on code red?  
  
When Steve takes his bike to drive away, the air seems less tense but people still want to help. Who, here, didn’t like Sam?.

  
Three days after the call and they found nothing. Steve is trying to manage his anger and frustration. He really tries. Except he is doing a poor job at it and when finally he decides to sleep in their room, he knows they will have a complicated talk before he can close his eyes for a few hours.

  
  
“You can’t ditch other mission just because you are running around after someone who doesn’t want to be found” Bucky starts, clearly out for blood tonight.

  
  
Steve lets escape “Maybe you actually don’t want him here”

  
  
“Excuse me?” He says incredulous.

  
“Maybe you have a problem with him and you are just happy with him gone but If you aren’t gonna help, at least don’t be in my way”

  
  
Bucky looks at Steve as if he lost his mind and maybe this is what is going on. Maybe Steve just lost his freaking mind.

  
  
“Take that back”

  
  
“Why?”

  
  
“TAKE THAT BACK YOU STUPID FUCKER”

  
  
Bucky is radiating a dangerous type of energy, even just sitting on the bed.  
  
Steve takes a second too long to say something so Bucky gets up, starts to grabs a few things.

  
  
“Bucky-“

  
  
“No. You are going too far. You want to act like the most selfish jerk ever? Congrats”

  
  
Steve tries to excuse himself “I didn’t mean it”

  
  
“Yes you did. You think I’m standing in your way to get your precious Sam? Then I’ll go. You will have all the freedom you want to run behind his stupid selfish ass”

  
  
Steve comes closer, regret in the voice “I’m sorry. Please wait!”

  
  
“Wait what? For you to bring him back and toss me away? You think I don’t know you would have been with him if both of you idiot hadn’t die?”

  
  
It’s like a punch right in the face. This is not what would have happened. Not really. He doesn’t know.

  
  
“Stop! I’m sorry Buck’ I swear I would never leave you for him. Not for anyone. Please!”

  
  
Bucky does stops. He doesn’t want to cry but it stings. Who knew he could bottle up that much resentment.

  
  
Steve continues, tries to come closer ”I love you. You know that” he takes a deep breath, passes a hand on his teary eyes ”I love him too. I won’t pretend otherwise but it never was as simple as choosing one over the other. You are a part of me Bucky, I knew that for so long that I didn't really think I could feel what I feel for Sam”

  
  
”So what do we do Steve? Because right now, this is messed up”

  
  
Steve sits next to him, takes Bucky’s metal hand softly and brings it to his lips. They are both shaking.

  
  
”I don’t want us to break up. I’ll do whatever you want”

  
  
Bucky doesn't know what to say. Flashes of his own relationship with Sam comes in his mind. He wasn't- isn’t, in love with Sam. What they have is something, but it isn't love. Right?  
Is that why he feels so bad about the whole situation? Is there more to them that a weird friendship? _Yes, there is_ , he tells to himself. 

  
”I need to think about it”

  
  
Steve nods, not feeling better. He proposes to sleep somewhere else not to overwhelm his boyfriend. Bucky accepts, silently.  


* * *

  
  
The following days are not exactly tense between them but it’s not comfortable either. Steve does try to appease the situation with everyone, still secretly hoping that someone would get a lead.  
  
All he wants is to be sure he is okay, talk to him. Sam should know, he was with him during Bucky’s research.

  
  
He organizes a romantic dinner night, which surprise Bucky. It’s a bit uncomfortable at first but even with the fact that their conversation about Sam isn’t really resolved, they manage to save the night and try to have a good time. Steve put on his most charming self and Bucky appreciate the effort. When they are back from the restaurant, Steve is about to leave him right in front of their place. Bucky is having none of it, opening the door and grabbing Steve with him.

He kisses him, slow and deep.  
  
A kiss that became more. Soon, no clothes are left on. Steve is so relentless, Bucky has no other choice but to be pliant under his body. Every touches, every kisses are possessive. Bucky himself can’t believe how his body just accept Steve intrusion in one go. He forgets to breathe for an instant and each thrust screams “Mine”.

Steve isn’t the dominant type usually but Bucky knows very well that he is trying to tattoo in his skin that they belong together, no matter what happen with Sam. Steve knows what he is doing when he put Bucky’s legs on his shoulder in that specific angle and dig in him.

Even after they both come, Steve doesn’t pull out, distracting Bucky so much that he doesn’t realize until it’s too late and they are both hard again.

Soldier serum or not, they will both end up marked after that cession.  
As they finally lay next to each other a while later, Bucky has his eyes on the ceiling.

  
  
”When we get Sam back, what will it mean for us?”

  
  
Steve tries not to let his heart beat too loud.

  
  
”I don’t want to lose you”

  
  
”So-” Bucky says after a short time ”you are going to, what, date us at the same time?”

  
  
Steve sits on the bed, closing his eyes ”Jesus, Buck-’”

  
  
”Maybe you should” he continues in a whisper that got Steve frowns ”We have to talk about it, Steve”

  
  
So they do.  
  
They spend a good chunk of the night imagining what it would be like and one thing starts to intrigue Steve.

  
  
”But- you two, I mean- I thought that maybe-”

  
  
”What?”

  
  
”I was stupid, last time. I said that you didn't want him here but I thought about it. You share something”

  
  
”Yeah, you” Bucky scoffs, feeling a bit uneasy now.

  
  
Steve takes his hand ”No”

  
  
Bucky looks in his eyes and he doesn't know what to say to that. He thought they shared something but it was all fake. It was always a competition about Steve, nothing else. Maybe. He wasn’t sure before and he still isn’t. Maybe it’s stupid but he wants to know what Sam thought of that. Would Sam had say “yes” if he decided to ask him out? Will Sam be okay with him dating Steve?

No, first, they have to get him back and then only they will think about “what if”.

* * *

  
  
The Avengers are used to receive all kind of calls for help. Even once said demands are cleaned and verified; one could be surprised to see what still makes the cut.  
  
Sometimes, some specific requirement is mentioned. Sometimes, someone will choose themselves what mission to take. The machinery is well oiled now.  
Still, Bucky wonders how he is the one ending up on this specific mission.  
  
A very VIP club wants to lunch a monthly ”extra-human” night. According to the owner, they want to have a night dedicated to every type of being beyond ”regular” human. Which means superpowered, aliens and supernaturals, as long as they behave, could come.  
On paper, it is a nice idea. To Bucky, it is the recipe for a catastrophe. His worries are shared at least by some members of the direction because they specifically engaged powerful people to do security for this special event.  
Bucky is assigned to the owner as his bodyguard. His task is to make sure he survives the night and it’s easy to believe that he would be in danger for some reasons even if he seems like a decent guy.  
  
On Friday night the preparation is nearly done.  
  
The staff is here, checking the last details when Mister Yoon, the owner, get Bucky (Bryan) alone.

  
  
”Thank you for your help Bryan. The most important thing tonight is that there’s as little incident as we can. The second someone is acting up, he is out. They know the rules but there always some people-”

  
  
Bucky listens to him. Mister Yoon believes that he (Brian) is a war veteran with super strength recommended by a friend, which is close enough to the truth. For the occasion, Bucky as a special sleeve covering the non-human arm, colored lens and a very realistic short blond wig. Plus a fake trimmed beard, he likes it.  
  
The goal is still to put people at ease, so, while he will have to stay close to Yoon, he won’t have to follow him like his shadow. Discretion and professionalism are largely insisted on during Yoon pep talk to his team.  
He has installed a board with some expected and respected pictures of clients for them to memorize. Bucky recognize some name and or faces.  
  
All in all. Bucky still has the feeling that some things will be going sideways but he knows he is ready to handle everything quickly. He doesn't tell Yoon that he is also here to keep an eye on three criminals expected to come and, among them, the man suspected to have funded Deacon Frost.  
  
A few hours later, the first customers are here and everything is fine. People are chatting and dancing, a lot of them are here to socialize and test the water to do some business. Some are here just to have some fun.  
  
Bucky’s eyes are everywhere, regularly moving here and there and checking with the other security agents. So far, No one tried anything remotely aggressive toward Yoon.  
He spots near the DJ of his targets.  
Dan Ode is between two women. Both of them are vampires but Bucky can’t tell what Ode is. So far, the man has no criminal records and they don’t have enough proof to link him to Frost with certitude which is why he isn't in prison yet.  
  
He keeps an eye on him during the following hour, always looking for him when he has to move or is called by the boss.  
  
Once again, he is looking for Ode but finds someone else instead. At the bar, a man who has to be Sam Wilson takes one drink, which he gives to a woman with sunglasses inside.  
  
The woman laughs at something Sam says and takes a small taste of her drink before nodding appreciatively.  
Bucky is speechless. He doesn’t believe his own eyes when he sees him trying to convince the woman to come dance with him, which she does, biting her lips in shyness.  
  
Sam is alive.  
  
Bucky is furious.  
  
How dares he? They are waiting for him, fearing that something happened to him AGAIN and he is flirting with a woman at the monster club? He thinks the fuck not.  
  
He knows he can’t make a scene, too much is at stake, but he still walks through the crowd as the song finish and right when the woman takes a step back, still smiling, he positions himself in a way that makes sure Sam has no other choices than acknowledge him.  


Sam first reflex is to hit the man in front of him. His whole body ache with the need to kill him and feed on him. So much, he forgets where he is for long seconds, all he can think of is whether he would have to kill everyone else too. He can do it.

  
  
”Sam” he hears the man say.

Hearing his name makes his fangs pop up and does nothing to lessen his murderous intents.

  
  
”Don’t” he answers trying to keep himself in check.

  
  
The surrounding sounds are coming back to him. He is in a club, he was dancing, he is a vampire now and this is not hell even if it could very well be.  
  
This is not a fake James Barnes.  
  
His torment is starting to reach his power, the familiar headache awakening slowly.  
He has to leave before he starts something he won’t be able to stop.  
  
Bucky makes another move and Sam sends him a warning look before he turns to get out of here.  
  
He knows it’s a bit late because he can hear the voices in his head, wondering who the target is and if it's time to eat.

  
  
”No. Leave,” he thinks strongly, hoping that they would listen this time.

  
  
See, Sam had the surprise of his life when he started to realize that coming back and being a vampire changed his powers.  
Well, he doesn't know if they were _his_ to begin with or not but what he does know now is that like Natasha can talk and commend all kind of arachnid, he can do the same with birds. Also, he can almost fly. Almost.  
  
Except they do not always listen to him and they have a lot of attitude.

He truly doesn’t get far because an angry Bucky grabs him by the back of his neck and lead them toward a tight stairway going upward. “Move” he orders. Sam complies, because not doing so would lead to worse anyway.

The room they end up in is just large enough to fit a desk and two chairs. To be honest, it looks like an interrogation room. There’s not a single window.

“Now, you stop fucking with us and you are coming back HOME” Bucky continues and never in his life or half-life, someone asked him to come home with that level of fury.

Bucky’s anger bleeds into Sam and he tries to hide his fangs, self-conscious.

“You have to leave me alone-“

“No. It’s over. We already did and I don’t trust you like that anymore”

Well, Sam can’t argue with that but he really has to go. He is feeling too much at once.

“James, I’ll come, I swear, but now, I can’t stay here- with you, you don’t understand,” he implore, turning away from him, trying to prevent the headache become stronger.

He feel a hand on his back “We can help you”

Sam feels sorry, really. He even say so when he takes on of his special vial. He turns quickly and punches Bucky in the face, not strong enough to knock him down but enough to let him see some stars and flee the scene.

Dude is floating his way out and no one can stop him. The second he set feet outside, a congregation of birds are waiting for him under the perplexed look of a lot of people.

“Shit” he says loudly, running among them, he disappears quickly but not enough not to hear his name screamed far behind.

He does not want to go back. There’s no way he won’t get himself killed again and end up in Hela’s private army. He values his non-life and doesn’t feel sorry for that. He knows death now, and it sucks.  
  
He honestly believed he was doing better, working hard to understand his new body and overcome some weaknesses. It isn't perfect at all but it works.   
  
Of course, after months of hiding and even having asked Scott to tell everyone not to look for him, he knew it was only a question of time before he would cross path with someone he knew but in the meantime, he would focus on himself and how not to be a danger for others but mainly for himself.  
  
The whole experience changed him. More than his lack of caring for human life (he has to force himself not to see most people as food), it's how more vicious he is in general.  
  
He remembers what happened the first time he tried to have sex a few weeks ago, oh, he thought he was grown, he thought he would be in control as long as no blood was involved. He was so happy to still get attention, even in his situation, that he accepted to follow the guy to his car. They drive to some discreet place and the man couldn't even wait to stop to get his thick cock out, touching himself as if Sam was the sexiest thing he ever laid his eyes on.   
Sam tried to keep his eyes on the road but the smell alone already made his mouth water.  
  
He thought he was in control, but he wasn't.  
  
If that was the outcome with someone he didn't care about and didn't find all that attractive, he couldn't risk any of this with Steve...or Bucky. They may have not put any label on their relationship but he knows eventually, ”something” would have happened between them. He can admit that now, alone, running away from the man.  
  
He is a mess.  
  
Maybe he was wrong to run away. Maybe if he comes back-  
He thinks about it for the rest of the night. He isn’t sure how he can miss everyone so much when he could snap their neck without batting an eye in the same breath. Shit, all Bucky had to do is showing his face and Sam wants more. Maybe like all of his training, he needs to start small. Look at them from afar until he is sure he won’t do anything stupid and maybe a coffee in public or something. No, not a coffee, he can’t stomach it now.

There’s too much “maybe” and he isn’t confident at all so he lets a day pass. Finally, he decides to actually give it a try and try to think about how he can see them without them seeing him. He can’t go to the facility, he would be noticed immediately. It has to be when they are around here in New York but even then, how would he find Steve and Bucky?

* * *

He looks at the windows and the sun is rising soon. It would be the perfect hour for Steve to go running. He wonders if he could keep up with him now. It would be funny to know.

It gives him an idea.

Maybe he can use the birds to find him? He gets his phone, nothing fancy but enough to go on the internet with the hotel’s wifi. He finds what he needs quickly, take a little dose of blood and calls the birds around. Three pigeon flies to him and when he expose his needs, they ask for food. Well, he guess he can find something but he has nothing they could eat here. They refuse to help unless he has food so he has to get out but isn’t all that bothered. On his way, other birds joins but they have the common sense not to follow him too closely.

He has to wait seven o’clock to actually find something open He buy the tastiest looking baguette. The second he is alone in an alley, they all fly around, keeping the distance minimal. At least he is in control, because it could almost feel threatening.

“Food” they say.

“Yes, but only if you find him” he answers, showing Steve picture on the small screen.

Some of the birds come closer at first before flying away in a cacophony. The neighbors are not going to be happy.

He waits at the same spot and half an hour later, he gets a signal. Damn they are good. The little European starling is easy to follow and he gets excited on his way, he tries not to get his hopes too up because they could have mistaken but he can’t keep from smiling. That’s until he realizes he will have to follow on foot to somewhere he doesn’t know because all they can say is that the man is his a park but it's not like they can read to know which one.

Stellar.

He decides not to care all that much, places his hood on his head and floats as fast as he can. Maybe it’s the impatience but he swear he is basically flying at this point. Finally, he arrives at the Arboretum, a park he hasn’t been in years. From here, he continue to follow them, floating his way in the chill morning air. The birds silently guide him through the woods. He is close, so close he thinks he hear something. Someone is laughing, no giggling. He is careful in his approach and finally spot him, no, them.

Steve is against a tree and Bucky is walking to him before he put a hand next to Steve head. Sam is lost in his feeling and forgets to say anything, letting the scene in front of him unfold.

Steve grabs Bucky’s shirt and kisses him.

In the five seconds, it takes Sam to understand what is happening, Steve’s hand has cupped Bucky’s ass in his hands, making the man make a sound Sam never heard coming from him before.

“What is this?” he wonders, shocked.

They are making out right in front of his eyes, granted, they don’t know it, but still. He cannot believe it, and god knows he has a powerful vision.

So that’s how it is? They are together now?

Maybe this is why they actually agreed to leave him alone. Not even Natasha popped up so he was kind of surprised but now, it all makes sense. Bucky acted as if he wanted him back with them but it was a lie.

“Fuck them both” he shouts in his head.

A strength beyond anger takes upon him. His feelings are reaching his powers instantly and there is nothing he can do to prevent it.

He leaves, their sounds of pleasures echoing in his head. He hates it. He should be the one making out against a tree. He should be the one making out with- with who? Steve? Bucky?

It doesn’t matter. It should be him, not them! All of this because he died. Because Steve died.

All of this because of Deacon Frost and the man asking and paying for all this mess.

He got robbed and now he is alone, struggling not to kill people while the both of them are happy and in love?

No ma’am, it ain’t fair.

He spend his day thinking about Steve and Bucky, replaying the image of them kissing and touching and he has to stay still because otherwise, he would just trash his hotel room. He was a jealous person before but he always managed to keep it to himself and not do something too stupid. At least, he learnt it when he started dating Misty, one of the most popular girl in the neighborhood.

It's different here. He is fairly certain that, hadn’t he die, he would have been here. He would have fight not to be the one left out. Ok, he doesn’t know for sure who he would have fight for but he would have!

“Maybe if you hadn’t left them for more than a year and a half you wouldn’t be in that situation, jackass,” he thinks to himself bitterly.

What the fuck did he do?

No, it wasn’t his fault. If he hadn’t be killed (and changed), it wouldn’t have happened. All of this is because of Frost and it is time he pays.

* * *

Finding the object of his vengeance is easy. Like Steve, all he has to do is show his face to the birds and they do all the work, it just takes longer.

Well, the man is in a maximum-security prison. Luckily, it is not in the middle of the freaking ocean, Sam had enough of these already. It’s well hidden between the Chattahoochee forest and Dawsonville, with no trace of it on any map. He doesn't mind the trip but it will left him short of money and he needs a little preparation, besides, he feels a bit drained recently.

He doesn’t know the name of the place but all he has to do is follow the birds with his stolen car and give them food every once in a while. After hours and hours, he is finally close enough to need to hide the car before finishing on foot. Even before seeing the complex itself, he spots some movement in and out on a downside road.  
  
The prison looks like a giant cube but because of the dense pack of trees all around, it’s very well hidden.

Half of the rooftop is open but surrounded by an electric net (the birds do not approach it) while the other half is hiding the heliport and a control center. A barbed wall separates the two with automatic weapons built in; making sure no one could come in or out.

  
He gave then some advance on salary to make sure they would do good but even then, he knows he can- persuade them- if needed. He would rather not though.

Having a large movement of birds would be suspicious so he waits for the night to come and send them all inside to different spots and at different moment.  
Once the squad is inside, all he has to do is wait for Frost to get outside. Turns out, they made him go out at night so whatever he could use to go in the sun isn't on him anymore. It really wouldn’t have mattered.  
Commanding that many birds at once makes him consume blood more often that he is used to and he hopes it doesn't take too long otherwise he will have to go back to the city to feed and start again the whole thing.  
  
Finally, one of the birds informs him that the target is accessible.  
  
Sam, with glee, orders them to move, discreetly, to the court.  
He has no way of looking at Frost's face when he will die and is a bit disappointed by it but it's okay. He will not get side-lined, so close to his goal, for petty reasons.

  
  
”Kill him and him only” he sends and three seconds after, an alarm resonates through the whole complex. After two minutes, they start to fly away eventually, he notices the red of their beak and a lot of them drops various things on the way out like an eyes, pieces of the hair and scalp, appendices, and things that definitely were inside originally.  
It’s gross but he is happy like he rarely been happy.  
  
Frost is finally dead and half of his burden had been lifted.

  
  
”Hela would be proud” he sighs.


	13. Back to us

Bucky is coming out of the shower. Another day, another much needed cleaning. Despite quickly taking the habit to leave covered from head to toe they always seems to find a way to hit him anyway.  
He still feels gross somehow but at least he isn't Steve who got one practically in his mouth when they finished their run yesterday morning. He has to admit it isn't the sexiest he saw his boyfriend, and he saw him through sickness plenty of time already.  
Said boyfriend his entering their place, a somber look on his face.

  
  
”What’s going on?” Bucky asks, already thinking about what clean gear he still can afford to wear at that point. If they have to go back in mission so soon, he refuses to wear the disgusting ones.

  
Steve thinks about it, his eyes far away for a second.

  
  
”Deacon Frost is dead,” he reveals.

  
  
Bucky joins him in the silence too for a while before he asks how. He is far from being sad but he hoped he would never hear about him again. Guess his wish is granted in a surprising but not unwelcome way.

  
”Well. It’s better if you see for yourself,” Steve sights, getting to his tablet with clear disbelief in his voice.

  
  
He access a file deep in a labyrinth of data and plays a video.  
  
On it, they show the part of the prison rooftop they use as a yard. Some prisoners are outside without too much care in the world. There is a zoom on the right side on the screen and Deacon Frost appears.  
  
At least five guards have been visible since the start of the video. None of them is close enough to prevent the flock of something suddenly encapsulating Frost. The vision switches and Bucky can see birds. Lot of them, surrounding a screaming and rolling vampire.  
The seconds the other prisoners and guards moves, not even to come to his rescue, they are attacked too. Enough to hurt but not with the same magnitude as the other man.  
Then, the screams stops. The body still moves weakly before completely stopping.   
  
Next thing they see is the birds leaving and the ravaged rest of his body.

  
  
”What the hell?! Are we sure he is- dead?”

  
  
”You really can’t be more dead than that. The birds scattered pieces of him all around. Even a vampire like him can’t regenerate without his heart and brain” Steve comments, closing the video and putting the tablet far from him on a chair.

  
  
Bucky blinks, unsure.

  
  
”Someone else died?”

  
  
”No. It wasn't random Buck’, someone or something targeted him” he adds with assurance. ”It made me think about what happened to us lately, even if its kind of stopping-”

  
  
”You think someone can throw curses using the birds? I mean- it’s kind of crazy but at the same time-” Bucky wonders. He doesn’t recall reading anything like this recently. A new enemy?

  
  
Steve goes to sit on the couch, soon joined by his partner.

  
  
”Maybe. I don’t know. Birds are almost everywhere. If someone could have access to them-”

  
  
”The way Natasha has access to spiders-” Bucky finishes and they look at each other, heart beating fast.

  
  
”-Someone with a reason to want to kill Frost, who knows us-” Steve pushes.

  
  
”Okay, hold up, why would Sam send birds to shit on us? Besides, he doesn't have this kind of power, we know it’s death related”

  
  
Steve cocks an eyebrow ”Do we? It's a long shot but, it's plausible”

  
  
Bucky taps his fingers against his thigh. The other hand stroking his beard. It’s ridiculous. At least, it should be.

  
  
”I mean, he would have his reasons with Frost but remember that he didn't attack him when he escaped. Plus, sending them after us, even if it’s not to try to kill us is stupid and Sam is a lot of things but not sloppy. Frost messed up a long list of people from what we saw and we are barely able to locate them, it could be one of them. And why now? Sam has been gone for months, why attack now in a secured prison instead of during the trial?” Bucky argues, thinking about it at the same time.  
They do not know if what happened to Natasha could also happen to Sam but he continues to think that, if somehow, he got extra powers, it wouldn't be something like that.

  
”So let’s find and interrogate him,” Steve proposes and Bucky stops moving immediately at the thought of it.

  
  
”You sure you want to play like that Steve? Treat him like a criminal?”

  
  
”Not a criminal” he corrects ”A suspect. Yes it could be someone else, hell it could be one of Ode’s men, maybe, he got the resources after all but-"

  
  
Bucky knows it’s going to be messy.  
  
”Ok. Time to bring back our blood-sucking Falcon then”

* * *

  
  
  
Sam feels lighter than he has ever been since the fake doctor came into their life.  
  
Frost is dead and even if it doesn't hit the news, he has information through the birds that this death is permanent. His task is not totally done thought.  
Frost was working for someone. He needs to know whom and make him pay too. Only then he will be able to put everything behind him.  
  
His problem is that he has no way of finding anything about it without accessing Frost’s file. The more logical way is to go back to the facility. He will have to play tight if he wants to not only find who Frost was working for but also get to this person before the others figure out why he is here in the first place.  
Even if it takes him months, he will get what he wants. He will get revenge for himself, for Bucky and for Steve.

  
It may have been part of his plan to go back to the Avengers in the near future but he hadn't really foreseen how it would happen without raising suspicions. He decides to let himself a period of reflection to be sure about it.  
In the meantime, he needs money so he gets a job thanks to a guy he met on another mission. It’s easy, he is tasked to keep an eye on a container in a giant warehouse by night.  
  
The first night is uneventful and it’s some easy cash he doesn't complain about. The second night however, he hears some noises he can’t quite locate the source of because of the echo.  
He doesn't move from his spot on top of the container, curious to see who would try to steal it. He has no idea what is inside and doesn't care that much either, he is paid to keep an eye on it, not to ask questions.

  
  
”On your left,” a voice says, coming out of the shadows. There’s a softness inside that makes Sam mouth gape and eyes going round in a second.  
His body is already jumping from the container to the floor way too graciously to be purely human. He does stay in front of it, surprised and unsure, so focused on Steve he doesn't notice the other figure closing on him.

  
  
”On your right, fucker” Bucky announces his fist connecting with Sam’s face.  


* * *

  
  
  
When his eyes open again, there’s too much light. Steve, Bucky, and Natasha are here facing him. He doesn’t feel weak or anything but there is no way he has been moved from where they were without him not being drugged.  
  
He looks at the three of them without any discernible expression on his face. Then he notices that he is cuffed and can’t move from the chair he has been sat in.  
  
He needs to breath deeply to stay relaxed and not getting too nervous. At least he doesn't feel like killing them and his teeth are still perfectly human.

  
  
”We missed you, Sam,” Steve says softly “I am sorry for all of this. We weren't sure you would have come willingly”

  
  
Sam may have seen him in the park but being here, close to him seems unreal. He feels conflicted about the situation.

  
  
”I am glad you’re alive,” he answers truthfully. ”If you had ask nicely, I would have come” he adds half nervous, half flirting “I don’t understand what is happening here”

  
  
”Well, you ran away last time we saw each other” Bucky bites bitterly.

  
  
Sam doesn't answer immediately. He finally asks after a pause ”Is this really necessary?”

  
Natasha answers playfully ”Are you going to behave?”

  
  
He nods and she lets him out. He gets up, ready to indulge in the urge to have Steve against him in a tight embrace.  
Nobody can stop him from moving his hand to his cheek. Last time he did, they had no colour anymore in them. Steve closes his eyes at the touch.  
  
He forgets everything for a moment. Steve is clinging to him back and it’s almost like before.  
Almost.  
  
He let go. Eyes catching Bucky’s for a second and an expression he can't identify.  
They are together he remembers. Right.  
  
He takes a step back, embarrassed.

  
  
Steve turns to Bucky, they have a silent conversation and finally, Steve says ”I know you weren't planning to come back but could you stay? Just a few days? Please” 

  
  
”I-” Sam stops, his determination not as strong as he thought it should be. Now, facing them, he feels stupid and powerless.

  
  
”Steve, this isn't what we talked about” Bucky mention, breaking the moment.

  
  
It gets Sam on the defensive. Of course, he would not want him here. He has no idea what they did talk about but his tone his very pointed.

  
  
”I agree with Steve. We should reconnect. We hadn't been together for a long time and everyone would like to see you. People care about you” Natasha pushes and Sam feels embarrassed.

  
  
”I can do that”

  
  
Natasha kisses his cheek and Steve is beaming. Bucky’s face is closed and it hurts. He knows he won't escape a painful conversation with him. Well, with the other two as well because this whole situation is a mess for everyone involved he supposes.  
  
  
He thought he would have to be careful not to get anyone’s hopes up about him being back but it becomes somewhat apparent that everyone was asked not to say anything too aggressive. They all seem happy to see him here and he can believe it, mostly.  
Neither Clint nor Rhodey says anything about Frost or the fact that he died and he can almost feel Steve’s aura acting like a warning to everyone.

  
It’s late enough for them to need some rest once the comeback tour is done with.

  
  
Natasha gives him a small black bag with blood in it. ”You’ll need that” she says before leaving him with only Bucky and Steve.

  
  
The thing is, Sam’s old place is directly between Steve’s and Bucky’s which means that Steve is the first one to go.  
He shuffles awkwardly, waving goodbye to both of them before rushing inside. It's not hard, by both of their attitude, to understand that this isn't their current and usual sleeping arrangement.  
  
Sam even has the audacity to ask if everything's all right between them, earning him a glare from Bucky.

  
”Guess it’s back to square one” he mutters to himself as they start to walk to his own place.

  
”What did you say?”

  
  
”Nothing”

  
  
”Fuck you Wilson” Bucky spits before walking faster to leave him.

  
  
Sam forgets to play nice for a second, showing what’s under the mask. ”Fuck you too, you ungrateful brat”

  
  
Bucky stops, turning slowly toward Sam, his anger almost palpable ”Don’t think for one second that your little number worked on us, Sam. Don’t even think about walking away this time. Consider yourself warned”

  
  
”You know I won’t stay here right? I can’t”

  
  
”Why? Give me one good reason, can you?” Bucky challenges.

  
  
Sam doesn't understand why Bucky talks like he should be here when his attitude says the contrary.

  
  
”I am not always in control,”

  
  
”Natasha will teach you” he answers easily.

  
  
”I don’t plan on being an Avenger again”

  
  
”Nobody told you to be one”

  
  
Sam is annoyed ”You don’t want me here! The only reason you tolerate me is because of Steve, admit it”. He stops in front of is door, getting inside quickly without waiting for a reply.

  
  
How can Bucky get under his skin like that? He shouldn't get emotionally involved anyway. He needs to remind himself that not only he is here to find information but Steve and Bucky are a couple now. None of them mentioned it by the way but it could simply be that the moment wasn’t right. He wonders how long it would take one of them to say something.

  
  
His old place hasn't changed much. Someone kept it clean and tidy but that’s about it.  
He goes to the shower before laying on the large bed. Sleep doesn't come easily and he often turns, fighting to find a good position that would allowed his body to rest.  
He spent so many nights here and yet it feels very different from before. It doesn't feel right. He sits, pondering his options and gets up, going to the living room then the door. He opens it absentmindedly only to walk right in someone’s body.

  
  
”I told ya Stevie”

  
  
Sam blinks at the two men. Steve definitely looks disappointed and Bucky judgmental as fuck.

  
  
”Sam?”

  
  
”I can’t sleep, that’s all”

  
  
”You don’t look well. Did you-I mean, the blood-” he asks a bit redder on the cheeks.

  
  
Sam doesn't say that with all that he is feeling, drinking blood and risking his powers to act up isn’t the greatest idea tonight. Instead, he simply answers ”I’m okay, just uncomfortable I guess”

  
  
Steve turns to Bucky and they have another one of their silent conversations. All he got from it is Bucky rolling his eyes.

  
  
”Come then,” Steve says before starting to walk toward his own place.  
The other two are following in silence until Sam is in the bedroom and Steve takes off his sweat to put a tank top.

  
  
”I don’t understand” Sam admits dumbly, turning right away when Steve starts to unbutton his pants.

  
  
”We are sleeping here tonight. The bed is big enough”

  
  
Sam wants to scream that he does NOT want to sleep in THEIR bed. And he knows they did something here. At first, he hopes that Bucky thinks the same. Surely he would fight Steve on this but guess who is already throwing his jeans away?  
  
The half-vampire is paralyzed, locking his eyes to the, now, closed door.

  
  
”You can’t be serious”

  
  
”Why?” Steve says behind him, the sounds of manipulated clothes. Filling the room ”We did it with Natasha, you always slept better with someone with you”

  
  
He tries to argue, he swears, but instead, he just stays here, eyes wide and mouth open enough to let a confused sound coming out.  
He finally turns toward the bed to assess the situation.  
Steve is already lying and sends him a look meaning ”What are you waiting for?”  
  
Bucky joins his boyfriend and it makes Sam feeling hot and bothered to look at them. His fangs pop suddenly and he shamefully tries to hide them behind his hand.

  
  
”Shit, shiiiiiit” he hisses, he turns once again to the door.

  
  
”What’s wrong?” Steve asks, already ready to jump.

  
  
Sam hold his hand to prevent them to come closer. ” _Breathe. Calm yourself. You got this_ ” he tells himself, at first in his head but finally whispering the words.  
Eventually, his fangs go back to normal and he feels humiliated. Arms against his body, hands into fists.

  
  
Someone does come closer and he is shocked to hear Bucky ”It’s okay. You are a young vampire with two beautiful men, it’s natural to have a mouth erection”

  
  
Sam turns to him, incredulous ”I swear Barnes, you better shut the fuck up”

  
  
He smiles ”Now this is more like yourself”

  
  
Sam face changes into a pout. He doesn't resist when Bucky grabs his arm to bring him to the bed.  
He ends up between the two super soldiers, facing Steve and Bucky behind his back.  
He does try to look at anything else but Steve’s eyes, full of life and curiosity, the way they should be. Not glassy and dead. However, he does feel grateful when they finally turn off the light, despite being able to still see.  
  
Sleep still doesn't come easily but for entirely different reasons.

  
  
”I can feel your stress from here” Bucky finally mumbles.

  
  
”I’m trying”

  
  
Steve decides to get closer, bring Sam’s head to his chest and bring Bucky so close that Sam feels his breath against him.  
He is in a sandwich and no one else seems to see the problem in that.  
At least, he guesses that this should be a problem because he never imagined this kind of situation. One of Bucky’s hand starts to stroke his back for a bit before setting across him entirely to grab Steve’s tank top.  
  
Right.  
  
How did he manage to get himself in this situation?  
Their smell is helping him relax somehow and, to his own surprise, he falls asleep.

  
  
Most of Sam’s sleep has been nothing but void. He hardly dreams anymore and tonight, he would have preferred not to dream as usual.  
His nightmare, because that’s what it is, makes him chase each one of his friends with strategies he had plenty of time perfecting in hell.  
  
He is woken up and, because the first thing he sees is the same faces he was fighting a second before, he punches Steve in the face, throws a pillow at Bucky who was standing next to his boyfriend before jumping to his middle and making them both fall.  
One hand on his throat, the second caught up by Bucky, he doesn't understand what is different now.

  
  
”Sam! SAM” Steve shouts, grabbing him by the shoulders to remove him.

  
  
”Snap out of it, asshole,” Bucky says, punching the air out of him with a metal punch perfectly aimed.

  
  
Sam lets himself be removed, kept at bay by Steve with one arm while the blond checks Bucky.

  
  
”What was that?” Bucky asks angrily.

  
  
Sam looks at the room, blinks.

  
  
”Sorry” he manages to say. His hands are shaking.  
It looks like a direct message from Hela. As if she wanted to say ” _I see you, we’re not done yet_ ”  
He hopes this is an isolated act.

  
  
”This isn't an explanation” Bucky continues.  
Guess the truce is over.

  
  
”No, it isn't”  
The other men are clearly waiting for him to elaborate on that. ”The short answer is that I had a very realistic nightmare”

  
  
”Is there supposed to be a longer version of this?” Steve asks, massaging his cheek.

  
  
”I should go,” Sam says, already turning to leave the room.

  
  
Bucky doesn't agree ”You agreed to stay here a few days Sam or was this a lie again?”  
  
Sam doesn't even stop.  
  
He is just frustrated, no one really got hurt but it's still uncomfortable to fear that you have it in you to kill your friends. At least, he guesses he could. It was easier in hell when he could just suck their soul, yet, Hela made sure he had more than one way to end the fight in his favor.  
  
When he was still human, people who could snap his neck without breaking a sweat surrounded him and it never bothered him. Now that the playing field had been leveled up a bit somehow, he would feel better if he could be sure that he would always be in control and not a victim of his own body. He guesses it’s like that for the others too after all, especially Bucky.

  
  
He goes by his place, takes a shower, changes his clothes and drink one of the small blood bottles before walking himself to one of the training room

  
  
He starts slow; the first combat simulation is easy and reassuring.  
  
When Natasha enters the room, he has found a good balance between having some challenge but not having to rely on any ”trick” to help him.  
She just sits in a corner while he tries to improve his levitating powers by jumping higher and higher against a wall.

  
  
”You can fly?”

  
  
”I don’t think so” he answers with a shy smile ”I can enhance my movement and float but not really go really high or things like that”

  
  
”That’s still nice. Your powers may be developing”

  
  
Well, it is nice, he thinks. Even if it’s something he didn't ask for.

  
  
”I shouldn't have asked you to lie and hide the truth,” he says unexpectedly.

He turns to her, she seems a bit surprised but doesn't say anything so he continues ”I would have gone ballistic if someone close to me had hidden something like this from me”

  
  
”Then why do it this way?”

  
  
”I fucked up Nat. I couldn't have handled all of this more poorly if I tried. And I dragged you and Helen and Scott in this mess. Now, believe it or not, but it’s even harder to admit this because sometimes, I don’t feel a lot of empathy. I don’t know how to explain”

  
  
She invites him to sit next to her, so he does, drinking a small bottle of water.

  
  
”Losing a bit of your soul does that actually. Feeling less connected to the others, less human. It’s how a vampire can feed so much, they see humans as food, not people”

  
  
He nods, definitely feeling that.

  
  
”But- it’s not the only reason”

  
  
He stays silent as she waits for him to continue. Maybe he should just tell the truth for once. He remembers when he valued the truth dearly, but it was before he knew he was dying.

  
  
“I’m not going to lie Wilson, everyone is waiting for you to talk and Steve and Bucky- It was tough without you. You have to know that. For all of us and especially with what you did and how you did it”

  
  
She tries to keep any accusation out of her voice but she doesn't succeed.

Sam gets up, eyes to nowhere for a second then says ”let’s go, then” and walk out of the training room with Natasha.

It is time indeed.


	14. Open heart

Sam invites Bucky and Steve to come at his place, he just has time for a shower before they are supposed to meet. It’s not even eleven and he thinks that if he could still process alcohol, he would have taken a glass of something to help him go through this. He will have to talk to the others as well but since the four of them were most directly involved in this mess, he thinks it's better to have that conversation between them first.  
  
The two men arrive together, joining Sam and Natasha around the table without a word. Sam is stirring a coffee he can’t even drink. He can't even pretend its a comforting gesture at this point.  
He doesn't seem ready to start the conversation so Bucky takes matter in his own hands and throws an impatient “So?”

  
”So, what do you want to know?”

  
  
He has a mean laugh ”That easy uh? We just have to ask and we shall be answered? With the truth this time?”

  
  
A doubt shared by the other two.

  
  
”I’ll give you my answers and you can do whatever you want with them,” Sam easily says, already forgetting to keep his attitude at bay.

  
  
”Maybe we can start by the beginning and why you didn't come to us when you got bitten” Steve proposes, instantly earning the silence in Sam’s living room.

  
  
Sam doesn’t have to think long about that one ”Because I was scared at first. Then I tried to tell you”  
Steve and Bucky both shares a look while Natasha turns her head away because she knows.  
”Remember that night I told you both to come to my place and Bucky couldn't be here because of his mission? The night I was all fancy and stuff?”  
  
Steve's face falls. He remembers. Perfectly.

  
  
”You kissed me because you were dying?” he asks indignantly.

Sam wants to laugh about the fact that Steve's mind immediately goes there but it wouldn't be a great idea.

  
  
”Well, it was now or never I guessed” Sam tries to joke instead. A joke badly received by everyone so he stops smiling.  
”And then you died and it stopped to matter”

  
  
If his joke didn't make them laugh, this sentence definitely makes them angry.

  
  
”So you decided to bring back Steve. How?”

  
  
Sam looks at Natasha ”I went to the witch. I was absorbing the necromancer's powers, which is why I didn't die because of the bite I suppose. She told me I had a way of bringing him back by going to hell and negotiating his soul with the entity holding it”

  
  
”And by negotiating you mean trading. Sam, how could you do that?” Steve is trying hard not to raise his voice. He is pissed, even if he already knew Sam was the reason he was alive again.

  
  
”So the necklace-”

  
  
He nods at Natasha and notices Bucky’s silence but something tells him that this is a beast he should leave alone for as long as he can.

  
  
”So, you get a magical artifact, die in battle and what?”

  
  
”Then I end up in hell and I send Steve’s soul back among the living. Mission accomplished,” He admits a bit too proud of himself not to sound off.

  
  
Steve squint at him clearly waiting for Sam to elaborate on that. The intensity of his gaze quickly start to burn him and he visibly swallows which prompts Steve to ask another question ”Who had my soul? Was it a demon or-”

  
  
”It doesn't matter”

  
  
”What you think matter or not is irrelevant Sam. Can you answer, please?”  
Well, here it is, Steve is pissed.

  
  
”It was Hela”

  
  
There is an uncomfortable silence and Sam confirms that yeah, it was the one and only.  
When Natasha wants to know what happened to him between the moment he was able to send Steve back and when he was brought back himself, Sam really considers to just lie. He does not want their pity, it’s already done anyway.  
  
”The usual, training, fighting fake image of your friends, shattering some souls- ah, yeah, did you know you can be extra dead if your soul is destroyed? It really was a learning experience,” he explains with the same tone he would use during a job interview.

  
  
”So when you attacked us this morning-”

  
  
Sam plays it as if it was nothing with a simple ”You know, hard habits and stuff. I mean when you killed hundreds of times people or things with your friends or family face, it starts to become a reflex”

  
  
Everyone here was used to traumatic experiences and being taught skills the hard way, whether they wanted it or not so they understood the general feeling.

  
  
”Well, now that you know everything, am I supposed to stay or leave or what? I mean, this is why you knocked me down right?” he smiles.

  
  
Unfortunately, it makes Steve’s worried face disappear to be replaced with a tense one and Bucky, who said nothing up until this point start to speak.

  
  
“No, actually we got you because Frost is dead. Are you responsible for this?”

  
  
Sam blinks at the bluntness. He put his hand on his chest because of the surprise “Oh-“  
He looks at his hands, hides his face with it.

  
  
“Sorry we suspected you-” Steve start way too fast because he has to stop at the sound coming from Sam.

The semi vampire, full on laughing now “Nah, it’s fine, you are right. I did it”

  
  
“What?”

  
  
“Yeah, imagine my surprise when I saw that he was alive and well. Like, wow. That’s some great Avenging guys”

  
  
“We brought him to justice,” Steve says with a finality in his words Sam is miles away to feel.

  
  
“So? Deacon Frost was a lot of thing but deserving to breathe he was not. He should have been dead long ago, if not for what he did to you or every one of his victims, for what he did to me”

  
  
“You can’t decide that Sam” Natasha tries already knowing she won’t convince him (and not believing it either by the way).

  
  
“Guess what Nat, I did. The world is a better place for it and I couldn’t even stay dead without him bringing me back. How long before someone came to collect me? The words you are looking for is “You’re welcome Sam” I believe” he rants, not amused to be lectured as if he hadn’t been dead and earned his revenge.

  
“You had him being eaten alive! By birds!”

The conversation changed so quickly, Steve is losing is cool.

  
  
“And what about it?”

  
  
“So you were the one who cursed us” Bucky intervenes without raising his voice.

Sam tells him that he has no idea what he is talking about.

“A few days before Frost, birds started to follow Steve and me and shit on us whenever we were outside. It was you. You cursed us”

  
  
The more he talks, the more accusatory he gets.

  
  
Sam gives him the “You are an idiot” look and tries to change the topic “Anyway-“

  
  
“Answer me!”

  
  
“I did not asked the birds to sh- uh” Sam realizes in a flash. A few days before he attacked Frost, he did see them. He felt drained, he remembers.

  
  
Unfortunately, he forgets that he is facing the others while on a face journey and Steve make an indignant noise while Bucky seems to fight with himself not to slap Sam.

  
  
“Why did you do that?” Natasha asks and oops, there it is, he would like a joker.

  
  
He opens his mouth, closes it, and looks at his tights.

  
  
”I truly don't think I did it. Now, why would I be pissed at the two of you? I mean, besides not having taken care of Frost when you had the occasion?”  
It's a good enough deflection. They share a look and for one second, Steve has his eyes on the floor. He can see the guilt right there.  
”Do you have something to tell me?” Sam asks innocently, turning the conversation around. It’s transparent but it works.

  
  
Bucky answers a short ”No” before adding ”I’m done” and leaving.

  
One down, two to go.

  
  
”You got everything you wanted right? What am I supposed to do now?”

  
  
Steve practically drills a hole in his head with how hard he looks at him.

  
  
”You want to leave? Then go, Sam” Steve says defeated ”I won’t force you to be around. But if you chose to stay, you have to know this conversation isn't done yet”

  
  
Sam lets him follow his boyfriend and directly asks Natasha if he is a prisoner or not and if they are going to arrest him for what he did to Frost.

  
  
”To be honest, I am more than fine with him being dead. It would bring more complication than resolutions if we made this public” she seems thoughtful for a moment but whatever she was thinking, she changes her mind, finally asking ”The real question is what are you going to do about them?”

  
  
Sam instinctively look toward the door ”Dunno. They can stay mad”. Then, with another smile ”In the meantime, what about training with me? I still have a long way to go before being a functional semi vampire”  
  
Natasha blinks slowly then mimic the same face he has ”I like this idea”.

  
  
So Sam is ”officially” back at the Facility but not as an official member of the team.  
He focus on his training with Natasha which makes him not think too much about Steve or Bucky. He doesn't avoid them and they don't avoid him but its surprising how little you can see someone in the facility when you busy yourself.  
  
The air between Natasha and him is cleared early. Probably because even if she doesn't agree on the methodology, she understands where he was coming from.  
Besides, being with her makes him actually starts to like himself. Sharing their experiences and having a new understanding of her story is eye-opening.  
Since he came back, he didn't want to die because of Hela, and because being dead sucks but now, he starts to actually enjoy being alive again. This is something he never really had to think about like that before.

  
One of the ways he has to reconnect with his humanity goes through being able to ingest (and keep inside) food.  
Simply being able to drink a small coffee feels like a luxury. He has to train his body with extra smalls portions which make him feel more ”heavy” than ”full”.  
  
This particular morning, he is in one of the common kitchens, looking at that strawberry as he would look at a dead cockroach.  
He was indifferent at best toward strawberries when he was fully alive and now, it had nothing tempting. When he looked at it too much, his vision would provide him too many unappetizing details he would have never noticed otherwise.  
  
The offender is in front of him on the small table and his hands are in his lap, trying to get the courage to put it in his mouth.  
  
Someone enters the kitchen but he doesn't immediately turns to look who this is. After some time, the person arrive on the other side of the table and Sam breaks contact with the fruit to look at them.  
Bucky is looking at him back, then at the strawberry.  
Sam has no idea what to say and why the man is here but while he asks himself that question, Bucky grabs the red fruit between his fingers, makes it turn to look at every angle then pop it in his mouth.

  
  
”I was gonna eat that”

  
  
”Were you?”

  
  
Sam can’t believe this is their first interaction since their fight (if he can call it like that). Well, he can kind of believe it because Bucky is the kind of guy to tell you he doesn't want to eat but will steal your fries five minutes later.

  
  
”Asshole”

  
  
Bucky shrugs, even licking quickly his fingers before he turns to leave.  
  
Next time, he will eat at his own place Sam decides.

* * *

  
  
When Natasha gives Sam the address of a bar serving blood as well as regular cocktails, he is excited. He feels like he is about to go somewhere forbidden but doesn't want to go alone. Natasha politely declines, she is a busy lady tonight, so Sam thinks about who to invite. Bucky and Steve are a big no so he immediately thinks of Scott.  
  
He calls the man and settles the rendezvous easily, Scott doesn’t even ask what place they are going to, only if it’s the fancy kind.  
Which it is not.  
  
It’s the kind of place you expect to be robbed at some point or having a fist fight because someone think you are looking too much at their partners.  
  
Scott loves it.  
  
He is in his element and gets a beer for himself and spiced Russian blood for Sam.

  
  
”I think I actually didn't apologize for calling you, that time. I don't know why I thought you were my best option”

  
  
”It was kind of flattering but also please don’t do that again because I thought Steve was going to snatch my hands as well when he took my phone,” Scott says, shivering at the memory ”But it’s okay Sam. You have the right to ask for help sometimes, you know?”

  
  
Sam nurses his drink between his hands ”Yeah, but I know I put you in a tough spot. I understand if you’re mad at me”

  
  
Scott shakes his head ”I think others are doing angry enough for five or six people already. Just- try not to die again okay? And I know it’s stupid with what we do but I think- you’re my bro, Sam. I couldn't admit that you were gone to Cassie and I always invented some excuses for your absence but, you know- kids”  
  
Sam does feel guilty. It hurts even more because he feels like he neglected their friendship. He blocks what it means for his own family. Where he has been buried is proof enough that they know he was dead and for now, he is going to leave it at that.  
  
Scott, the awesome man that he is, propose to get the next round on him and after they close the topic, both of them know that they are closer now that they ever were before.  
  
Which is why they both arrive at three in the morning at the facility, giggling like two kids.  
They try to be discreet and it works because Scott is piggybacking Sam who floats both of them in a really not straight line.

  
  
”Ninja!” Sam whispers as they float out of the elevator to one of the common room.

  
  
”Your so good at this, lets try to touch the ceiling! No, the sky!”

  
  
Sam laughs and tries to shush him at the same time. They enter the room and continues their nonsense unaware of the presence looking at them from the couch until he gets up.

  
”HA!”

  
  
Scott jumps at the vision of Steve and tries to appear soberer. Getting his clothes more presentable and giving Sam a nudge for him to stop acting like a drunken fool.

  
  
”What? Oh. Steve. You are here. Awake” Sam observes.

  
  
Steve’s eye goes from Scott, who excuses himself, wishes goodnight and run out of here quickly, to Sam.

  
  
”Are you drunk? How can you be drunk?”

  
  
”You’re not my daddy!” Then, like Scott seconds before, he runs toward the elevators, his laugh echoing in the hall.

* * *

  
The next morning, Natasha brings him with her on a quick mission. He refuses to put his old suit.

  
  
”I see what you are doing here. It won't work. I am done being an Avenger”

  
  
”Well, it was worth a shot” she shrugs without one once of remorse whatsoever.

  
  
He ends up with the standard agent’s one and follow her in the jet.  
Vision and Wanda need help, according to the latest report; they accidentally uncovered a satanic cult operating in a small southern town. Of course, a demon was involved too and it turned into a giant mess twenty minutes in.  
It was like before and it ended up like before, with explosions, threats and people arrested.  
  
It's familiar and it is good to fight with his teammates, he has to give them that.  
  
Oh, it’s comfortable, a bit different than when he was alive but nice. He doesn't think much of it, he is just himself, so when they come back to the base and Steve happens to be here (again) and tell them not to forget to make their report, Sam doesn't think it actually applies to him too.  
  
Steve makes a throaty noise to have his attention.

  
  
”Yes?”

  
  
”The report, tomorrow will be good?”

  
  
Sam wants to laugh at first but since it doesn't seem like a joke. He genuinely feels confused.

  
”I- I wasn't on a mission, I just went with Natasha”

  
  
At least, it makes Steve’s smile as he claps Sam’s shoulder.

  
  
”Tomorrow”

  
  
Sam looks at him go before Wanda and Vision wishes him ”Welcome back Falcon”.  
They are long gone when Sam stops arguing that he is not back as an Avenger.

  
  
He calls Scott mid-report to complain but far from having someone who agrees with him, he gets ”I mean, this is your home” and ”It was nice, you said it yourself” so Sam terminates the conversation and pouts alone in his apartment. Apartment he has because he was, (is), an Avenger.

  
The same way he doesn't want to think about his family, he tries not to think about his future. Right now, he has a place, is paid and learns about himself. It isn't such a bad situation if he is objective about it.

* * *

  
  
On a rare instance, he finds himself floating silently in the common room of their floor one morning.  
  
He can ear Wanda, Clint, and Scott so he doesn't think much of it and joins the conversation, going to lie on the couch next to them. Soon after, the door opens on Steve laughing, Bucky’s hand under his shirt..  
  
He is almost sure they hadn't noticed him from where he is laying because of Clint.

  
  
”You two are disgusting, I love it” the archer comments.

  
  
”You could have some kisses too if you came back to see your family” Steve answers him, giving Bucky a peck.

It’s the first time Sam sees the two of them being truly affectionate like a couple. The fact that they do it in front of everyone and nobody seem surprised is telling.

  
  
”Oh, I’m planning on it. But since Wanda is here I wanted to spend some time with her”

  
  
She makes a touched noise, putting her hand on his arm.

  
  
”You seem in a good mood this morning guys” Scott notices, arms crossed and lopsided smile on his face.

  
  
Steve and Bucky look at each other, both blushing.

  
  
”I need some coffee, I bring you one too sweetheart?”

  
  
”Yeah, thanks’ Buck’”

  
  
”Well, I gotta go” Scott announces ”I have to see Hope later and she does not like when I’m late”

  
  
”No one likes late-ass people Scott” Sam comments, finally getting up and not missing the way Steve stopped moving.  
Bucky’s head snaps at this development.

  
  
”Sam?!”

  
  
Steve seems embarrassed and his face is even redder than before.

  
  
”Hi guys” Sam simply answers before he gets up to follow Scott outside only to be blocked by Steve.

  
  
”I- shit-”

  
  
It’s not a deliberate move not to look in his eyes. He already knew anyway.

  
  
”Excuse us” he hears Bucky say before he grabs both of them to lead them outside and in a quiet part of the floor.

  
  
He doesn't know where he is being lead to but he puts his hand on Bucky’s to make him let go when they are still in the hallway.

  
  
”What’s wrong?” he asks.

  
  
”Steve and I are together. In a relationship”

  
  
”Yeah”

  
  
Apparently, this is hot the reaction they were waiting for.

  
  
”This is it? You have nothing to say?”

  
  
”How, wow, you two? Together? This is brand new information” he delivers in his fakest voice.

  
  
The super soldiers look at each other, unsure of what to say.

  
  
”You already knew- how?” Steve asks a bit confused but guessing accurately.

  
  
It’s true that they never show anything in front of him. Maybe they were careful about that, or maybe, because Sam hadn't seen them together a lot since he is back, it could easily just have been a coincidence.

  
”Well, remember that accident with the birds? I guess it’s because I actually saw you two one morning and, well, I sure don’t French kiss my friends like that so-“

  
”Sam, I’m sorry”

“So what?” Bucky starts, cutting Steve in the process “you were mad and send birds to shit on us instead of acting like an adult and coming to talk?”

  
  
  
”Well sorry I got just a bit angry” he continues on the defensive, ”You know what, just add that to the ”Fucked up things Sam did” I’m sure it's quite full now”

  
”Oh wow Wilson, so mature of you”

  
  
”I don’t care, Robocop. This sucks. Being here sucks and having to see you together sucks too, there, I said it. I’ll deal with it anyway”

  
  
”You think this is okay?”

  
  
”Bucky, please” Steve interjected, trying to prevent an escalation. ”Sam, I’m sorry you learned about us this way. We should talk about it”

  
  
Sam shakes his head, chuckling to himself. He remembers thinking, before he was back here, that he should mess with them. Now it just seems ridiculous.

  
  
”Guys, I knew you two were in love long before I died. It’s not that complicated, really. Besides, no need for excuses, I bet you wanted to wait to ”protect me” but Bucky- oh Bucky, I know you couldn't wait to rub it in my face. That’s fair too, I guess”

  
  
Bucky is faster than Steve to object ”What the hell? You think I enjoy this?”

  
  
”Yes,” Sam answers honestly.

  
  
There's a moment of pure anger going through Bucky before he turns to walk away without a word, straight to his place.

Sam wants to kick him and bite him, just to teach him his place. Oops, there it is, his mind slipping. _Breathe Sam, breathe_.

  
  
”You have to talk to him and stop whatever bad blood there’s between you,” Steve says, eyes where Bucky disappeared.

  
  
”What? Why-”

  
  
”I do not care Sam. If we want to move forward, we need to face what’s wrong, starting with the two of you”

  
  
Sam is ready to argue but Steve is having none of it. Not only does he insists but he starts to get annoyed fast so Sam tells him that he is stupid and follow Bucky inside his apartment.

  
  
”Your fucking boyfriend is squaring up because he thinks we need to be friends again. Stupid Rogers”

  
  
”You know-” Bucky says from where he is standing in the middle of his living room ”Both Steve and you have that weird idea that I hate you, that I want you gone”

  
  
”Maybe turn down the aggressiveness then”

  
  
Bucky’s piercing eyes almost makes Sam uncomfortable so he stays against the door.

  
  
”Maybe don’t act like the worst fucker I ever met”

  
  
”What’s your problem Barnes? Just tell me already!”

  
  
”My problem, Wilson, is that I can’t trust you. You hid that you were dying, hid that you wanted to bring Steve back. You fought me to get him back. You literally fought me, instead of telling me-”

  
  
Sam cuts him ”You would have stopped me!”

  
  
” **DAMN RIGHT I WOULD HAVE!** What the fuck Sam- you went on a suicide mission and died in my fucking arms without telling me what was going on”  
Bucky tries not to cry but he starts to have his eyes water and that’s worse in Sam’s opinion.

  
  
”I brought him back for everyone. I did it for you-”

  
  
”No- no, don’t do this”

  
  
”But it’s true! You can’t tell me that you aren't happy to have him back”

  
  
”You know I am. I would have gave almost anything for that myself. But I wouldn't have gave you Sam. You act as if your life has less value than him. How can you?”  
Sam looks at the ceiling, unable to find anything to answer. The silence is telling.  
”When you came back, I hoped you went to Natasha or me but you didn't. It would have made sense if you weren't yourself but you were still you. You still made that woman call to help the people in Frost’s mansion”

  
  
”I know-”

  
  
”Do you? Because we had to kidnap you to get you back. Were you planning to ever come back?” Bucky asks.

  
  
”Yes-”

  
”Bullshit”

  
  
”-but not now” Sam finishes.

  
  
Bucky shakes his head, crosses his arm.

  
  
”When Steve died, I was devastated. I know this is something that can happen, everyday, but somehow I still managed to convince myself that it almost didn't apply to us. Our friends helped. You helped. I thought-” he chuckles to himself ”-I thought you were my rock, Sam. I thought it would be kind of okay as long as you were with me”

  
  
”Bucky-”

  
  
”Then you died, and I couldn't process what was happening and Steve was back. I thought I was going crazy. But **you** didn't came back. And it took us so long to discover what you did-”  
He takes a big breath, looking tired, wiping the tears of his eyes.

  
  
”I won’t say sorry for bringing Steve back. But, I do apologize for hurting you. I thought, at that time, that I was doing the best with what I had and obviously, I was wrong”

  
  
”Yeah, you were. Do you know we were the one who told your family?”

Sam feels struck by lightning. It shouldn’t been news, except it is. He made a point not to think about any of it and here was Bucky, not sounding angry anymore just tired and disappointed in him.

“Let me tell you what happened-“

Sam wants to stop him, tell him that he knows, but he doesn’t do it and he really doesn’t know anything.

“- Steve and I went to your mama’s house and your sister was here. Mind you, at that point we only saw your mom twice and your sister once. You should have seen how your sister looked at us. She blamed us, of course, and what could we say? But then, your mom came-”

Bucky pauses because the more he speaks, the more he feels the familiar anger toward Sam.

“Your mom ended up at the hospital because of the news that her second son was dead. And if that wasn’t terrible enough-“ he quickly adds, voice low and disgusted “-she still invited us to your fucking funeral with all of your family. And here you are-“ Bucky says, walking to Sam until they are face to face and at arm reach “-Telling me that you’re barely sorry? And that I should shut up and be grateful?”

Sam truly didn't know he could feel so much shame at a time.

“You are right Bucky. I did made bad choices and because of them, I hurt my friends, my family, I hurt Steve and I hurt you. I apologize for that. Truly. I am sorry”

He passes a hand on his eyes. His relationship with Bucky will never be like before, isn’t it? He wish he could find something to say that would make Bucky forgive him, but there is nothing.

“I should go. Bye James”

Bucky turns, saying nothing as Sam exits his place.


	15. Damn you, Steve

The next couple of days, Sam focuses on his own well-being. For someone who spend months feeling disconnected from his humanity, he sure feels heavy after his conversation with Bucky.  
He can’t right his wrongs with the two soldiers (or anybody else), but he can work on himself. He tries to get some peace of mind by working on his body as well. It’s getting better, he can walk out in the sun without feeling like burning, drink water, eat human food in very small quantities and not let his powers act on their own each time he feels something too strongly.

  
  
With a new understanding of his body, Sam starts to feel at home in his own skin, finally.   
He can tell Natasha is taking way more pleasure in sparing with him now that he knows how to let go and not be scared of himself at each turn.

  
  
”We said no flying Sam” she laments when he dodges one of her kick with an enhanced jump.

  
  
It’s with a giant smile that he answers ”I can’t fly, only float”

  
  
She isn't convinced, especially because Sam is still smiling. He does charming well but innocent? Not so much yet.

  
  
”Mind if I get a round or two?” Bucky’s voice asks from the door.

  
  
He is wearing a dark blue jogging and a black tee shirt with long sleeves. His hair, in a ponytail, captures Sam attention without any apparent reason.  
Natasha agrees before Sam has the time to accept or refuse, already walking to sit in a corner.  
  
Their eyes doesn’t met until he is taking a fighting stance in front of him.  
  
Since he is back at the facility, he never spared with Bucky or Steve. He wonders if it’s going to be okay. Last time they fought, it wasn't a pleasant souvenir and last time they talked isn’t better. Sam has no clue why Bucky would want to spare with him unless it’s the perfect cover to hit him.

“I am confused by your presence here” he admits, there’s no point to pretend this isn’t awkward.

“Would you prefer that we avoid each other some more, Wilson?”

“I would prefer-“ he starts, stopping himself to say anything that would lead to another fight. Maybe he should just roll with it, stop asking question. He lets the resignation show, his face a clear representation of “ _I don’t care, do what you want_ ”.

It’s enough for Natasha, even from afar, to intervene, shouting a loud ”Alright boys, go!”  
  
Bucky isn't here to play as Sam rightly thought. He tries to limit Sam’s opportunities to escape by pushing him into a corner. It takes some time for Sam to get into it, partially because he doesn’t understand how Bucky can be here as if they hadn’t had a painful heart to heart barely more than a week before. He starts to understand the strategy so he plays along, going back and back until he can jump against the wall and propel himself against Bucky’s chest. It would have worked perfectly if not for Bucky grabbing his arm, blocking his retreat and getting them both laying on their back on the floor.  
Sam recovers fast and uses his knowledge to hit Bucky’s weak points to his visible surprise.  
How do they end up with Bucky on the floor, Sam sitting on his torso, Bucky’s head between his tights and the metal hand around his neck is a mystery

”Not bad Wilson”

  
  
”Just ”Not bad”? Man, I got you” he laughs, getting up and helping Bucky to do so as well.

Can he dare believe that things are okay between them now? That they are at least on speaking terms?

  
  
”I’ll let you believe that”

  
  
”You want another chance Frieza?”

  
  
Bucky chuckles ”I know who this is and you’ll regret that”

  
  
”If I was into men more I’ll probably find that exchange really hot,” Natasha says loudly from her corner.  
  
To be honest, Sam forgot she was here because of the fight, Oops.

  
”Maybe I should- you know- go”

  
  
Bucky cocks his head to the left ”Scared?”

  
  
Sam is unimpressed, placing himself away just to put some distance and making a hand movement. If Bucky wants to play, ”Show me what you got”  
  
They end up fighting for an hour straight and they only stop because Bucky has to leave. Sam makes a point to ignore the weird look Natasha sends him. He is almost sure he won the fight anyway.

  
Bucky wakes up with light kisses on his neck, arm, and torso.  
  
”I like to be woken up like that,” he says with a sleepy voice, letting Steve kiss him as he wants.  
  
”Mhh Mhh” his boyfriend agrees, adding tongue to his somewhat previously innocent kisses.  
  
He lazily opens his eyes and rubs his face while the other man goes further down, reaching his happy trail, then his pubis.  
  
Steve is definitely enthusiastic today, licking and licking more, rubbing and sucking. Bucky is quickly panting, breathe short and body waking up in the most delicious way. He spread his legs slowly when an adventurous finger starts to go under his balls. Steve looks into his eyes when he pushes Bucky’s ass up and shamelessly eat his ass while masturbating him.

  
  
”Stop that, I’m gonna cum”

  
  
”That’s the goal, babe”

  
  
Steve is tongue fucking him so good he can feel himself opening already. The excess saliva? He uses it to jack him off in ways that make him shiver.

  
  
”Fuck, fuck-”

  
  
Steve is going even harder at that and all of Bucky’s body shakes with the squirts on his torso and face.  
  
Eyes closed, he is not ready for Steve letting his body lay on the bed and kissing him as filthily as he does, tasting him along the way.

  
  
”Love ya”  
  
”I love you too” Bucky sends back, smiling at his boyfriend.

  
  
This morning, they have nothing more pressing to do than being together and enjoy. They aren't in a rush so even if they do go to the shower quickly, they just end up against one another on their couch. Steve wants to memorize that kind of day. Happy, not a single problem on the horizon, almost complete.  
  
Almost.  
  
They already had that conversation but he can’t shut that voice in his head telling him that someone should be here with them. It’s not that Bucky isn’t enough, it’s that he knows in his bones that Sam should be here too. Steve doesn't feel like he has the right to actually pursue anything beyond friendship with him however. Not till both of them opens to the idea eventually.  
He is so scared of losing Bucky that he hasn't brushed the topics since Sam agreed to stay permanently a few days ago.  
  
The relationship between Bucky and Sam is some kind of interrogation point to him. They are polite now, seemingly no animosity since they talked, which is great. However, Steve started to notice that when Sam is in presence with only one of them, everything would be fine but if Bucky and him are in the same place, Sam would be more distant.  
  
How to explain all of this to your boyfriend without him freaking out?

He manages to speak on the topic during Maria’s birthday party.  
  
Steve and Bucky are on the balcony, both looking inside at the other guest. The half vampire sitting next to Scott and Helen catches their attention, smiling and listening to the Doctor telling a funny story.

  
  
”It’s weird to think that we are finally all here. That it could have never happened”

  
  
”What’s going on Rogers?” Bucky asks with a grin ”Going all negative suddenly? This is a party you know?”

  
  
”No, no. It’s just- it’s good that’s he’s here you know? I think we were right in bringing him back”

  
  
Bucky looks at Steve’s face, seeing nothing hidden behind his message ”Yes, we were. He’s doing good”

  
  
Steve nods, finishes his wine. Sam has moved to the middle of the room, not exactly dancing but moving his body along the music while talking to Maria.  
Steve catches Bucky eyes and the direction he is looking at.

  
  
”Nice view uh?”

  
  
”I don’t know what you’re talking about” he automatically answers, face red suddenly and turning it away.

  
  
Steve smiles, passing a hand on Bucky’s back above his belt.

  
  
”It’s okay Buck’. It’s a very nice- ass”

  
  
”Shut up Steve,” Bucky clap back, rolling his eyes and turning his face once again to the people but making sure he keeps his eyes above the shoulders.  
”You still love him right?”

  
  
Bucky is careful in his tone. The last thing he wants is to sound accusatory, angry or jealous.

  
  
Steve, however, almost panic and wants to make sure Bucky doesn’t misinterprets his feelings “It doesn't mean I don't love you or that I love you less”

  
  
”I know, I know. It’s just- I can’t trust him right now. You two have that connection and your history together but Sam and me- I’m not making any sense” he says frustrated with himself.

  
  
”It’s okay, take your time”

  
  
Bucky takes deep breathes and organizes his thoughts ”What I want to say is that I know you love him, and I bet he still loves you too. So if both of you want to take things further, you should do it”

  
  
Steve's eyes are on the floor then on his boyfriend’s face.

  
  
”What about you?”

  
Bucky shrugs, he has no answer to provide for now.  
  
”What if it doesn't work?” he presses.

  
  
”Steve, we both knew that bringing him back meant more than just having a ”friend” again. I’m just telling you that you have options. You are still free to do whatever you want”

  
  
Steve frowns, this time turning completely away from the party. They are facing the part of the domain directly giving on the forest. Far enough from any city to see the stars in the sky, he tries to make up his mind while Bucky starts to move.

  
  
”I’m leaving, this is enough socialization for one night”

  
He gives him a hug from behind, kissing his neck. Steve grabs one of his hand and brings it to his lips.

  
  
”I’ll come later” he promises.

  
  
Bucky let’s go and Steve hears some complaint that he is leaving too early and how he is a grandpa.  
  
Only when he is gone, Steve turns toward the rest of the guests again. He swears Sam just turned his head away from his direction. He sees him fail to carry his attempt at stealth when he turns his head again to look at Steve, visibly embarrassed to have been caught.  
He simply turns away, feigning sudden interest in what Clint is telling.  
  
It makes Steve smile. He remembers all the things he dismissed who could indicate that Sam may have feelings for him. It seems like a lifetime ago. He should have known.  
  
He remembers wondering, before that decisive night if he really was in love with Sam Wilson or if his mind was playing with him. He was such a fool before- he still is today, he feels. Loving both of them had been a fact for some time but it never occurred to him before that he could have both.  
  
He is sure of his feeling, has been for quite some time, What he needs to know is, what about Sam’s? And what about Sam and Bucky toward each other?  
Now that he has some sort of benediction from his boyfriend, he feels coy about being the one having to change things even more between them.  
  
Another song and the party is meeting its end.  
Sam, along with Maria and Scott are dancing with passion, live for each word as if they were their own. Sam points a finger at Steve dramatically, almost run to him to take him by the arm and drag him along. Steve laugh, a bit embarrassed.  
Sam is jumping next to him, an arm around his neck till the end of the song.  
  
He looks and feels radiant. It has nothing to do with him being half vampire or his powers and everything to do with his smile and the way he moves. He makes you feel part of the world by simply being near you.  
  
Steve risks a stroke to the back of Sam’s neck and wins a gigawatts smile for his trouble.  
  
What is he so afraid of?

  
  
The party thins out until there’s only Natasha, Sam and Steve.  
Even if someone will come in the morning to clean, they try to leave the place a bit less chaotic.  
It doesn't take long at all and Natasha is the next to say goodnight.

  
”It was a nice party” Sam says without prompting.

  
  
”Yeah. It's good to be together and celebrate happy things”

  
  
Sam nods, putting the last paper sheet in the trash bag.

  
  
”There’s something I need to talk to you about,” he says, putting the bag away. He knows Steve is listening.  
”When I decided to kill Frost, I was in a dark place. I was bitter about so many aspects of what happened- Well, I have no regret about what I did, I think it’s important for you to know that”  
He pauses, turns to Steve. The man looks at him, simply listening. Sam takes a deep breath just to give him more courage ” When you found me, I had already decided to come back by myself”

  
  
”Why haven't you then? We were waiting for you”

  
  
”Because!- because my plan was to come back, find out who Frost was working for and eliminate them too. I wasn't coming back for any of you”

  
  
Steve isn't pleased but this isn't about what could have been ”Why are you still here?”

  
  
”What do you think?” Sam asks back, pain written all over his face. ”I fucked myself over, once again. I didn’t even have the time to think about a plan that we were sleeping in your bed. Do you know how it felt? To be between you two? When I knew what you were doing in that bed together? It threw me off so much that I stopped thinking about Frost and his entourage.” He pauses, sounding more defeated than angry before adding “Bucky and you- you are happy together. I can see that”

  
  
All of this is happening too quickly for Steve ”Why are you telling me this?”

  
  
”Because I need to get some distance between us. I’m not that strong Steve. You understand right?”  
  
There’s so much hope in Sam’s eyes, hope that he could just disappear without Steve making thing complicated that he nods.  
He regrets it immediately but Sam smiles, relief obvious.  
  
”Thanks”

  
  
With that, he is gone.  
  
Gone.  
  
_No_.  
  
Steve doesn't agree with that.  
  
In fact, this is the complete opposite of what he wants. If he had talked to Sam before, he wouldn't be seeing him get away from them. If only he had spoken up earlier-  
No, he has to stop Sam. He has to make him understand.  
  
He rushes out of the room, Sam is slowly walking away, hands in his pants’ pocket.

  
  
”SAM”

  
  
He turns, confused. Steve looks like he is about to attack him with how determined he seems.

  
  
”St-”

  
  
”Just listen to me, please. Jesus- You can’t go. I know this is a complicated situation, your doubts are mine too, and Bucky’s as well. I don’t have the answers yet but don’t walk away. There’s a place for you here. There’s one with us if you want to”

  
  
Sam shakes his head, incredulous ”You are losing your damn mind Rogers”

  
  
”Yes, and you know why? Because I spent way too much time pining after Bucky AND you Sam. I don’t know how you can not see it” Steve does his best to say all of this eyes to eyes ”I’m not going to pretend that its easy but I need you, here. So please- don't leave”  
Sam initially wants to stop Steve and tell him that his mind is set but the chance of Steve’s vision being real is paralyzing him. Steve can see it on his face, how he feels hesitant to even consider the idea as possible.  
“What are you so scared of?”

  
  
“I don’t know- I don’t know Steve okay? I don’t want to believe in this fantasy because I know it’s not that simple”

  
  
“Let’s imagine something. Let’s say that we had that dinner and no one had died. Let’s say we started dating then-“

  
  
Sam shakes his head “Steve, come on-“

  
  
“Just let me finish, okay? Imagine it. We are dating. Imagine now that I told you that I was in love with Bucky”

  
  
“I would have told you to go with him because I already knew you loved him!”

  
  
“You would have gave up on me?” Steve asks more doubtful than hurt.

  
  
“YES!-“

  
  
“-“

  
  
“Maybe-”

  
  
“-“

  
  
“Stop that”

  
  
With his most innocent face, Steve falsely ask “Stop what?”

  
  
“Your face. You don’t believe me”

  
  
“I believe you are scared of admitting that you want the same thing as me”

  
  
“Which is?”

  
  
“You, me AND Bucky. Together”

  
  
Sam crosses his arms. It sounds too good to be possible. Besides, being in a relationship is taking time, strength and honesty. He has been lacking in the last department lately.

  
  
“I don’t understand how you can talk to me about this when Bucky is still mad at me”

  
  
  
“We are two different people. I am not saying that everything is fine, but we need to think about the future and I need you in it just as much as I need Bucky. And I know you two can work on your issues”

  
  
After all Sam did, is there a way for him to be with them both? Isn’t he being greedy?

  
  
“I’ll think about it” he finally concedes, turning his head away.  
He still can see Steve smile next to him and his body getting closer. When he feels Steve’s lips on his cheek, he smiles without being able to stop it. He tries to scold his face but it doesn’t really work.  
“It’s enough! Go back to your boyfriend” he says while still smiling.

  
  
“Yeah. Okay. See you soon, future bae?” Steve asks while walking out of the room quickly.

  
  
“I NEVER SAY OKAY TO THAT! WHO TOLD YOU ABOUT BAE? ” Sam screams, feeling like an idiot.  
  
Damn you Steve.


	16. Closure/Opening

Sam wakes up peacefully the next morning. Steve’s words are still on his mind as he motivates himself to get out of bed. He takes a glass of blood and some yogurt to start the day, not that the yogurt serves any nutritional purpose but if he ever wants to eat his mom’s food again, he has to train his body everyday.

After a shower and getting dressed, he walks to one of the mission boardroom, looking at what needs their attention and what is already being taken care of.

Most of the missions are in goods hands and nothing seems like an intergalactic threat, which is pleasing. He is about to leave when he notices two agents typing and whispering about passing a mission from a level two to a level three or four.

Whoever was on that mission apparently had the unpleasant surprise to see the intervention of a third party.

The number of time a ”surprise” would pop during a mission is too high for him to be alarmed. They tend to have a plan B or C.

There’s apparently no other Avenger here right now which isn't exactly all that uncommon but it does make him think about the reason he wanted to be back for in the first place, a quest almost put away.

Now would be the perfect moment to snoop around and see if there’s anything about Frost’s employer.

But would that be a good idea?

A part of him thinks that he totally should and since they know he killed Frost, if they are stupid enough to let the information accessible to him, they can’t be surprised if he uses them. On the other hand, neither Bucky nor Steve would appreciate him going, once again, behind everyone’s back, not after everything that happened.

But should he really do it? He is doing better, his relationship with both Steve and Bucky is starting to recover from Frost’s and his own actions. This whole thing already cost too much. Going after whoever might be considered as responsible too won’t change anything and there’s no way the two men or anyone else won’t see it as a form of betrayal.  He gets out of the room, confident in his choice.

  
  


* * *

At noon, he receives an invitation from Scott to come to his house later, his daughter asking for him since Scott accidentally talked to her about him recently.

At first, he hesitates, not wanting to think ”food” anywhere near her (the hunger makes no difference between age, sex or gender for now, he has been told that your taste gets more refined with age). During the call, he mentions it to Scott who reassures him and tells Sam that he trust him.

It put some pressure on him so he makes sure to feed right before getting out of the car. Someone else calls at this moment, the Id showing a bright “Captain”.

”Hey man”

”Hey Sam, am I interrupting you?” Steve asks, voice clear of any bad sign.

”Not really, what’s up?”

”We are back, everything went great, for once. Where are you?”

Sam checks in a mirror that no blood can be seen on his teeth, this wouldn’t be cute.

”At Scott’s. Going to spend some time with Cassie and him”

There’s some silence on the other side of the phone. Sam believes Steve is speaking with someone, probably Bucky but he can't hear.

Steve hastily sends a ”See you later” before hanging up. He looks at the phone with confusion then takes a deep breath and moves out of the car.

The man who actually opens the door isn’t Scott and Sam never saw him before.

The first thing he thinks is that he looks like someone’s dad. Asian, a bit smaller than him, white shirt and not a single untamed follicle on his hair.

“Hi, you must be Mister Wilson! Welcome, Scott is in the kitchen”

Oh, and a charming smile with that.

“And you are?”

“You can call me Jimmy” he answers while moving to let Sam enter.

It doesn't really says much about him and his relation to the Lang but Sam will find out eventually.

“Well, in that case, call me Sam”

Scott was indeed in the kitchen with Cassie who practically ran into Sam to say hello.

“Did you had a fight with my dad? He says you were on a very long mission but I don’t know if it’s true” she asks even before Scott has the time to properly great his guest.

Sam laughs and reassures her that, no, he did not have a fight with her dad and that he likes him very much. He tries not to smile at Scott indignant face after being almost called a liar.

She has a curious look on her face, looking at the three men alternatively before shrugging.

She goes to the living room with Jimmy.

”Kids, I swear. I can tell she is going to give me sleepless nights again as a teenager”

Scott is apparently preparing two batch of cookies. Sam notices the bowl with three cookies already done and looking a bit different, especially because of the dark burgundy color.

”Strawberry?”

”Wellllll-” he begins hesitantly ”No. But it’s for you actually”

”I’ll make three days to eat one cookie” Sam laughs ”Thank you, this is a nice attention”

”I looked at a recipe on internet, the kind you could eat actually. Can you taste this one? I tried earlier but it doesn’t seems perfect yet”

Sam is suspicious. What is that supposed to be?

They look like regular cookies if only for the color. He concentrates on the smell of them and there definitely is a very faint metallic taint to it.

”Scott-” he warns because he is not about to put some new age fake blood cookie in his body.

”Don’t worry. It really shouldn't be too weird-” he starts, giving a small piece of it to Sam who sniffs it, clearly doubtful. ”-but actually, uh, the- secret ingredient comes from me so-”

”SCOTT! You tasted that thing?!”

”What is going on?” Jimmy asks when he comes back, followed as well by Scott’s daughter.

She looks at the piece in Sam's hand, a piece that he was about to put away.

”Daddy said you had a lot of allergies so he made them himself. Are they good?”

And now, Sam is fucked because Cassie has so much hope in the eyes that not eating it would be insulting.

He wonders if Cassie and Jimmy knows what they really are, what he really is.

Giving the other two a reassuring smile, he put the bit in his mouth, think about hiding it behind his tongue, and pretend that it’s good. The flavor hijacks his thoughts and he accidentally bites into it.

It’s over cooked but the vanilla, chocolate and blood are dancing on his tongue. Yeah, it also taste like cardboard but a tasty cardboard.

“You’re delicious. I mean it’s delicious” Sam corrects.

No one besides Scott seems to notice what he just said. He is all smile. Sam wonders if thinking that someone’s blood taste good is really a compliment. God, now he is thinking about accidentally bites someone’s erected dick and just, no.

”Thanks, buddy. Everything will be ready later”

Sam didn't know you could actually cook with blood, so he is impressed and touched by the attention.

  
  


Not long after that, Hope arrives too, having some downtime after her meeting and before she has to go to a gala later that day.

It’s when he sees Scott, Hope and Jimmy interact that Sam starts to ask himself some questions on what is going on here.

Hope had kissed Scott on the lips when she entered the house and kissed the cheeks of both Jimmy and Sam. It made Sam believe that Scott was dating Hope but then, he saw Jimmy shamelessly put a hand on Scott’s ass when they both went in the kitchen to bring back some refreshment.

It also was when Sam knew they all perfectly knew he was a vampire except for Cassie since he had a *wink* glass of special cocktail *wink*.

When Hope goes upstairs to start getting ready for the gala, Cassie follows her to help.

”Hey, I didn't tell Cassie about you but if you want to explain it to her, I’m cool with that” Scott says as if the real tea here wasn't his relationship with two people. Sam thinks about it, wondering if this is a good idea or not.

The bell rings just at this moment.

Scott’s brows furrows, showing to Sam that he doesn't expect other guests. He gets ready to fight if he has to and can see that Jimmy reaching for his weapon just in case.

When Scott comes back, Bucky and Steve follow him.

”What are you guys doing here?”

”Sam! Well, you told us you were having a party at Scott’s so-” Steve starts, showing a wine bottle in his hand.

Sam answers quickly but gets ignored by almost everyone ”I never said that”

”Oh, Jimmy, you are here too” Bucky notices. It’s impossible to know if it’s a pleasant surprise or not. All Sam can take of it is that they know each other. ”Look Steve, Jimmy is here, with Scott and Sam. I don’t see Cassie however”

Sam knows Bucky enough to recognize his suspicious tone. What is he suspicious about?

”Cassie is upstairs with Hope. She has an event later so she’s getting ready” Jimmy respond innocently.

Sam wants to know more about their apparent lack of comprehension but Scott just says that he is glad he prepared too many cookies anyway.

By the time Hope comes back, preceded by Cassie, the men are chatting and joking. Hope has to leave but not without commenting on how it would be more fun to stay with them. Another kiss to Scott to say goodbye and she is gone, leaving behind her the smell of an expansive perfume.

When Scott comes back with the cookies and gives one to Sam, he tries not to be too self-conscious. How can a simple thing like eat could be so stressful?

Bucky eyes the cookie Scott gives Sam and asks if he can have one of them too since they clearly look different (preventing Cassie to accidentally eat one).

”I can’t, they are specially made for Sam,” Scott says with a wink to the half-vampire who just feel glad to be able to ingest it all without feeling like someone put a brick inside.

”I didn't know you could have vam- I mean special food” Steve interjects.

Scott corrects ” Because of his allergies” with a discreet nod toward his daughter.

”Yeah, exactly, because of your allergies” Steve agrees, face more red.

”Scotty, you treats me so well-”

”It’s normal for boyfriends to treat each other well,” Cassie comments while changing the channel on the TV. Besides Scott and Jimmy, no one knew she was listening to the conversation.

All heads are turning to her simultaneously before Bucky beats everyone and asks ”Boyfriends?” in a strangled voice.

She turns to him ”Yes, Sam is dad’s boyfriend. Like Jimmy. And dad has Hope as a girlfriend too. He’s very popular”

Sam laughs openly but Scott and Jimmy’s are more nervous than amused, especially since Steve looks at them with a very off-putting, two seconds away from being threatening, face.

”Yeah he is” Sam comments, which, in retrospect, isn't a bright idea. He should deny that he is Scott’s man right away instead.

”Sam! Man, come on”

”What? You have some success, it’s true” Now he needs to clarify the situation to the young girl “Cassie, I am not dating your father but he is a very dear friend of mine”

Which calms everyone but Cassie isn't exactly done.

”Why not? Don’t you think he is pretty and funny? That’s what Jimmy said when I asked him if he liked my dad”

Jimmy would very much like to disappear into thin air, trying to say that he did not pronounce those exact words even if he agrees with them. Scott goes to him and kisses his forehead with a visibly fond smile.

”Well Sam, do you think he is pretty and funny?” Bucky repeats, a bit of jealousy can be heard in his voice.

For some reasons, it makes Sam almost shiver. This is ridiculous, he can't seriously think that he is about to date Scott. Never has he ever hinted at thinking about him like that.

”Scott is plenty funny and cute, it doesn't mean that I want to be in a romantic relationship with him” he explains to everyone. Just to be a little shit he throws to Scott ”Unless you’re down to it” with a wink.

”Bro’”

”Bro”

”You are both idiot” Bucky deadpans.

He is joined by Jimmy ”I agree on that one” and Steve ”This isn't all that funny”.

Cassie takes a hard look at all of them ”Who is dating who then? This is too complicated”

”I am sort of dating Hope and sort of dating Jimmy” Scott starts, which doesn't explain much besides that Jimmy and Hope are not in a relationship.

”And I’m dating this one” Steve answers too, pointing at Bucky.

Cassie gasps ”So you are all alone?”

Okay, presented like that, it does hurt a bit Sam thinks. He just smiles ”Yep. But I have friends so it’s not that terrible. You don’t have to be with someone to be happy”

She seems to consider it and nods before walking to Sam and hugging him.

He remembers his two nieces and little cousins suddenly, the family he had left behind. When Cassie let's go, he whispers ”I’ll be back” before going upstairs as normally as he could.

When he steps into the bathroom, it still has Hope’s perfume smell in it. It’s nice.

There are two soft knocks in the door. Sam is so deep in his thoughts he almost jumps at the sound.

”Yeah?”

The door opens on Bucky, closing once he is inside. He just waits, silently.

”I’m coming, just give me a few minutes to freshen up”

A poor excuse, he knows.

Bucky comes closer and Sam is still facing the mirror, head down and eyes far from the sink they are yet facing.

Bucky locks his arms around him from behind.

”Come on man, it’s okay-”

Bucky’s hug becomes stronger. Sam brings a hand to him, holding on and letting the other man’s body anchor him.

Sam turns and look at him.

”Sorry, I thought I was doing well. That I was at peace with everything but- well, it takes some time to get better” he uses his counselling voice even if he is the one feeling all of this ”the road to recovery isn't linear”

”Yeah, I know”

He remembers, Bucky told him that he thought Sam was his rock. Maybe Bucky can be his. The idea makes a small smile bloom on his face.

”Thank you Bucky, for being here”

”Always, if you let me”

Sam smiles despite himself, chuckling at how the words went right to his heart. He gently pushes Bucky until he takes a step back.

”Careful, Cowboy, it's easy to misunderstand these kind of words” and adds, ”Let’s go before they start to have their imagination go crazy”

Sam is about to turn toward the door when an arm holds him and makes him face Bucky again.

The other man is looking at him with a deep intensity and next thing he knows, Bucky kisses him.

He did wonder how kissing Bucky would be like a lot of times, too many for him to say it proudly even, but being in Scott’s bathroom, tasting cookie on his strangely soft lips wasn't a scenario he thought of.

He simultaneously wants more and wants to stop so he chooses to stop before it gets too heated.

  
  


”Misunderstand that” Bucky says with a playful look before leaving the bathroom, Sam right behind him.

He can either try to argue about the kiss or try to scold his face into appearing as neutral as possible. He chooses to control his face and thankfully, no one seems to think much of his short disappearance.

Steve does smile at him with a nod as if he already knew, it makes Sam turns his face away, feeling hotter than a second before.

  
  


When Steve and Bucky decide to leave, they assume Sam would do the same. ”We should go, Cassie has school tomorrow,” Steve says, looking for his vest and, finding Sam’s first, giving it to him.

So Sam nods and says goodbye to Scott, Cassie, and Jimmy. The young girl does insists that it's a shame that Sam doesn't come more often. Right to his heart.

Steve only waits for the three of them to be in the elevator once back to the facility to talk about the latest sensitive topic ”So- about that kiss-”

Bucky groans, ”Real subtle Stevie”

”I see news travel fast”

”Well, we communicate in this relationship. Might be hard for you at first but I bet you’ll remember your work at the VA, where you brought us too many time I might add, and start to be more open” Bucky attacks.

Sam feign being hurt ”You’re so mean to me” as he walks out of the elevator, suddenly surrounded by the two men. ”Uh?”

”Well we were thinking that if you were free tonight we could maybe see a movie or something,” Steve proposes.

Sam rolls his eyes, way too pleased at the proposition and way too annoyed at himself for feeling like a blooming teenager. He accepts, but only if it’s at his place.

His original plan is to regularly go to the kitchen and enjoy a sip of blood while drinking water in front of them but Steve is having none of that after the second time he leaves them.

“Sam, you don’t have to hide, we know you need blood to survive!” the blond all but yell from the couch.

Sam stays frozen for a second, the glass still in his hands.

He is right, this is who he is now anyway. It does seems incongruous to put his lukewarm spiced blood between Bucky’s vodka-orange and Steve whiskey.

Steve gives him a reassuring smile and Bucky doesn’t seems to care, still, what is the protocol for blood drinkers eventually having to kiss someone who doesn’t? Should he brush his teeth before? He feels self conscious about things he never considered in his life before tonight.

He tries to stay still, finishing his drink by the middle of the movie. At this point, Steve has an arm behind Sam’s head to pet Bucky’s hair while the other super soldier is giving lights strokes to Sam’s tights.

It’s soft and comfortable but Sam can’t shake the feeling that everything can tip into a much more intimate exchange if someone decides to.  It pushes him to get up and discreetly go to the bathroom to brush his teeth with energy. A mouthwash later and he gets out fresh as a daisy.

This time, Steve is in the middle, half laying on top of Bucky. He simply opens an arm for Sam to snuggle in a similar position.

Steve’s heartbeat is way more interesting than the movie and Sam could fall asleep just listening to it. He wishes he would never forget this very moment.

“You really thought I was about to date Scott uh?” Sam giggles as he feels Steve whole body tense under him. If they believed he forgot about that, they believed wrong.

“That’s not exactly what we thought” He defends himself.

“I am not about to let you slip through our fingers when we are this close to get you Wilson” Bucky says, challenging. He moves to gets up and face Sam, pushing him so that he can ,basically, straddle him. “The only question is, are you ready for us, right Steve?”

“I mean-“ he blushes “-Yeah, we want you so, like he said, are you ready?”

Sam can’t help the smile from taking over his face “I was born ready Rogers” he answers, looking at him in the eyes before putting a hand on Bucky’s neck to bring him down to him.

Some of Bucky’s hair fall on his face, deliciously tickling him as they kiss their feeling on one another. The way Bucky looks at Steve when they separate is feverish yet relieved and happy.

When Steve kisses him, Sam doesn’t want to let go, his lower region twitching with anticipation. A movement noticed by Bucky who smirks proudly. When he gets up and Sam has a bit of disappointment showing on his face, he feels even better. He is nice enough to bring Steve to him. For this one, they both end up on their knee, facing one another. Steve brings a hand up to trace Sam’s brow and cheek “You’re beautiful,” he whispers before kissing him again but more deeply this time. Sam can only hold himself on Steve, their tongue sending electricity all over his body.

“Fuck, I love you. I love you both” he says in between the dance of their mouth, his feelings so intense he doesn’t notice how they reach for his power. How could he when their clothes start to feel like a prison and he wants nothing more than to them to fill his every senses?

“Sam?”

“Hmm?” he answers to Steve, way too busy with kissing his jaw.

“I think we have an audience”

Both Bucky and him turn toward the window. On the whole balcony, birds are here, heads turn to them, not a single sound coming from them.

“What the fuck, Sam?”

“I didn’t- shit, wait here, I got this”

He extracts himself from them, walking to the window and opening just enough to let his head pass, which would be enough for a lot of them to hop in anyway.

“Guys, why are you here?” he whispers urgently.

Now, birds have the concept of procreation but not the concept of sex like humans do. For all they knew, Sam was doing his parade to catch his mates.

“Yes, they are my partners now, but you can’t come to look at that, I’m sorry, I’ll try not to reach out for you like that again”

They may not be that bothered but he still had to feed them so the whole sexy mood got a bit delayed as Bucky and Steve are joking about Sam feeding the birds. Eventually, they left them alone and Sam closes the curtains with an embarrassed sight.

Still, this reminds him that he should probably talk about sex before something stupid happen.

He decides to be straightforward and tell them that he doesn’t know if he can be in control during sex because he only had one try since he has been changed and it ended up badly.

It’s not an easy thing to admit but if not for the birds, he isn’t sure he would have stopped himself.

Fortunately, while Steve and Bucky didn’t have the same exact experience, theirs was still pretty close as they had to learn to control their strength, even for the most mundane stuff. Sex had been a tricky one for them too, Steve and Bucky both starting to talk about their sexual failures due to the nature of their body.

“I would lie if I said that I trust myself totally about that but if you want to try- we can. Just, let’s try to be careful you know?” Sam concludes finally.

He guesses that being thrown over Steve’s shoulder and brought to the bedroom is a good enough answer. He feels vulnerable as they take his clothes off. They join him soon in the same state of nakedness and at first, they just take the time to discovered their body in a way they never did before with Sam. They take good care of him, most of his moans are swallowed by one or the other. When Bucky is sucking him, bobbing his head while Steve decides to attack his neck, he feels on the edge of having his teeth pop. He ask for a short pause, letting his body fall back on hearth a little. When he looks at them, the way Bucky gets on all four and arch his back while sucking Steve makes him crazy. “Damn” he thinks, he looked at that ass so much and now it’s here, in his full glory. Steve has no shame spreading the two cheek to reveal the brownish hole, inviting Sam closer.

The grazing of Sam’s teeth on his ass make Bucky shivers, Sam is teasing him so much he practically pushes his butt on his face.

“Come on Sam-“ he complains.

So he dives in, a passion close to voracity, licking and sucking until he can make him pucker. Bucky is a mess under him and Steve marvels at the view. When he starts to play around it with his fingers, he can tell Bucky wants it.

“You’re so beautiful baby” Steve says to Bucky before looking at Sam, making sure he knows it’s for him too.

Sam remembers that he does not have lube, he wasn’t planning on anything like this and sex hasn’t been on his mind lately. He shares his embarrassment with the two men and Bucky jumps to get some with way too much speed, butt naked and bumping itself against the door.

It occurs to Sam that something else is missing “I don’t have condom either on me”

Steve thinks about it “From a health point of view, neither us nor you can have diseases. If you are more comfortable with it I can find some”

Bucky is back, dick covered with a hand and a clear bottle in the other “I went out for twenty seconds, what managed to ruin the mood that fast?” he notices.

Sam sights “The mood isn’t ruined, I was just telling Steve that I don’t have condom either but he made a point by saying that we couldn’t catch anything and it’s not like we aren’t tested regularly anyway so I guess I don’t need to worry”

Steve comes closer, putting his hand on his arm “Is this only about the condom, or because you afraid of losing control too? We don’t have to do anything you know? Let’s just breathe and not- umhph”

Sam kisses him with determination, only stopping to say “I want this. Just don’t let me hurt you okay?”

Bucky sits on the bed, kissing Steve shoulders and smiling “Like you could Wilson”

He knows how to play the game, that’s for sure. Sam grabs him, making him fall on the bed and places himself so fast between his legs, even Bucky let’s a surprised noise escape him.

“Steve, babe, would you be nice and lube us, please?”

“Aye Captain” Steve answers with a delighted voice.

Sam moves so that his dick is rubbing and teasing the hole, making Bucky believes that each thrust would finally be the one getting inside him. He lightly punch Sam’s torso “Get in already!”

Sam laughs at his frustrated tone and face, Steve puts himself behind him, keeping him steady and kissing his shoulder, then his neck.

He moans loudly when, slowly, he enters Bucky who closes his eyes. Steve bites his neck the moment he is completely in. He has a hard time not losing all focus at the sensation. His teeth does pop out but he is himself. The movement aren’t slow for long, Steve moving to get above Bucky in a sixty nine does nothing to calm Sam, especially with every look Steve gives him while he plays with Bucky’s precome.

“Come here, I w ant to suck you too” he says, getting Steve to be up on the bed and present his thick cock, still shining with Bucky’s saliva in front of him.

He breathe deep to let his teeth go back to normal and take Steve in his mouth.

His senses are close to overload, the taste, of both Bucky and Steve, the smell of pure lust in the room, the moans they all let, as they get closer to orgasm, how their body fit together-, he looks at Steve, fucking Bucky even faster and deeper as he grabs his legs.

“I am not gonna last” he warns, before taking Steve dick back in, sucking harder.

He knows, the second Steve grabs his cock that he is close too.

“Damn, fuck, fuck-“ Bucky shouts and his hole contracts around Sam as the thick liquid runs out of his dick.

Sam is right behind, the orgasm making him go deeper in Bucky and take Steve’s dick back, finishing him right in his mouth despite the blond trying to be a gentleman and say no. He eats it all, making a show of darting his tongue on the tip until Steve’s has to walk back and almost trip from the over stimulation.

Both of them can now admire the pool on Bucky’s abs and the twitch of his body when Sam leaves his ass.

“Fuck-“ Bucky repeats, giggling and an arm thrown above his face.

“Yeah, that was- Yeah- Why did we wait so much again?” Steve asks more to himself than to the others. “You okay Sam?”

He is still standing in front them, looking at the two men with a face they can’t decipher.

“Yep, I’m just surprised it went well. I mean, it was amazing but you know, I was- Sorry, I’m just- Uh” he finally says with eloquence.

“Who could have believed that good sex would finally make him speechless?” Bucky brags. Sam will let him have this. Just this one. “I like silent Sam, maybe we should do It again just to keep him quiet some more”

“Bucky, this is not nice" Steve starts "even if I see what you are doing here and it won’t-“

“I’m game” Sam cuts with a grin.

They did got him speechless some more.

* * *

It isn’t a surprise to Sam that some people knows about the recent evolution of his sentimental status as soon as the next day. He does feel a little embarrassed when Natasha ask him how it went but he knows what she means by that and he does admit that even if some moment were more tempting than others to just sink his teeth his someone, he eventually managed to keep enough brain not to do it.

Besides Natasha, Clint, obviously, who cheers and loudly congratulate him when they see each other at noon. Sam is the one who calls Scott to announce the news and the man seems genuinely happy for him, making him promise to come by soon with his two boyfriends. He makes a ton of innuendos that he immediately cut down when Steve’s face appears on the phone next to Sam.

Steve is still laughing at the sound Scott made when Natasha comes back to the common room.

“What about going out tonight? There’s a place I want to try and they have a special night for people like us”

Sam immediately agrees, feeling so festive he doesn’t ask for the place. Of course, Steve wants to come too and message Bucky about it who promise to be here soon.

When it’s time to go, they meet in the parking with Natasha looking like a totally different person with her colored lens, long black wig and all denim outfit. Apparently, the look reminds something to Bucky who switch to Russian to talk to her. It’s not every day that you can see Natasha looking a bit ashamed of herself and while Sam and Steve are curious about it, they know that if Bucky and Nat are talking in Russian, it’s because they know the others two don’t understand.

When they arrive after parking the car, Bucky, Steve and Sam recognize the infamous club. Turning to Natasha, she ignores them completely and continues to walk to the bouncer. They are guided to the VIP section and It’s only when Steve takes his jacket off that Sam notices his pendant. Steve isn’t really the jewelry type so he is surprised by the gold necklace with some sort of black crystal at the end, falling right in the middle of his pecs. When he compliment his boyfriend about it, he just smiles.

Out of the four of them, of course Steve would be recognized by someone with discretion issue, leading the "fan" to be gently lead out of the place. The bar, which is more of a club really, does have a lot of Z-listers coming in so you would think it would be common knowledge that the proper etiquette would be to not point fingers at people.

Sam quickly goes on the dancefloor with Natasha while Bucky and Steve have their first drink. When the two of them finally join, Sam grabs Bucky from the back, making them move on beat while Steve try to let loose and not move like a broken puppet. Sam knows he can dance when he isn’t as self-conscious so he encourages him.

He has to playfully bite Bucky to make him stop grinding his ass on his crotch, which the man denies totally (but not without putting his hand on it to check by himself if what he “didn’t do” worked.

When Sam decides to get Natasha and himself a drink, he walks toward the bar but someone collide with him while having a glass of champagne in each hand. The woman excuses herself thoroughly, telling him that the restroom is right there to rinse it out.

Sam is so focused on this that he doesn’t notice right away that everyone is leaving when they are coming in. He doesn’t have time to put his hand on the tap when he hears “We were looking for you for a long time Mister Wilson”

He turns but whatever that creature is, he can’t block the tail she got and can’t prevent himself from being stung by it. It takes five seconds for him to lose consciousness.

He has no idea how many time has passed when a loud bang wakes him up. From what he can tell, one, his hand are strapped to a wall with silver-laced chains and he can tell because they hurt and two, wherever he is, the thing is moving.

The room is small and white in an almost blinding way. He tries to reach out for some birds but there’s none around and, because of the chains, he feels weaker. The door opens, letting in a man in a suit and what he can only assume are his two goons. Two vampires at that.

“Make sure no one takes him” the man says and he walks out of here without a word to Sam.

“Can someone tell me what is going on?” he asks, but they ignore him, looking at the door, weapon ready.

If he focus enough, he can tell something is coming closer. A fight. The vampires knows it too and they became more agitated, closing the door quickly. All noises stop. The moment seems suspended for a second before the door flies right in the face of one of the vampire while the second is knocked out by Steve.

“Let’s go dance Steve, he said. It’s gonna be fun Steve, he said-“

“Aren’t you having fun?” Sam answers with a smile while his boyfriend is helping him to get free.

“We are in a gigantic plane full of enemy, Bucky and Natasha couldn’t make it so we are only two and worse than anything, we are currently above the ocean. No, I am not having fun”

Sam kisses him “thank you”. He can see how Steve is fighting to keep his frustrated face on so it makes him smirk “Any idea who got me?”

Steve seems angry for a second “Promise me you won’t do something stupid if I tell you now”

Sam knows if Steve takes the time to tell him this, the answers will not be pleasant but he is even more curious now so he insists.

“Dan Ode”

“Doesn’t ring a bell”

“Yeah, well, Bucky was apparently investigating him on and off for a while and turns out, it’s the man Frost was working for”

Sam face set in a perfect imitation of the Mona Lisa. Steve has no idea if Sam is happy, angry or if he had snapped. For five long seconds, he doesn’t move a muscle but people are coming their way so they have to move.

“I know this is a lot but I am not planning on dying again in a plane so we will have to fight our way out”

“I am too weak for that because of the chains” Sam informs him, massaging his wrists.

“Here, take this” he says, taking off his necklace to put it around Sam’s neck.

“What is this?”

Steve clears his throat, his face red suddenly “A blend”

“A blend of what?” Sam asks very suspicious, observing the apparent dark crystal.

Steve takes it and opens it on the top. The smell is characteristic “Bucky and Me. We don’t have much time Sam”

“Wow, just wow, we will talk about that later Rogers”

He drinks, the energy like electricity in his body. He never felt something like this before, his body feels hot and so light he starts floating.

When the first enemy arrives, Sam kicks him so hard in the torso he can hear the bones cracks.

“Stay behind me” he informs Steve, unable to say that this is to his protection too. It wasn’t much blood but enough to awake his bad side and he makes his way toward the cockpit like a human weapon.

Finally, they make it to the center of the fuselage, opening the door to fall right in front of Ode and his men.

"Well, Mister Wilson, looks like you will slowly lay on the floor before we fire at you and your friend" Ode declares.

Sam knows Steve is about to say something but a hand on his arm prevents him to do so. Instead, he says to him with a giant smile "It's going to be fun"

Sam is laughing without being able to stop, they are flying above the ocean, the plane falling behind them with a broken engine. Steve is grabbing him tight with one hand while finishing to contact the team with the other.

"You are one crazy man Sam Wilson" he says in wonder.

Sam smiles, going fast above the water. 

* * *

“So you still aren’t dating my dad?”

Sam wants to laugh but the way Bucky and Steve looks at him sober him up quickly.

“No Cassie, I am dating them now” he explains, pointing at the two pouting men.

The young girl eyes them all but eventually smiles and hugs him “Nice” she simply says.

Sam allows her to climb on his feet to go from the garden to the patio.

Hope gets Steve’s attention again and Jimmy tries not to feel too self conscious while Scott sit in his lap.

When Sam passes in front of Bucky, he takes his, today, hairless chin, between two fingers just to kiss the tip of his nose.

Scott is distracted when he hears Cassie ask Hope to have a suit to shrink too.

While Scott, Jimmy And Hope tries to explain to a young yet determined Cassie that this is way too dangerous, Steve joins Sam and Bucky near the kitchen door.

“I was wondering, Sam, if a priest puts holy water in the ocean, would you still be able to swim in it?”

Since they discovered that Sam could actually not go in churches without suffering a violent mystical headache, Bucky would occasionally ask stupid questions like that.

“Do you want to be shit on by birds again, Barnes? All I have to do is ask”

“Guys come on, can you behave a bit more? But actually, I would like to go on some holidays. What do you think about the beach?” Steve proposes after putting an arm around Bucky’s shoulder and brought Sam for a peck.

“When do we go?” Answers Bucky, the both of them looking at Sam now.

The answers is evident. He would go anywhere with them anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope that you liked it :) See you next


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